Why I Don’t Try to Be a Good Wife (and what I do instead)
You might be surprised to hear this woman doesn’t try to be a good wife (nor a dutiful wife!) These type of pursuits are just plain exhausting and absent of joy.
Now, I don’t know about you but I didn’t marry my husband so I could feel like I’m wrapped up in a straight jacket and suffocating in my self-imposed standards and expectations of being a wife. I married him because I wanted to have a relationship with him rather than a to-do list for wifehood.
One of my favorite verses in the Bible is:
For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Cor. 3:17 (NLT)
Trying to be someone other than who I really am is an exhausting endeavor. There is not one ounce of me that is ‘good’. And try as I might to be a good wife, sooner than later I will fail. If you’ve read about the Proverbs 31 Woman, then you might start to hyperventilate thinking you can’t measure up to her standards. Yep, I know exactly how you feel, girlfriend. That’s why I don’t seek to live up to her standards. This is something I learned real early on in my marriage.
So, one day I just stopped trying to be good. And let me tell you girlfriend, this pursuit (or lack thereof) has been quite freeing!
Join our private, membership community of Christian Wife University to receive the rest of this teaching.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
Could it be that the Proverbs 31 woman is actually many different women? Did Solomon describe the best traits of many of his wives and put it into a description of one woman? The Proverbs 31 woman is one to be admired, but do husbands see her and then look at their own wives and are upset because their wife doesn’t measure up? I have had this in my own marriage. We married at 26, but somehow my husband has harbored a grudge toward me during our 25 years+ of marriage, that I just don’t live up to his expectations. In my disappointment and confusion of not being loved and accepted, I have lost who I really am, I am no longer a person and I wonder “what are my goals?” “what do I really like to do?” I really don’t know who I am anymore. The Proverbs 31 woman is impossible to attain.
This not being a “good wife” story might be leading somewhere good……..I only say this because some of your others writings sound pretty “good”. I know the bible says not one of us is good and only god is good, and our good works wont save us, but are as “thilthy rags”. But I must say that this part of the discussion you are trying to presant or have as possibly a taster, sounds like you are trying to appeal to people that have a lazy and rebelious spirit. It sound like its ok to accept being a bad wife. But in reality sometimes doing something nice for your husband, is a matter of your will. Not all the time, but there are times where its good just to decide to be a good wife. We are a help meet afterall.
Yes, what I’ve shared here is just a ‘taste’ of the teaching. The rest of it can be found in our private membership community.
Comments are closed.