Has there ever been a time in your marriage that you had the faith like the Roman Centurion and your husband had the faith like Doubting Thomas? When your faith was deep but his was shallow? Or when you were on one side of the faith pendulum and he was on the other?
What is a wife to do if she finds herself in this situation?
Do you step forward and take over the spiritual things in the family?
Do you nag him about reading his Bible, attending church, doing family devotions, or fill in the blank?
How do you make the right decisions for your family?
I hear these things often from Christian women; women who have a deep desire to follow the Lord and seek Him in all things, but their man might be distracted, or he’s a little complacent, or maybe he’s somewhat apathetic in his walk with Christ. Many times women don’t know how to deal with these issues in their marriages seeing how the man is to be the spiritual leader of the home. So, what is she to do? How do husband and wife come together spiritually with these differences?
So today I’m going to tackle these issues.
But first, let’s take a look at what the Bible has to say about faith.
- We grow in our faith when we hear the Word of God.
- God has given each one of us a measure of faith.
- Some Believers have been given the spiritual gift of faith.
Keep these 3 aspects of faith in mind when you and your man do not see eye to eye. Perhaps you have more time to dig deeper into the Scriptures or listen to Bible radio programs throughout the day and as a result, your faith is stronger. Or maybe God has given you more faith than your husband. If either of these things are the case, then have some humility and self-control and don’t rub it in his face. If you choose to have a sort of spiritual arrogance towards him, you’ll push him away and that will cause him to not want to spiritually lead you at all. Now, this may be soooo very difficult for you because you feel that he is not directing your family very well.
But let me remind you of something, sweet friend…
Because of your desire to know Christ better, your Savior KNOWS your situation! He KNOWS your man needs to step up to the plate, but maybe, just maybe, the plate is covered by you and your man can’t step up to it. What da’ ya think? Is that maybe a possibility?
If this is an area that you struggle with in your marriage, here are some practical tips to help bridge the spiritual gap:
- Keep going deep with the Lord. Don’t lessen up your pursuit of Christ just because your husband’s faith is not as strong as yours.
- Make sure you don’t condemn, criticize, or nag your man for not having the depths of faith that you have.
- If God gave you the spiritual gift of faith, my encouragement to you would be to memorize Romans 12:3. God gave you that beautiful gift to bring Christ glory, not to make your husband feel like a worthless spiritual leader.
- Learn to become more understanding and gracious when your husband’s faith can’t move a mountain.
- Ask him how you can pray for him that day and then ask him if he can pray for you too, (this shows him softness, humility, and vulnerability).
- Submit to God and surrender all areas of your life to Him….even when it is oh so difficult! Let the Holy Spirit lead your husband spiritually, rather than you having the attitude that you need to lead your man. God won’t let you down. He’ll protect you and He’ll be by your side.
- Ask him questions with a loving heart! Ask him how he wants to handle certain situations. This shows him that you value his opinions and it shows him that you desire his leadership. Plus, it also helps him to step forward and lead! This is a very small thing, but it can make a huge impact in your marriage.
- Initiate spiritual conversations. Ask him what he thought about the message given that day at church. What he got out of it, etc. and be prepared to share your thoughts on it as well. Ask him about things in the Bible that you don’t understand (even if you think he won’t know the answer!) This might encourage him to open up the Bible and find the answers. This is something you can do together and then discuss your findings. All these things should be done in a non-threatening and non-judging way.
- Rest in the Lord. God has given your husband the grave responsibility of leading his family. When life here on earth is over, your husband will have to stand before the Lord and give an account of what he has done. It is better for you to be by your husband’s side asking him how you can help him, rather than telling him he is doing it all wrong.
- If you are married to an unbeliever….you can still do some of these things but you’ll need to tailor it to fit your specific situation. Some husbands are not angry towards God and therefore they may be a little more open to what you have to share, but others can be hostile towards the Gospel message and a lot of these things you can’t discuss with them. Remember, it is your conduct that will win him over, not your words.
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 1 Peter 3:1,2
Wise women fear the Lord. Give honor to Christ by submitting to the spiritual leadership of your husband.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
Need some encouragement and guidance in your marriage? Grab my latest book, Wives of the Bible: 25 Easy Lessons You Can Learn from these Imperfect Women that Will Radically Transform Your Marriage.