I can remember back a few years ago when I had a conversation with my husband about the topic of prioritizing wifehood. During that time, he proceeded to ask me if wifehood was a word.
I smiled and said, “Well if it isn’t, it should be!” And if it’s not, I’ll coin the word because I’m going to continue to use it to encourage wives to keep their role as a priority in their life.
Motherhood is a word and so is widowhood. Why wouldn’t wifehood be a word? Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?
It’s funny to think that if I do not hold a job outside of the home, society would label me as a housewife. For the record, I ain’t married to a house!
Now, I’ve been pondering the concept of wifehood a lot lately as I’ve been spending time with an engaged woman and some single women who desire to be married. I asked all of them what are their plans once they marry. Their answers surprised me. So this got me to thinking about the role of a wife, more specifically, why is it so diminished and undervalued in our society?
Motherhood isn’t diminished. It’s elevated.
Being a business woman isn’t diminished. It’s respected.
A woman in ministry isn’t a diminished role, either. It’s greatly revered.
But what about the position of being a wife? Is it only the husband’s job to view her worth far above rubies?
Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10
Has the church culture and society in general not given us enough teachings on the prominent and priceless position a wife holds?
And/or have we been deceived by the enemy of our souls to think that being a wife is merely a relationship status because we donned a white dress, walked down an aisle and had a fancy celebration called a wedding? Is that the extent to being a wife? Well, we have sex with our guy, too. But is that all the value a wife adds?
Now, let me ask you a few questions…
What would happen to your children if your marriage fell apart?
If you have a career, how would you handle a failed marriage? Would your difficult personal life make your business life easier or harder?
Or, what would happen to your ministry if you divorced your guy?
No one I know likes failure. And no bride I know walked down the aisle in hopes of having a difficult, loveless, or mediocre marriage.
So, bride, go back in your mind to your wedding day….think about what you wanted for your lifelong love story. Ask yourself what is it that you’re doing to protect and invest in this pursuit?
When I became a mother for the first time, my world as a wife was rocked. Learning to do motherhood and wifehood at the same time seemed nearly impossible for me. It seemed like every waking hour of my time was fully devoted to my little guy (and as a newborn, that is pretty much always the case). But my newborn started to grow and today he is now 16 yrs. old. Somewhere along the road of life, I had to learn how to prioritize wifehood so my son (and now sons) would have a home where their parents love Jesus and each other.
As women, we wear a lot of hats, but the one hat we are so quick to take off is the wife hat. Probably because our feelings for our spouse dies down and well, it’s easy to hold a grudge and somewhat check out on a relationship. Or the day to day demands of raising kids is outright draining, overwhelming, exhausting. We wonder how on God’s green earth can we actually have the emotional energy at the end of the day to prioritize our marriage?
I want you to consider the why (or the reason) for prioritizing wifehood…
Two Crucial Reasons to Prioritize Wifehood
1. As believers in Christ Jesus, our marriage is to reflect Christ and the Church.
The way we tend to and prioritize our relationship with our husband is a testimony to the world; believers and non-believers. When we live out the gospel in our marriage, this pursuit will galvanize our marital union. It will also draw us closer to each other and to God.
“Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:35
2. How we live out our marriage will teach our children how to live out their marriage.
One of the best things I can teach my sons is simply emulating the type of wife the Lord wants me to be. My actions and attitudes will shape what they choose (or not choose) in their future spouse. So I have to ask myself the question: What do I want them to see and learn about a Christ-centered marriage? And am I showing that to them?
I need to be mindful to prioritize wifehood, otherwise if I leave my post as a wife by putting other pursuits and positions first, then I can be certain my marriage will start to flounder and fail.
Action to take:
Ask your husband either some or all of the following:
- What does he need from you?
- How can you best minister to him today?
- How can you help him or love him right now?
Here are 4 different areas that you can touch on throughout the coming weeks:
- Are there things on his mental to-do list that you can take care of?
- Is he weighed down or concerned about something?
- Is he needing your support or encouragement about something?
- Does him want some time to himself?
- A nap?
- Some recreation?
- Physical intimacy?
- Is there something you can be praying for?
- Is there a scripture that would minister to him for the battle that he’s facing? Find one and look it up. Place it on a note and leave it for him.
Lastly, be willing to prioritize wifehood, today.
Question: What are you willing to do today to prioritize your role as a wife? Please share your thoughts in the comments to encourage other wives.
Live a poured out life for Christ,