The Ministry of Wifehood…are you putting it first?
What’s my calling in life?
It seems like I hear this question often amongst followers of Christ.
If you don’t happen to know what your calling is and you’re a wife, I’ll give you some help.
Your calling (and mine) is to be a wife who brings God glory. (And if you’re a single woman, it’s to bring God glory through your singleness.)
What’s not so simple is getting sidetracked by everything else that comes our way…as God-honoring as it may be!
[ctt title=”Other than being a woman who follows hard after Jesus, don\’t put any other pursuit before wifehood.” tweet=”Other than being a woman who follows hard after Jesus, don’t put any other pursuit before wifehood. @joleneengle” coverup=”z811f”]
Maybe you have a burning passion to reach the lost. Great. Keep first things first. Don’t run off to minister to others if you’ve neglected your first ministry, which is wifehood. I can’t say this enough because I see it happen all. the. time!
And, I’ve been there. My wifehood journey has gotten sidetracked quite often.
I got sidetracked when I became a mom for the first time. It happens to all new mamas.
I got sidetracked again when I started homeschooling my boys. It’s so simple to have the urgency of today as well as the demanding to-do lists crowding out our first ministry.
I got sidetracked when I led Bible studies at my old church. The women needed me and many times my marriage when on auto-pilot.
I got sidetracked when I was trying to restore my body back to health for over a decade. At some point, I realized my health was consuming my life. Things needed to change because I didn’t want my relationships to suffer.
More times than I care to remember, the ministry here has pulled me in 50 million different directions. And guess what? Time and time again, I got sidetracked from my first ministry, which is wifehood–not motherhood, not a career, nor outside ministry.
Through the power of God’s word, your view of wifehood can be transformed from ho-hum and lackluster, (if that’s where you’re at) to being something fulfilling, beautiful, and quite radical to our culture. Your ministry of wifehood can change the world, starting with just one man, and then impacting your children, and then your circle of influence.
Do’s of Wifehood
- Embrace your first ministry.
- Be intentional to prioritize it and protect it.
- Keep regrouping and re-shifting your schedule as needed.
- Say no to others so you can say yes to wifehood. You’ll appreciate the seeds you have sown into your marriage.
Don’t’s of Wifehood
- Other than being a woman who follows hard after Jesus, don’t put any other pursuit before wifehood.
- Don’t put another commitment on your plate unless you feel like your marriage is growing rather than growing stagnant.
- For the love of dark chocolate, don’t put your children before your marriage. Our kiddos need to see mom and dad fully committed and loving on one another. It provides them with a sense of security and it shows them what a Christ-centered marriage looks like. Be the kind of wife who keeps her relationships in biblical order.
You and I made the choice to have wifehood as our calling when we said yes to our men, when we put on our beautiful wedding dress and walked down the aisle. We made the choice to be wives, so let’s honor the Lord with our choice by living out the ministry of wifehood.
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. Galatians 6:7
We can’t expect to have a thriving, vibrant, and God-honoring marriage when we don’t spend the time cultivating one.
So, what specifics can you add to my list of do’s and don’t’s of wifehood? Please share in the comments.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
I am working on living in harmony as much as it depends on me. To stop taking offense and to do self care so I can care for my husband.
Prayer! Praying for what I feel needs to change rather than nagging about it.
Plus getting up and being available for him to pray over our marriage before he leaves at 5:30 am
This means getting to bed early !
Thank you for this reminder. Would live to see other suggestion especially around anger and frustration with unmet need.
Oh, I love your list. Thanks for sharing it!
Anger & frustration with unmet needs…I’ll have to think on that and maybe write a blog post on it in the future.
I wanted to thank you for your obedience to Christ and doing this Ministry. Thank you for not missing your calling. So many times I have greatly appreciated your insights that are biblically sounds. All to often I find myself neglecting my relationship with Christ and my husband. My heart has become cold and hard. I have needed to hear what you have been saying. I know we use the same guide/handbook (the bible. I just really appreciate the way you have already dug through the word and pinpointed all the great things God has to share about our relationship with him and our husbands. So, Thank you.
Thank you for your sweet words. To God be the glory. Keep asking for wisdom and keep seeking Him. He’ll gladly give it to you!
Thank you for this reminder. I keep praying for the Lord to change me. I seem to get bogged down with the daily hurts which only increases my bitterness. If I can only focus on my purpose as a wife then I will get past the hurts.
Pam, you hit the nail right on it’s head with the whole bitterness thing! Yes, yes, and yes, keep focusing on what God is asking of you. When I’m more focused on me and my shortcomings and sins, I’m focusing less on Eric and his shortcomings.
You are Biblically correct: outside my relationship with Jesus Christ, nothing else is more important than my relationship with my husband. However, I struggle to find balance when he will not allow me to be his help meet. He doesn’t want Biblical advice (given at the proper time with the proper attitude); or healthy meals served on schedule; or a reminder that such-and-such tv show should possibly not be on when the children are home; or regular attendance to church; or Godly music in the home: or… For now, my being the Godly wife entails praying and staying strong in my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. My hands are tied, but my prayer life is not! God is good!
Hi there. I read your reply and my heart went out to you and I wanted to share a book I’ve just finished reading. “Moving Beyond The Myths” by Jan Silvious. This book has changed my outlook on how I view my relationships as well as personal growth with our Lord, Jesus Christ. The reason your reply spoke to me reminded me of a chapter Jan writes about called “The Myth of Everything Is As It Seems.” In the middle of the chapeter she writes Proverbs 14:12-13. Please read this book as it will enlighten and bring truth and understand for your marriage and family. God Bless…
I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Do your best to keep your eyes on your walk with the Lord. Just love on your man and respect him in the process. You can always ask him how he’d like you to help him.
I can so very much relate to your situation. Stay strong, God is faithful.
Kierra, maybe start writing a journal. Write to God all you are greatful for your sorrows your dreams. I startet doing that, it kind of helps me.
This is a GREAT read!! Often times as a minister’s wife, I have gotten sidetracked by thinking that working at the church was supporting my husbands ministry and being a good wife. It was really a hindrance to our marriage because we never got to spend time together and I was too tired for the intimacy that he so needed. I had to reorganize myself and focus on my husband and his needs at home first and everything else fell into place and to put the icing on the cake, I’m a lot less stressed because I have relinquished duties that I really didn’t have to take on! Glory to God!
I can imagine the additional stress you were living with, LaToya! Glad to hear you’ve reorganized your life so you can enjoy that man of yours!
One of my go to books is The Power of the Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. I like to put paper clips on each prayer page so that it can be flipped to at any moment. It is a great tool for learning how to properly pray for our husbands. I prefer to pray out loud throughout the day. Prayer is our most powerful tool. Even when we feel that we are in the right and our spouse is in the wrong we can find help in praying for ourselves to change. Maybe it is our reaction that needs to be mended. This advice is given in the book as well. This is another great article, Jolene. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Thanks for sharing this resource, Shawn. Great point you’ve made about our reactions!
For the men, is there a ministry of husbandhood? I understand the premise, but something in this post, just doesn’t sit right with me. I believe in living a sold out life for Christ, and I know that other things can take over being a wife and that they shouldn’t. But to say that my sole purpose in life after following Christ is to be a good wife, that leaves me questioning. Perhaps I need more scriptural support?
I hear you, Nylse! I use to have those same thoughts until I read the scriptures. I want my marriage according to God’s way and not my own, therefore, for the last 18 years of being marriage, I’ve had to intentionally put wifehood first except before my relationship with Christ of course.
Here are some verses that helped me with this perspective.
God saw that it wasn’t a good thing for Adam to be alone so He created Eve for him. We exist first and foremost to glorify God and then we need to look at our roles in life. Seeing how I answered the call to be a wife, I am my husband’s help meet (or helper depending on the version of the Bible you’re reading). Genesis 2:18
We’re one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Our marriages are to reflect Christ and the Church. My role as a wife needs to be prioritized so I can reflect this mission.
The Apostle Paul said the following,
“But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife.”(or in our case, our husband) 🙂 1 Cor. 7:32-33
The Proverbs 31 verses applying to being an excellent and virtuous wife.
You can find more scriptures here. http://joleneengle.com/two-crucial-reasons-to-prioritize-wifehood/
And for the husbands…
“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her” (Ephesians 5:25) This is the verse that Christian husbands should embrace for husbandhood! 🙂
I hope this helps!
To trust and honor your husband. Be ready to completely allow one self to give up control and allow your husband to lead with God’s purpose and guidance. Be completely understanding if he makes an error and pray for him through Christ. AND don’t whine or nag your husband about the little things in life like the plumbing failing or the kids are running awry. Pray to our Lord for these types of things ask Him for assistance with these matters.
Wonderful tips, Christina. All of these things will make for a stronger marriage. Thankfully we have the Holy Spirit that will empower us to do these things because we could never do them in our own strength!
Thank you Jolene for the truth in your posts. I am learning this as a wife of 6 years. I am always thinking that I am somehow failing God that I’m not doing “bigger” things than wifehood. But that’s a lie! Like you said, the Glory God will get from one man (our husbands) and then our children. I am very happy that the Lord has opened my eyes to this truth and like you said “we need to re shift when things come up” to put our wifehood first.
What a blessing to hear you’re making a choice to prioritize your marriage, Kay! Yeah, we just need to be wise and discerning to not buy into the lie that we can have it all and do it all. Because we can’t. Something will give. And usually that something is me and my sweet and loving attitude that will go straight out the window when I have too much on my plate! I can easily tear down my home in 2 seconds if I’m not careful.
This was an amazing blog. It definitely reminded me to re prioritize my day and schedule.
Thank you for these thoughts. A great encouragement while I try to figure out what to do during this time of no-children-yet. when we have children I would like to be a stay at home mom. But no children yet and I’m still in college. As I write this I just though maybe God is holding off blessing us with children until my schooling is done. But anyway, even with going to college and pursuing a music career my husband is first priority.
you never explained WHAT wifehood is….are you talking about sex??
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