How to Not Lose Sight of the One You Love
It was 19 years ago that Eric and I went on our first date. After I had gotten off of work, I met up with him at the local county fair. Not thinking much about our so-called date, you can imagine how surprised I was to learn that this man that I strolled through the fairgrounds with was exactly the type of man I had been praying for and looking for. 6 months later we got married.
Printed on our wedding invitation was the popular scripture from the Song of Songs 3:4, “I found the one I love.”
But the rest of this verse is so easily overlooked once the mundane or the hard seasons of life come crashing down on a couple.
I held him and would not let him go. Song of Songs 3:4
It’s easy to let go of the one you love. In fact, it takes no effort at all for this to happen.
From the minute the happy couple utters the words, “I Do,” their marriage is either headed for divorce or a platonic marriage. And here are 4 reasons why.
1.The emotional high, those gushing feelings of, “I want to spend every waking moment with you”, will dissipate over time.
This is normal. Every couple goes through the newness of being ‘in love’. But as time goes on and the newness wears off, every couple needs to embrace doing love. Love is a choice. It’s an action. Not a feeling.
2. We married a sinner.
I fall short every day as does my husband. I can either expect my marriage and my husband to be perfect, which means I’m delusional. Or I can expect imperfections and learn to do wifehood with a gracious spirit. I can either blame God or my husband when my marriage doesn’t meet my expectations or I can do what God has called me to do as a wife. It’s my choice. And it’s your choice.
3. Satan wants to destroy our marriages.
He wants you to say, “I’m not in love with my husband anymore.” Satan wants you to buy his lie that love is a feeling, not a choice.
He wants you to hold a grudge and be bitter toward your guy instead of being forgiving and Christ-like.
He wants you to put your children before your husband. Any mama knows this isn’t hard to do.
Satan wants you to be so consumed with life, your pursuits, and your to-do lists, that your love story will get placed up on a shelf covered in dust and forgotten.
4. We unintentionally neglect our marriages.
The idea of cultivating a loving and lasting marriage did not cross my mind as a young bride. Maybe it hasn’t crossed yours, either?
And what does cultivating a loving and lasting marriage even look like? How does a wife even go about this pursuit?
I’ll give you a few hints on this one.
- A loving and lasting marriage requires work.
- A loving and lasting marriage requires wisdom.
Last week my husband and I had plans to stir up our love story by strolling down memory lane. We were heading back to the place where we had our first date. I was excited to go. To be with the one my soul loves. My Beloved as I refer to him. But instead of going on a date with my man, I was at home vomiting all day long. Yes, life happens.
Whether your love story is filled with pages of disappointment or it has become a snoozer of a book that you’ve put down and tossed aside, it’s never too late to stir up your love for one another.
Maybe you’ve lost sight of the one you love? That’s okay. We all do from time to time. I’ll show you how to recapture it, that is, if your marriage is important to you!
How important is your marriage to you? Do you just want to survive in it or do you want your marriage to thrive? If you’ve said yes to having a thriving marriage, then join me for some mentoring in your marriage!
You can do so in our private, virtual mentoring community. Just click the image below to find out more!
Recent teachings:
Happy new month ma”am. pls I need u to give a Godly advise on what am about to tell u. My wedding is coming up on December and before now I notice dat d man I want to get married to is having a very serious relationship with some woman of which I know too well day dis lady in question dose not know dat himself is planing to get married. She may knw by am not sure wht shud I do pls regarding his infidelity.?
Mercy, I know I’m not Jolene, but I suggest that you break off the engagement. He has already cheated on you and is not likely to stop. It would be best for you to get out now BEFORE you get married. It’s easier to break an engagement than it is to get a divorce later. And a lot cheaper! Praying for you.
Yup, I agree. Break up with him. The man lacks integrity. Thanks for chiming in, Lisa!
This email came at the right time and I’m so excited about the conference coming up. I hope to attend it I think it would be very helpful, and something I need.
Glad to hear you were blessed by this, Misty. To God be the glory!
Hello maa’m. Found out few days ago that my husband had an affair that led to sex when he traveled. I’ve been suspicious of it cos he chats a lot with ladies and requests nude pictures which they all send to him. I have complained on many occasions and he promises to stop but hasn’t until I found out this recent sex. I know I should forgive him but how can it all go back to how it was before all of this? The trust is gone and even when he’s apologized I doubt his sincerity. I believe it will still happen again and I won’t know how to feel if thunder strikes twice in the same place. Pls advise on what I should do. Many thanks
I know I’m not Jolene, but I would advise not only separation but divorce. You say he chats a lot with ladies and requests nude pictures which they send him. If you doubt his sincerity when he’s apologized then he probably wasn’t sincere. It was probably just to clear his conscience. If you are able to health-wise and financially, I would again recommend divorce. He’s cheated once, and he isn’t likely to stop.
I think one thing people forget is that they married a sinner. Josh and I talk frequently about how we cannot be each other’s saviors. We are both sinners and will fail each other. This is why it’s so vital to put Christ first and to remember that HE is our savior NOT our spouses. Love these words Jolene!
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