How Do I Revive a Stale Marriage?

“I Don’t Want to Feel Like a Roommate Anymore”

That line came from a young wife’s email. She and her husband have an almost two-year-old. He doesn’t plan dates. He doesn’t initiate intimacy. When she reaches for him, he’s too tired. He doesn’t look at her the way he used to.

Maybe you could have written that email yourself.

Here’s what I want you to know first: a stale marriage is not a dead marriage. Stale is a season, not a life sentence. This week on The Marriage Mentor Podcast, Eric and I sat down to answer her, honestly and practically.

Most Marriages Don’t Die of a Catastrophe

“Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.” Song of Solomon 2:15

Notice what this verse doesn’t say. No bear tore through the vineyard. No fire burned it down. Most marriages don’t end in one dramatic moment. They get nibbled, one little fox at a time: exhaustion, unspoken disappointment, dates no one plans, screens.

In the episode, Eric names one more fox most people won’t say out loud. It’s hard to hear, and he says it anyway, with grace for both husband and wife.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode

• Why the season after a baby can quietly push a husband to third place, and how to restore God’s order of God, spouse, kids
• The one sentence I’d say to my husband in her shoes, and why it opens a door instead of starting a fight
• What to do when he insists nothing is wrong
• The simple “couch time” habit that protected our marriage when our boys were little
• An easy way to bring back mystery without planning a magical date
• The question Eric believes every husband should ask himself every single day

Press Play

If you feel like you’re living with a roommate instead of a husband, this conversation is for you. And if you know a wife who is quietly lonely in her marriage, send it her way. She may never ask, but she’ll be grateful you did.

Listen to “How Do I Revive a Stale Marriage?” on The Marriage Mentor Podcast now. Have a question you’d like us to answer on the show? Email jolene@joleneengle.com or DM me on Instagram or Facebook.

Live a poured-out life,

Jolene Engle