1. Jolene,
    You’ve given answers that are sound and biblical, and I know from the little bit I know of your story, that they are answers forged in the crucible of suffering. While we would never choose to walk some of the paths God allows us on, he is so faithful to reveal spiritual truths that we might never have learned any other way. And yes, that in turn gives us comfort to share with others, an enlarged heart to minister and pray, and an understanding of the wonderful, pain-free world in which we will spend eternity. With every trial we endure, Heaven gets that much sweeter. Even so, come quickly, Lord Jesus.

  2. Thank for this article. I too suffer from a chronic pain condition. Several years ago my husband left me because of my illness. He just didn’t want to deal with a sick wife anymore. I am curious to know- What illness do you live with ?

    1. I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through Jenny.
      Goodness, I have had a host of conditions. Ranging from Fibromyalgia, IBS, Thyroid issues, chronic fatigue, PCOS, rupturing ovarian cycts, infections throughout my body, insulin resistance, sjorgren’s syndrome, lupus, adrenal fatigue, to TMJ. That’s just a few things I deal with. Praise the Lord that my issues are no longer as severe as they once were.

  3. Every little thing that happens to us does have a purpose. We’re most likely to find the answers that we are looking for by not questioning His ways. Believe and lift everything to His name and you’ll be rewarded in the end. 🙂

    Visiting you from the Happy Wives Club link up.

  4. Thank you Jolene for faithfully hosting the linkups each week. I also appreciated this post on chronic illness in marriage and it makes me want to take better care of myself and not take my health for granite.

    1. You are welcome, Judith. I’m glad to hear you’re not going to take your health for granted. When we have it, it’s so easy for us to not think about it.

  5. You have offered Godly insight and I appreciate it. I am praying for the right words and opportunity to share these with my husband (the chronic illness prson). Afte commnting on the first post in this series, I have spent more time in prayer asking for discernment to handle situations that seem to constantly arise. I am learning so much and am so thankful for your wisdom. God bless you and your ministry.

    1. Susan,
      What a blessing to hear that what I have shared has helped you. Seeking the Lord is always best…in any situation. I’m going to address Communication later in the series.

  6. I’m on both sides of this issue. I was recently diagnosed with the early onset of Lupus and my husband is a newly recovering alcoholic. His disease is every bit as real as cancer, diabetes, or Lupus. We both hurt and help in different ways. Thank you for the Word today. I needed that!

  7. thank you for your post on this topic. I have fibromyalgia/Chronic fatigue syndrome and it HAS been really hard on our marriage. I think the biggest part that has been a loss is our physical relationship.
    We a talk about it yesterday, we are best friends and so close now, that I could tell him that I might not be able to have sex per se, but it wouldbe nice once a week to receive a hug, for him to reach out and hold my hand. We laughed over the fact that we had to talk about it! He is just a sweetie and dosn’t want to hurt me.
    and it turns out he has the same illness as I so he’s too tired too.
    I think openness and honesty is SUPER important in these situations. But only if you can do it without being frustrated or hurt in your response.
    Any who, just me 2 cents worth. I talk alot about fibro/CFS on my blog too 🙂 great to get to know you a bit more Jolene <3

    1. Christine,
      You are so right about talking about it! Communication in this aspect of one’s life is SO important. Thanks for sharing your story, Christine.

  8. It’s interesting because my mom has been chronically ill for so long but I don’t think she’s ever asked that question. She’s always said she’s on a Need to Know Basis with God. Similar to the military, she presumes she knows all she needs to know just for the current moment. And she’s always said she’s given God permission to decide on which side of the river she will be healed :).

    Now…I don’t know if I would be able to respond the same but it has been pretty amazing to watch her faith only continue to grow over the past 15 years and this unknown illness has debilitated her for more than a decade.

    1. Fawn,
      I like what your mom has said, “I’m on a Need to Know Basis with God!” 🙂
      Yes, chronic illness will certainly increase one’s faith, that is, if they are willing to submit to God. It’s wonderful to hear that your mom has grown deeper with God.

  9. Hello Jolene,
    Thank you for your beautifull words. Sometimes I thought I wasn’t normal because people around me reacted as if I was having a high thought of myself, because I said sometimes that my situation felt like Pauls, being used by God because of me having this illness and pain, having a thorn because I need it, so God could work through me. Thank you for letting this know, it feels for me as a gift from God special to me, that I am very quite normal and close to my Lord.
    God bless you, Astrid.

  10. Jolene

    I recieved your information above from our soon to be daughter-in-law. My wife needs this information so much. She has been ill basically all of our married life ( and before) -over 28 years- well over 50 surgeries, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, cancer, thyroid problems, cardiovascular problems- on and on. She fights daily for a feeling of self worth. I fight daily to provide hope when I often have trouble myself. To add to the pain we lost one of our children to suicide. She does not say it but I know she thinks God has abandoned her. I pray she will read your blog and gain some inspiration. I have.



  11. Thanks for sharing this part of your life, Jolene. I have had one type of chronic health issue of one type or another since I can remember. I believe in miraculous healing – my mother’s epilepsy “went away” when she gave birth to me (she’s had one seizure since during exceptionally stressful circumstances.) I’m epileptic, too, have had painful gastrointestinal problems since I was very young, and I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia at 20, and all the issues that come with it like neuropathy, weakness, brain fog, pain and spasms, restlessness, chronic fatigue, and even joint pain and stiffness, because it’s paired with hypermobility. I have anxiety and panic attacks as well, that began around the time I began having seizures, and I recently discovered I have an arrhythmia (the list just keeps going, haha!) Sick is my normal, so, although I have a hard time trusting God in other areas, my health hasn’t been one of them for a very long time. My husband, on the other hand, is as strong as an ox, and very healthy. I started going through the battle with FMS while we were dating, so even though he doesn’t always understand my struggles, he’s always trying his hardest to take care of me. We have lived in an on-campus mission for two and a half years now, and I’ve had several sweet students in that time who’ve asked to pray healing over me. One approached me just a few days ago, and asked what each person always asks afterward: “Do you feel any pain?” Each time, the answer has been yes, but I’m quick to explain that it’s OK. I believe in miracles, but if God isn’t using my illness to illustrate miracles of healing, God’s using it to illustrate any number of other things. I say that suffering is promised us, and that sometimes it’s necessary. Usually the response is, ” … But God doesn’t cause suffering,” to which I reply, “… but He can use it!” I see everyday the things God is working on in me and through me in relation to my illness, whether it’s my relationship with my husband, my own pride, or to be supportive to someone else who’s going through something similar. Since FMS changes often, my “normal” changes often, which opens up new opportunities to learn, teach, and grow. Of course, I have days when I’m angry or sad, and that’s just fine. I just try to direct it at the illness, instead of other people (that one is the hardest for me,) or God.

Comments are closed.