1. One more bit of advice I’d offer this woman is to seek the help of a good, Christian counselor to walk with her through the complexities of this kind of situation. She will need the support and guidance of someone who knows the difficult dynamics that can occur in a situation like she has described.

    Thanks so much, Jolene, for having a compassionate heart toward this woman and bringing her concern to the forefront.

    1. Hi Beth, yes, another listening ear that can see the bigger picture who can offer us Biblical guidance is always needed.

  2. Hi Jolene, as I read your post the thought upper most in my mind is that I am so grateful for people like you who want to help others keep their marriages. You want others to overcome in Jesus and keep their marriages in tact. I honour you for that and I have no doubt in my mind that God will richly reward you. Marriage is empirical, so needed and so able to be good if we put our minds and especially our spirits in Christ into it.
    God bless

    1. Thanks Tracy!
      What I do is all for the Lord. The passion I have for God-fearing marriages comes from Him as well! I’m just a broken vessel trying to pour my life out for Him because He has redeemed me and transformed me. It’s the least I can for my Savior!

  3. I think you did a great job. I suppose I would just encourage her to remember that she is dearly loved by our Lord and to not beat herself up but to forgive herself and not hold onto to any guilt or anything, because guilt just paralyzes and doesn’t move us forward.

    If he does leave, she needs to let Him go, as you said. But until he does (if he does), I would tell her to read I Cor 13:4-8 every day and to insert HER name in the place of the word “love.”

    So, if her name was Debbie she’d be reading “Debbie is patient, Debbie is kind….” and prayerfully ask for God’s grace and strength to show His love to her husband. She needs to be in His word every day. Because it is God who enables us to love. Please let her know that I, and others I am sure, will be praying for her and her marriage.

    She also should find a church if she hasn’t already, because she can’t lead her children any closer to the Lord than she is herself, and they all need the support, the teaching, and the fellowship.

    Now, I have a silly question for YOU! I am going to link up to your Monday link for the first time, and I can’t find your pages individual URL to link up to, so that my link goes to this linky page instead of your blog’s main page.

    Usually, I click on the title of a post and it take’s me to that page’s URL, or it’s in the date. I can’t find the right thing to click onto, so I guess I will just use your blog’s URL. But if you could help me know how to find the individual URL for this page that would be awesome! I guess I am just clueless today, lol! Thanks so much!

    1. Now that I’ve asked all this question I realize that you’re only asking me to link back using your blog button, so I imagine that it will be o.k. to use that. Sorry!

      1. Momstheword,
        No, it’s not you, my site is new and there’s some bugs that need to get worked out. Amen to all of your encouragement!

  4. Jolene,
    Thanks for sharing your “words of wisdom.” It’s so easy to forget in the day to day life, what a blessing marriage is and what a treasure our husbands are. May we, as wives, and children of God, seek God to strengthen our marriages and increase our love and devotion towards our husbands. God bless you in your ministry!

  5. Wonderfully written, Jolene! I only want to highlight one of your points. First – I’ve BEEN THERE. And all your points were ones I had to walk out, but the one I want to highlight is the “entice him” one. Once I really got a hold of the importance of that one, my marriage improved in LEAPS AND BOUNDS. A wise pastor’s wife once told me, “As my husband once said to me, “If I told you I wasn’t “in the mood” or was “too tired” for a nice long chat about life, the kids, and our day, every day for a couple of weeks, you would feel totally alone, angry, hurt, and like I didn’t really care. Why do wives tell their husbands, over and over, that they’re “not in the mood” or “too tired” for sex, when women know that sex is a primary way that men feel loved.”

    I hope I didn’t overstep. Thank you for your dedication to marriages.

    1. Oh goodness, Christy, I didn’t feel like you overstepped AT ALL! 🙂 I fully agree with what you’ve shared and I’m glad you shared it. I just listed it as a bullet point because it needs to be addressed, after all, I married my husband so I could have sex with him! 🙂 And I believe most women married their man for that reason as well. I just didn’t elaborate on the subject matter here because I don’t know if there’s another woman in the picture and I wanted to be really sensitive to that possibility. But God knew you’d share your story here! Thanks friend!

      1. I see what you’re saying 😉 I’m praying for strength for these women who are fighting for their marriages, and for God to intervene in the union. My heart aches for marriages to be restored. When we can go beyond how we “feel” and do what is right, we are UNSTOPPABLE in the Kingdom of God!!!!

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