Waiting, Hoping, and Praying for Things to Change
It’s been a while since I last wrote to you as I haven’t done much ministry lately seeing how I needed to be ministered to. Nothing can be poured out from an empty vessel!
If you’ve followed my blog for some time, then you know I’ve lived with chronic illnesses. I’ve been battling issues for 20 years and I’m quite well versed in the land of health and functional medicine, essential oils, supplements, juicing, and all other remedies and treatments that taste disgusting.
Eric and I have spent 10’s of thousands of dollars to fix this vessel I call my body. Outside of the Bible and books on Christian Living, you’ll find the second most read topic of books garnering my bookshelves are on health. In the last two decades, I have learned a thing or two. I’ve had restrictive diets consisting of whole-grain and all organic, to gluten-free, to what has been called the Caveman diet to rid my body of candida. I’ve had protocols to heal leaky gut, fix my hormones, and add good probiotics to my gut, to taking 100 supplements a day, not to mention acupuncture and traditional Chinese medicine. You name it, there’s a good chance I’ve done it.
Last year at this time, my health started to decline and during the Fall it got increasingly worse. In fact, I felt like I was losing my mind. I couldn’t remember simple bible verses and I even had a hard time speaking coherent thoughts on the podcast. And forget about writing! I didn’t have the physical energy nor the mental clarity to put a full sentence together. Hence, why you haven’t heard much from me.
But, and this is a glorious but…
God has brought some remarkable healing to my body after all of these years!
And because you’re inquisitive or you yourself or a loved one has been living with chronic illnesses, I know you’re going to email me asking what I did to bring said healing to my body. Well, I’ll save you the trouble and share what I’ve been up to for the last 6 months of my life.
(If you don’t care about my story or you don’t have any health issues (today), just feel free to move on from this article as the rest of it won’t apply to you. No sense in wasting your time.)
Last July I was faced with a new symptom: anxiety. Over the past 20 years, as I’ve battled chronic fatigue, PCOS, Lupus, Fibromyalgia, IBS, depression, thyroid and adrenal issues, I now had to deal with anxiety…for no good reason. During this time, there were no new circumstances in my life that would warrant this response from my body.
Fast forward to the Fall and then I couldn’t think clearly and I felt like I was having a mental break down. During this season, I was dealing with an emotional storm due to crushing parenting days. However, when the storm finally settled a bit, I still couldn’t regain my mind. I figured I just needed to rest and take a break from as many things as I could but over time rest did not bring me healing, therefore, I knew I had to make a change in my life.
Here we go again, I thought. What avenue do I seek now for treatment? That was the million dollar question.
At the time, I was trying to fix my two big issues: my mind returning and energy. And that’s when I tried the Keto diet like a billion other people on the planet.
Trust me, I didn’t have a bowl of bacon and butter each morning! Sure, removing sugar and carbs helped me to regain my mind little by little and it did give me energy, but then the energy stopped. Wait? What?
Woah, woah, woah, I did not sign up to eat a slab of beef and veggies on a regular basis to all of a sudden have no energy again! If that were the case, I’d rather eat a burrito and take a nap. Then Eric suggested I eat some carbs and maybe things would get better, but I wasn’t sure how to go about that. And lo and behold, God gave me my answer and I wasn’t even looking for it! Well, that’s not true. I had been praying for relief for 20 years!
The Story of God’s Providence
Here’s the back story. Last Christmas, Eric gave me a generous gift card as a present to Lifeway Christian Bookstore. In March, the company announced that they were closing their stores. Upon hearing the news I figured I needed to head to the store before the shelves were empty so I can cash in on some goodies. But when I got there, books were sparse. However, one book I had heard of while perusing Pinterest for more keto recipes was the Trim Healthy Mama Plan, a plan I knew nothing about other than recipes I saw on-line.
Much to my surprise and delight, there was the plan book sitting ever so lonely up on a shelf of a depleted inventory of books at a Christian bookstore. I figured, well, I’ve got a gift card to redeem so I might as well buy the book. We headed home and I started reading, and reading, and reading.
And that’s when the heavens opened and my two decades of chronic ill health began to change. Two decades, friend! That’s a long time. Everything I learned over the years finally came together when I read this book. This book, that the Lord lead me to, was like the missing piece to my health puzzle.
I’ll let you in on a quick secret about healing and energy (and weight loss seeing how I’ve lost over 25 pounds.)
It’s about balancing your blood sugar.
Seriously, after all of these years of restrictive diets, supplements, Chinese medicine, essential oils, and on and on and on, why did no one ever tell me about balancing my blood sugar?
If you heal your body, you’ll get energy, and if you get energy, there is a good chance you’ll lose weight, which is a nice by-product to the journey.
So, that’s what I’ve been up to for the last 6 months. Most of my time is spent in the kitchen cooking 90% of my meals from scratch. I’m still healing and I have a long way to go seeing how I’ve had health issues since I was an infant. There’s a good chance I was a drug baby based on all that I went through as a child. Being that I’m adopted, I’ll never know the truth.
I’m slowly but surely getting back on my ministry feet as I write this letter to you.
As I move forward in this new season of my life there are a few things I want to share with you if you’re living in a hard season:
3 Things to Remember When Experiencing Longsuffering
1) Remain steadfast in following the Lord.
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. 1 Corinthians 15:58
2) In spite of how long you’ve been living in your trial, keep praying.
But to You I have cried out, O LORD, and in the morning my prayer comes before You. Psalm 88:13
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6
3) When your soul and heart are weary, listen to God’s voice, not Satan’s.
Satan is a known liar. He wants you to feel forsaken by God. As you continue on your longsuffering journey, Satan will send traveling companions called Forsaken and Abandoned your way. Don’t listen to their lies.
For the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6
Tomorrow is my spiritual birthday of 23 years of following Jesus. 20 of those years God saw it fit for me to be in lockdown, residing in a prison cell called my body. During those difficult years, much of my life hurt. It was hard, and it was dark. But…much good came as a result which I’ll share with you at another time.
Don’t lose heart, friend.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
Jolene Engle
