…the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Sam. 18:1
There is a deep longing in my heart to have friends in my life where our souls are knit together, like the kind I find in Scripture. Where I can spend time with another woman who just ‘gets’ me.
One who supports me.
Accepts me when I cry ugly tears and is there for me when I feel like my life is falling apart.
But I have learned relationships like this take some enormous vulnerability and availability on both parties.
The old saying, “You’ll make time for what’s important to you” rings true here.
But, we all have 24 hours in the day. I have found time isn’t always the issue to creating and maintaining friends. Sometimes it’s a too full of a schedule, lack of routine, or fear of getting hurt.
Over the years, I have found that I needed routine in my life so I can plan to make friends and deepen my existing relationships, otherwise, the tyranny of the urgent would crowd out the longings in my heart for friends.
And of course, this would make a lovely excuse I could drum up so I wouldn’t have to step outside my emotional comfort zone to make friends with another woman.
After all, she might bite me. Right?
Really? Why do we have such ridiculous thoughts about other women?
Well, because we’ve been hurt. Burned. Betrayed. But the topic of being wounded by the sisterhood is for another time.
Today I want to help you (and remind myself) of the importance of creating space in your schedule so you can build some sweet fellowship into your life. Because it’s needed and it’s biblical.
Now you might be thinking you don’t have time to make new friends or even get together with the ones you already do have. Your schedule is too jam-packed or your life is too chaotic. Well, I’m here to tell you I completely understand because I have lived in both seasons.
If your soul is overwhelmed with jam-packed needs, ask yourself what can you remove from your list of commitments? Or, where does your life need more structure and routine?
I know when my boys were little, it seemed as if I got swallowed up by the demands of motherhood that I had no time for anyone else other than my kids and my husband. Perhaps you’re in a season like this?
Or you’re living in a season of chaos. One in which your home is in shambles.
The laundry is never fully done and you have no idea if that pile of clothes is dirty or clean because you’re great at washing and drying the clothes, put that put away part tends to fall by the wayside.
And dinner is a last minute idea and by the time you get around to fixing it, the ground beef is a frozen brick which means dinner will be delayed.
You’re going through life in a frenzied state and you constantly feel behind on a daily basis.
Who can possibly have time to sit and chat with a friend over coffee?
Not you. Yet, your soul longs for it (just like mine).
For the last several months I have been intentionally sowing seeds of building friendships into my schedule. What a novel idea, right? If it’s worth having, then it’s worth planning.
Tips to Create More Time in Your Life so You Can Connect with Other Women
1.Start with a daily schedule.
What time are you going to get up? How much sleep do you need each night? This will determine what time you’ll need to go to bed.
What time are breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
Work on establishing routines and order for your day.
2.Plan for the basic, on-going needs in the home.
Clean and tidy home.
Plan your meals for the week.
Have a set day where you do the grocery shopping-if this is one of your responsibilities. (My husband maintains the cars and I maintain the stomachs in the house.)
Put on your schedule the day you’re going to clean the house. For years, in my house, it was always Mondays and then there were times we cleaned various rooms throughout the week.
Same with laundry. Some years I did all of the laundry in one day and being that I’m only a family of four, I could do this. But you might have a much larger family where this is not possible.
Once you figure out a good, working routine to maintaining your home, then contact a friend and schedule an upcoming lunch date. If you’ve got kiddos, plan a play date.
Structure and routine will lead to a functioning home which will give you the blessing of time to connect with other women.
If you and I have more structure and routine, then we’ll have more time to build and maintain a friendship like Jonathan and David- two people who have their hearts knit together.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
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