How to Get on the Same Page as a Couple
Off kilter. Leading separate lives. No vision for your family life. All of these issues can cause you and your husband to disconnect. This is what one wife is dealing with in her marriage. Here’s her story…
Dear Jolene,
How do my husband and I get on the same page? We seem to disconnect at times and it causes a drift between us.
Got a question for me? Here are the guidelines…
- Keep your message short and sweet because you only have 90 seconds to record your question.
- Please leave your name and where you’re from. If you’d like to remain anonymous, you can say you’re Sue from Oregon even though you’re really Jane from California! Yeah, I’m sly like that. I’ve got you covered, sister!
- If applicable, please let me know if your husband is a believer or not.
- Only ask one question per recording. If you have another question, please record another message.
- Rude, offensive, and snarky questions will not be addressed. They will be deleted, thank you very much!
- Please keep in mind that your recorded message will most likely be used on my podcast, therefore, you are agreeing to my terms of use.
For more podcast episodes and to subscribe to our show, you can do so here.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
Jolene Engle
Hi Jolene, love your podcasts! I listen to them as soon as they come out. Loved your suggestion about couch time. My husband and I have coffee time. We are both morning people and generally wake up an hour before we really need to get going. This is our time to be together. We drink our coffee in his office, watch the news, talk about daily goals, weekly goals, kids, our farm. once in a while, there are mornings that I don’t feel like getting up, and he will come up and get me! It’s an important part of the day, even though we are in jammies and have not brushed teeth yet.
LOVED hearing about how intentional and disciplined you are to connect with your husband, Becky! Intentionality is SO important for a marriage to thrive. Well done, girlfriend!
This was a great podcast for me to listen to today because this is something I feel like my husband and I have been struggling with for a while. Before we got married, he seemed to have such vision and dreams for what he wanted to do for the Lord. After marriage, we got bogged down with debt and the “every day American dream” that I feel as though we’ve strayed far from what each of us want. The more income he made, the “better” we upped our lifestyle (rather than just being content where we were and paying off student loans ASAP). We both desire to be debt-free (maybe me more than him), but the fact that we just bought a house (that we really didn’t need) did not help our goals… now I feel more overwhelmed and drowning, further and further from the possibility of being debt-free and the availability to be readily used by God wherever He would have us go.
I’ve talked to my husband about my fears and desires in this area so many times, and he says he agrees, but I don’t see him taking any necessary action to move us out of this mess and more in line with what we wanted for our future before we married. I don’t want to nag him or constantly bring this up… but without a plan, goals, and taking steps to reach those goals, we’ll never get anywhere! He is a very laid back person who just kind of goes with the flow… I feel as though I have a lot of influence in his life (as I simply had to say, let’s buy this house or let’s find a new job for you so we don’t have to live in this state anymore far from our church and my family)… he is so willing to just follow my suggestions, that I feel like I got us into our mess, maybe even BECAUSE I was leading instead of letting him… but that’s just the thing – I feel like if I wasn’t trying to lead, we wouldn’t go anywhere!
How do I differentiate between being submissive and allowing him to bring up changes/ideas/goals/make decisions… versus just trying to get him to think about our future because I really believe if I just sit here and do nothing, neither will he…