The Content Wife

The Content Wife

I wrestled with this title a bit because I thought, is there really such a wife? :) Well, if I’m reading my bible and applying it, then I do believe this is possible!

The Content Wife

My man and I were talking the other day about our current trials.  Looking back, we were trying to figure out how many years we have been living through this specific financial storm.  From the electricity being turned off to losing our home.  Then no work which resulted in no money to pay for rent. Then living with friends, and so on…You get the picture, downright difficult stuff to live through.

“It’s been almost 7 years, I told him.”  And then we both smiled because we realized the significance of this.  (Famines and droughts recorded in the Bible were often 7 years long.)  I could only hope our hardship was just about over.  But in all honesty, there was another period in my, like a decade, where I thought, “If only I was healthy, then contentment would find me.”  And so, I’ve had this never-ending battle with hoping my circumstances would change so I could become content.  But God’s taught me a lot about being a content wife over these last 15 years and the key issue is this…it’s not about your circumstances.  It’s not about your man, your home, your finances, or yourself.  It’s about how you’re living for Jesus Christ.

The other day I was reading about the Israelites and how their journey into the Promised Land would have only taken 11 days, but they decided to wander in the wilderness for a good 40 years instead.  Perhaps they liked the food?  Why, who wouldn’t want to eat manna every day?  Well, all of the Israelites grumbling and complaining got them nowhere, in fact, the majority of them didn’t even get to enter into the land.  And this got me to thinking about how am I handling my ‘wilderness moments’?

Am I full of faith like Caleb and Joshua?  Or am I bitter and discontent like the rest of the Israelites?  Quite frankly, sometimes I’m both, but I’m working on becoming a more content wife. :) Trials won’t ever go away while we’re living here on earth.  They will always be a part of our lives.

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

It’s how we handle our circumstances that will make the difference in our hearts.  We can either be bitter or better.  I want to choose better, but I’ve learned that better does not always mean easier for my flesh!

So here are a few things I have done to guard my heart from discontentment.

I’ve tried to surround myself with positive friends.  Friends that will pray for me and friends that are seeking to be content in their situations.

I’ll remove myself from friends that just bring me down.  Many times I’ve had to walk away from conversations that were centered on griping and complaining.  I learned that these conversations caused me to turn inward and become bitter over my own situation.

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”  1 Cor. 15:33

I try not to make life about me and my wants because when I focus on me, I just become more discontent.  I see the small house I live in.  The extra weight I’ve gained.  How I’m losing my hair.  Or I could find something that irritates me about my husband.  But when I focus on Christ, this is where I get my strength and joy-which ultimately leads to a content heart.

God knows the plans for your life and mine.  He knows what trials we need to go through in order to refine us.  And believe it or not, He has a special purpose for all that you’re going through.  He’ll use your mess to bring a beautiful message of His love, grace, and redemption to a world that needs to see it.  And He’ll use you for this!  But sometimes we forget all of this and we feel He has forsaken us in our situation.  But He hasn’t.  He’s with us.  He’s causing our faith to grow stronger.  He’s molding us into women who rely on His Truth rather than women who rely on our emotions when faced with hard times.

I love what the Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 4:12:

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

A wife doesn’t become content based on her circumstances because we all know that life doesn’t stay the same.  And even if things did stay the same we’d still mumble and complain over how mundane things are!

I have learned when my soul is anchored on God and not on my circumstances, then I become a content wife.  And when I seek to glorify God with my life by surrendering to His will instead of mine, then contentment naturally spills from my heart.

Here’s a quick recipe for contentment:

Rejoice always,

Pray without ceasing,

In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  1 Thess. 5:16-18

Do whatever it takes to feast on contentment today because this is a pursuit you’ll never regret!

Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.  1 Timothy 6:6-8

Join me here next Tuesday for another wife in this series.

Other posts in Becoming a Christ-Centered Wife series:

#1 The Content Wife

#2 The Confident Wife

#3 The Wife Who Bases Her Life on the Bible rather than Her Emotions

Live a poured out life for Christ,

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  1. says

    GOD knew that I needed to see this post. Thank you for listening to HIS sweet voice. I am a content wife without a husband right now, but he’s coming, GOD said so when he is ready for me, GOD will bring him. Its been 7 years this year since GOD introduced us! Excited at the fulfillment of HIS word and calling on our lives.

  2. says

    Often I get wrapped up in my circumstances and I fail to praise Him at all times. Counting it all joy….no matter what we are facing. Thank you for this reminder today….. Lots going on with our family this week….praying that God will guide us.

  3. says

    Hi Jolene! Thank you for sharing that story. I feel like I’m the only one who’s broke and has lost everything not once but multiple times. And I’m looking at having to move in July because we can’t afford the rent where we live now.

    It’s hard to remember the good things when all you do is stare at the bills you know you can’t pay. I have a bad habit of always focusing on the negatives. I don’t feel like I’m blessed because I’m just that one tiny step from losing it all.

    Thank you for the encouragement.

    • says

      Hi Linda,
      I feel your pain about moving and lack of finances. We moved 4 times in an 18 month period, and they weren’t fun moves! You’ve got to look for the good in your circumstances and even if you can’t find them you can look to Jesus. He’s perfect and He knows what He’s doing with your life. Be faithful to praise Him anyways.

  4. says

    Jolene, this is a confirmation to what God was speaking to my very spirit today. I too, thank you for hearing God and pouring into each one of us what He has placed on your heart today. I am bubbling over with Joy right now that I can’t even find the words to explain! I am still fairly new to your online blog ministry here, so anytime you have any speaking engagements coming up, I would love to be there. Blessings!

    • says

      Aww, such sweet words of encouragement, Latosha. I thought I had my comments turned off, but I guess I didn’t! Welcome here, sister and may the Lord be glorified by both our lives!

  5. says

    Jolene, I love your thoughts here. I’m usually a very content person, optimistic and happy – but this year has been exceptionally difficult for us. Your words really encouraged me and bolstered my resolve to stay in that place of contentment. Bless you!

  6. D says

    Your post have been very helpful, but I still feel that the answer that I am searching for is not available. I try desperately to give my life to Christ and for times I can tolerate my marriage. Although we face severe financial problems, they do not bother me so much anymore. What bothers me is his lack of consideration and kindness. He lives his life and I live mine completely separate in the same house. I have tried to explain my feelings and he tells me I am wrong. So I find happiness in the Lord, my children and a life that I have created around me that does not include my husband. I farm. He resents and I believe hates the farm. It is our primary source of food and provides a small income. God has blessed us with an abundant farm, although there is a serious threat that we may have to leave at anytime. I work hard but find reward and enjoyment in my work. I am home with my children and my my life is happy until I consider my marriage. We do not communicate well. He is only happy to talk about his life, not our life or our family. I feel trapped and when it comes to intimacy, I feel used.

  7. Marti says

    Thank you so much for these words of encouragement. I have struggled my whole life with contentment. It’s taken me quite a while to realize why and I’m working on it. Godly guidance is very needed. Thank you!

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