1. Thank you so much for this post! I feel like the Lord lead me straight to this tonight, as it has been an ongoing struggle. It’s always on my heart to change things, but it’s putting it into action that is the hard part.

  2. This post really hits close to home for me. I am struggling with severe chronic illnesses and its easy to lose those close feelings together as husband and wife when you aren’t well. It’s so true that even just reestablishing intimacy by holding hands and maybe a gentle kiss can get things back to where you want to be as a couple. Today I wrote a post on my blog along these lines about how maybe you can’t do exactly what you’d like to do in your current circumstances as a couple, but you can do SOMETHING for your spouse that rekindles romantic feelings even if it is just a nice note reminding them why you love them. http://mapletreesandhoneybees.blogspot.com/2013/02/days-like-today.html

  3. Dearest Jolene,
    Those migraines are tortuous! My prayers to you for healing. I lived with them for years until I turned about 50, but then menopause dropped in. I wanted you to know I have been pursuing my husband ever since I sent you the email about our pending divorce beginning in December. Hince, I sent you another one letting you know we reconciled. I love how you responded to me. We are still healing! Whenever I’m not feeling secure about things with him & I; an email of yours pops up or I run across The Alabaster Jar.

    So I was reading another one of your post today called, “What to Do When a Husband Doesn’t Love His Wife with Christ-Like Love”. Number 9–He’s afraid to love his wife. He may have dwelt with a contentious wife for many years and now he’s afraid to give his heart away to her again. He’s been beat up, discouraged, emasculated, and disrespected by her and he’s reluctant to let his walls down and let her back in and love her.
    The messages here were answers I needed this afternoon. Answers to my prayer. BE PATIENT! Now his walls are coming down, cause we have reconciled and also my walls are coming down. I still want to tell you how much I appreciate your ministry cause really I had no idea of what marriage is about. I’m still learning to express myself but with you and Jesus I think I’ll get it.

    1. Praise the Lord, Mary Rose! May the Lord be glorified in your marriage. Stand strong, walk the narrow path as hard as that might be and continue to love and respect your man!

  4. Oh my, this is such an incredibly wife-encouraging article! How come I didn’t realize this earlier? that before marriage, the man pursues the woman he loves, but after marriage, the wife has every right and duty to pursue her husband! Btw, I also love the picture. It has perfectly captured the essence of this post! The girl’s face is one that expresses determination to go and search with her lamp and nobody from behind could stop her. Congratulations and God bless your site more and more!

  5. Oh, I love this!! We just recently did Tommy Nelson’s SOS study, and I loved the part about her going to find him. I sometimes feel discouraged that I am the one doing most of the pursuing, but then I remind myself that that is what Satan wants me to waste my time worrying about – I love to pursue my man! And God has truly blessed our relationship, so who am I to (even subconsciously) keep score?

  6. Such an important concept, Jolene! And one wives need to be repeatedly reminded of. It is so easy to let our other responsibilities squeeze out this very vital part of being married. Thanks for the reminder not to let that happen!

  7. It’s interesting because I’m not sure at what point in life we become so self-centered but it certainly happens. But I find it an honor to chase my man – woot woot :).

  8. Very Sweet! I love it when my husband used to call me his BELOVED. He was actually the one who introduced me to The Song of Solomon! Before we got married and living far away from each other due to interracial marriage, we used to talk about this verse online. I love the way we read the verse together. That’s when my husband swept me off of my feet!

  9. I love this post! I always try to pursue my husband. God has blessed me with more patience recently. I used to be the type of woman who would blow up at little things, now I’m better at holding my tongue and rewording my frustration in a gentle way. I’m so glad that I’m not the ‘quick to anger’ wife anymore. Thanks so much for the encouragement.

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  10. Total conviction! I am in this current situation of NO intimacy in our relationship and just existing as roommates. We sit in separate rooms until bed, and if i don’t go to bed before him then that is the only time I see him.
    This brings things to a different perspective.

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