1. Hi Jolene!

    I think this article made great points, yet it also strengthened certain stereotypes. This is such a delicate subject and I would have liked to read what you specifically mean when you say “young men are acting more and more effiminate”? Without opening up such a claim it has the possibility of reinforcing a reader’s negative stereotype such as “boys shouldn’t cry or express their emotions”. I’m at least hoping you didn’t mean that. And also I find myself cringing when women want “Godly, manly men” and wonder where said men are. I find it to be very narrowminded and very disrespectful towards men, as if there is only one right way to be a manly man and many men don’t meet up to that standard. But I’d love to hear what you have to say. I just find that so often the “manly man” role offered to Christian men is so demanding, stereotypical and narrow, and only a few men will naturally find they fit that mold and the rest are left ashamed, faking it or forever feeling not enough, and women overlook these men or feel they don’t meet up to the standards, that they aren’t “manly men”.

    1. I could be wrong, but the impression that I got was somewhat different. You’re right that men shouldn’t be pigeon holed into this “real men don’t cry” stereotype, but being a manly, masculine man can take so many different shapes and sizes. Any man leading his home, being passionate and disciplined, being his own man, following after God, full of conviction over what’s right, who knows himself and believes in himself, that’s a manly masculine man. I think it has more to do with the attitude. Manliness and masculinity can be expressed in hundreds of different ways.

      But she has a point that a lot of men nowadays do adopt more feminine rolls because feminism teaches them to be ashamed of what makes them manly. If they want to lead, they’re labeled abusive. If they think they ought to run the finances, they’re manipulative. If they want the final say on big decisions in the home? They’re a tyrant. In many places and ways our world is not friendly to a man taking up the responsibilities that God has set aside for him.

      So we end up with many men who grow more and more depressed who either opt out of marriage or adopt a helpmate role simply because it’s safer and they’ve been told that anything else is abuse. Or men who simply give up on their marriages because they’ve had all the rewarding parts of their masculinity stripped away. And men are told that this is what women want. So it can be a challenge to find a man willing to stand up and be a man and be vocal about wanting a man’s role.

  2. I’m getting married in August and one thing I know for a fact that I’ll have to work on is control. I am pretty organized and pretty controlling when it comes to where things go and things like that. I have been praying that the Lord will allow me to loosen up and not be so controlling! It’s so hard sometimes!


  3. There were only 4 of the 10 ways which I guess is enough, but if there are more I’d. Like to see them!

  4. My ex-to be wife refuses to believe this has happened. Unintentional or not it’s abusive.

  5. My wife undermines and emasculates me regularly. She’s always put her daughter first, too. They’re more like a partners than my wife and I are. I’m fed up but there’s no change in sight…

Comments are closed.