Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7
What? Why would I be a weaker vessel? I’m just as strong as a man. I’m independent and I can take care of myself!
Then I started to date my man and that’s when the Lord began to dish me out some humble pie. And to this day I still don’t like the taste of that stuff.
There are several areas in marriage where husbands can be stronger than their wives and today I’m going to share on 3 of them.
In my mind I said this, “Well, I’m a woman and I can get across this itty-bitty stream just fine and I don’t need your help!”
With a sweet smile on my face I politely declined his offer. Then I stepped across to the rock and my foot slipped on the slimy thing and I fell straight into the stream. My boots, socks and pant legs were soaking wet. Now had I allowed my man to help me I would have stepped on his foot rather than the slippery rock. But not me. I was too strong-willed, self-sufficient, and most certainly a woman who didn’t need help from some man. Oh, how I had much to learn.
“Let me get those,” he said.And in my mind I said, “What? I workout. I’m strong. I can handle this myself. Backup man!”Again, with a sweet smile on my face I politely declined his offer of help. Then I turned to the binders and I started to remove the box. As soon as I had the entire weight of the binders in my arms I completely dropped them! There wasn’t even the slightest bit of struggle to hold them because they were so incredibly heavy. One would think that I purposefully moved them off the other pallets just so I could throw them in the air. Binders flew out of the plastic wrapping and were now everywhere. I felt utterly ridiculous and embarrassed. I looked at my man and gave him a weak laugh as I knew the word, ‘fool’, was written on my forehead.
In my mind I thought. “Next time I’ll let him help me.”
Well, that didn’t happen.
“Do you want a trashcan to throw up in?”
Apparently the color on my face didn’t scream supermodel.
I politely declined his offer of help as usual. I proceeded to get out of bed and my Beloved came to my side to help me get up.
“I’m fine,” I said. And as soon as the word ‘fine’ came out of my mouth so did a bunch of vomit all over his shoes!
I obviously wasn’t fine.I was starting to learn that physically speaking he was stronger than I was especially as we moved into the next 10 years of my own chronic illnesses. Weak and feeble were the words that would have described me best.
He could handle the financial affairs of our business and personal accounts much better than I could. Being that he was self-employed, it was challenging to say the least to figure out how much income we would receive each month. So I’d always stress out over paying the bills. It would keep me up at night and eventually I’d just freak out over the pressure. Even though I spent many years in the business world and prided myself on being a strong career woman, my man was just so much more level-headed and mentally tougher than I was.
I thought I was one tough chick, but I was wrong again, as usual. On numerous occasions my man handled family, friends, frienemies, and ministry issues much better than I did. He didn’t get nearly bent out of shape and all emotional like I did. He handled things with much more composure than I ever would. I’d just get off the phone and cry or throw an angry fit over the situation. He, on the other hand would be very diplomatic, yet firm. I saw time and time again how his emotions were much more controlled than mine were.
So after all these years, I’ve come to a conclusion. God does know what He’s talking about when He referred to wives as being the weaker vessels. After all, God made man’s shoulders bigger than a woman’s for a reason. It’s because they can handle carrying more than we can.
Sometimes we get caught up in doing everything by ourselves, yet marriage is not designed to be that way. Husbands are to dwell with us with understanding, but sometimes our men don’t know how to do this because we show them that we are fine and that we’ve got everything under control. Well, from one wife to another, we all know that just ain’t the truth! We freak out. We cry. We eat chocolate. And maybe we’d just like to slap someone from time to time.
Now of course not all men will have the same strengths that my husband has and not all wives will have the same many weaknesses that I have. The purpose of pointing out this passage of scripture is to remind you that God fashioned your man to be stronger than you in some ways.
As you go through life with your husband, don’t be afraid to let him know you can’t handle certain things. By him knowing your weaknesses this will give him insight in how to dwell with you and it also helps him to minister to you. We’re designed to work together and lift each other up.
4 Ways to Help Your Husband Dwell with You
- Communicate to your man that you need his help. I know, I know, you’ll have to swallow your pride on this one.
- Let him know you welcome his help and appreciate it.
- Let him intervene with your problems but do not criticize him for the way he is handling the situation. If you let him know he’s not doing it right, be prepared for him to stop helping you.
- If you’ve developed a relationship with your husband where you are doing everything and he no longer offers to help you, then eat some humble pie. Wave your white, ‘I surrender flag’, and let him know you need him. A little bit of honesty, humility, and sincerity can go a long way in your marriage.
Your relationship, your one flesh union with your husband will grow stronger as a result of him learning to dwell with you. Welcome him to be the hero to his damsel in distress.
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