godly wife


    1. Hi Tiffany,
      The link to the audio player is just below the graphic, “When You Don’t Want to Be a Godly Wife.” Try using a different browser so you can click the audio player.

    1. Hi Amanda,
      I’m not sure why that is. I’ve checked your concern on the back end and everything seems to be working. Maybe a different browser will help?

  1. Thank you so much for this post…I think all of us wives need a reminder every now and then that it’s really not “all about us”. Marriage is a ministry very close to Gods heart and He has called us to be wives who live and act according to His word. It’s definitely not easy, trust me! I’ve been through the ringer with my marriage…but I can tell you that God is redeeming everything bad that happened and all the hurt I went through; He’s working a miracle. But before that started happening, I found myself faced with a choice…to be obedient to the road God was calling me to or to get a divorce like I wanted to (because I felt I “deserved” someone better, someone who wouldn’t betray and lie to me). Thankfully, I was obedient and God is blessing me and my marriage for making the hard choice. Being a Godly wife is hard, especially if you’ve been hurt by your husband…but it’s so much bigger than that. It’s about showing God that you DO trust Him, you DO love Him, and you ARE grateful for what He has done for you! Be encouraged my dear sisters, God WILL bless you if you obey Him and do your part to be a Godly wife. Much love and blessings:)

  2. Hello Jolene, Maybe your website can be an encouragement for a friend of ours whose husband has hired a divorce lawyer. She is a Christian now, he is not, as far as I know. She is being given advice to get him out of her life, because he mistreats her and is an unbeliever. My marriage was saved by my first sincere conversation with God 9 years ago, which my first blog post tells our story of me learning the two loves, God vs. dictionary, and my husband is so happy that I let Jesus save our marriage. Neither one of us were Christians for most of our relationship, together since 1989 when we were 18 (me) and he 21.

    Anyway, I am so discouraged about not yet finding a church yet that FOR SURE teaches that Jesus not only exemplified absolute unconditional marriage love, but expects it from people too. I read Matthew chapters 5 & 19 and see Jesus describing six ways that people commit adultery, and confirming that marriage is for life unconditionally, but most churches teach people to ignore Ephesians 5, teaching that they shouldn’t have to suffer in a miserable marriage, or where one spouse is cheating. I see zero Biblical example of a godly spouse giving up on a marriage because of adultery, nor do I see any commands or allowances to divorce because of a spouse’s sin. We can’t lose our salvation, and we are said by Jesus to be no longer twain but one. No longer, permanent.

    People are even claiming that if an unbeliever leaves, we aren’t in bondage to the marriage vows. Yet, in Biblical context, those were brand new Christians being rejected by their Jewish spouses, where both were Jewish until Jesus came along. The unbelievers wanted a divorce because of JESUS, not because they had an arguing problem, or other reasons, Jesus was the ONLY reason that an unbeliever wanted out of the romance. Same deal as when a Muslim becomes a follower of Jesus, even if they want to stay married, the spouse hates JESUS, even if they have no complaints personally about their Christian spouse other than their new religion that is absolutely not allowed by the Jewish leaders or Imam of a Koran following group.

    So I only see Jesus reminding people that we are to be as stuck in marriage as Adam & Eve and other couples in the beginning before Moses permitted divorce reluctantly, so that people could know they were being chosen to stay married to rather than forced. In a sad way, our children know that we chose to have them rather than being forced, because humanly legal evils help people know they are chosen rather than forced to be tolerated. And Jesus said in Matthew 5 that breaking our promises is of evil. I believe Jesus was just describing most graciously in Matthew 5 & 19 about WHO committed adultery FIRST and HOW, listing the 6 ways people commit adultery, and no way was he permitting divorce for one particular reason. The book of Hosea disproves an exception for cheating, among MANY other chapter, books of the Bible and verses. It’s sad how people are blaming Jesus for divorce and conditional love, like we don’t have to follow His example of unconditional sacrificial love, like it’s good to suffer, even die as a missionary, but not suffer in our own home in order to show the world what God’s love is like, what His help is like.

    So, are you also part of the divorce for reason of adultery crowd? Please say no, and why. I refuse to believe my devotion to my husband, or anyone with a really horrible husband they refuse to give up on, is living a love that is better than Jesus’ teachings. I thought all along that Jesus’ teachings and example for us to follow was THE pinnacle of the best love there ever could be. I am so sad that most people are blaming Jesus for divorce. Cheating on a spouse isn’t even a rational worst sin against a spouse. It would be cruel for Jesus to permit divorcing a nice spouse cheating, but not a vicious violent drug addict murderous spouse, or even a relentless severely neglectful alcoholic, or a daily verbally violent spouse. Jesus commanded us to love others as He loves us, and the fruit of the spirit just doesn’t seem to be at work in a divorce no matter what the reason (except a marriage that God doesn’t recognize, like a legalized marriage that is really forced slavery or same gender, you know…God didn’t join them into one which requires male/female and their own free will choice.)

    I’d like to recommend your mentoring to some ladies I have been helping with their marriages, but I’d like to know your beliefs on which kind of love we are to have, unconditional or conditional? Bible or dictionary? I just don’t see Jesus permitting anything but unconditional love. The disciples in Matthew 19 were in such grief over his zero divorce teaching, that they were ready to write off all romance ever, never marry. Some say they were saying they’d just do romance without marriage, even live together, but these were the same disciples that were there for Matthew 5. NO WAY would they talk about just fornicating instead of marrying. Jesus next talked about Eunuchs, no coincidence. Because if you’re not going to marry, you need to know what else to do with your extra time, and that marriage is not the only way to be happy and serve God.

    My first blog post can be found at WinsomeWife.wordpress.com

    I hope to write a book someday about unconditional marriage love, to help couples and also to win people to the source of this amazing love that seems so irrational & unfair. I can’t believe that any human can think up a more loving way to related to a spouse than Jesus’ teachings. Some say that forgiveness of a spouse is optional. Really? Where is that in the Bible? I sure don’t want to be an unmerciful servant. No way could my husband sin against me anywhere near as much as I’ve sinned against God. I’m a believer in the free gift of salvation, and the free gift of marriage love. My husband can’t earn my love, nor can he do anything to ruin my commitment to my part of my wedding vows. I’m a huge fan of Hosea, favorite Bible guy….I’m starting a fan club.

    It makes me happy that my marriage devotion seems irrational, unfair, foolish to unbelievers, and also most Christians. I’m just following Jesus’ marriage example, and there’s no giving up because of a spouse hurting us emotionally or physically. So glad we aren’t the literal Savior of the world, and we can visit a spouse in jail if need be. You know, I almost wish my husband were one of the worst, so God’s love through me would be even more obvious.

    Let me know what you think of my blog, and my take on Matthew 5 & 19 being Jesus describing the six ways people commit adultery, NOT any permission to divorce because of adultery….WHO committed adultery FIRST and HOW
    1. Thought lust
    2. Divorcing a spouse
    3. Fornication
    4. Being a victim of a divorce
    5. Marrying a divorced person
    6. Marrying another as a divorced person

    Thank you,
    All for Jesus,
    Amy West

    1. God can redeem any marriage if the two spouses are willing to surrender to Him. Jesus is for reconciliation but that doesn’t mean that both spouses are. One may not care about following the Lord and they’re not willing to submit themselves to the authority of Christ or the Word of God. So they make the decision to leave the marriage. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7:15, “But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.”

      For adultery, again, God wants reconciliation because He hates divorce as He declares in Malachi 2:16, “I hate divorce!” However, Jesus permits divorce in the case of sexual immorality based on Matt.19:9 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality,and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

      Man was the one who created the institution of divorce. This was never God’s plan for the marriage covenant.

      For more on my views about divorce, here is a great article from FamilyLife that goes into this topic much more extensively than what I can share here in a blog comment. Personally, I hold to the same Biblical views regarding divorce as FamilyLife.

      1. May I chime in? I respectfully disagree. I’m not married, but my mom has been married to the devil’s twin brother for 28 years. She and my siblings and I have been through a living hell because of him. My mom has tried everything under the sun and been everything a Christian wife is supposed to be and my dad has rejected all of it, primary reason being that he is not saved. If your husband is verbally violent, cheats on you, beats you up, or constantly lies, you DO NOT have to stay married to him. God does not advocate or support that and if an unbeliever wants to leave, let him go. Forgive me if this comes across as slightly upset, but coming from the viewpoint of someone whose dad is a pathological liar, has had at least one emotional affair, and hates his wife (wishes she didn’t exist), I am sick of seeing people say to stay married to him even when (and then put a whole bunch of things that most women wouldn’t put up with for a week before saying “bye-bye”) just boils my potatoes. If your husband lies, cheats, is verbally, mentally, or any other way abusive, I would get out, or toss him out.

        And as Jolene said, BOTH spouses have to be willing to work at it. If your husband isn’t willing to work at it, there’s only so much you can do. Don’t make yourself sick trying to show how loving God is. Don’t let your spouse drain the life out of you in the name of “showing God’s love.” Sometimes the only way to show God’s love is to stand up for yourself. Being a doormat is NOT showing God’s love.

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