It was 19 years ago that Eric and I went on our first date. After I had gotten off of work, I met up with him at the local county fair. Not thinking much about our so-called date, you can imagine how surprised I was to learn that this man that I strolled through the fairgrounds with was exactly the type of man I had been praying for and looking for. 6 months later we got married.
Printed on our wedding invitation was the popular scripture from the Song of Songs 3:4, “I found the one I love.”
But the rest of this verse is so easily overlooked once the mundane or the hard seasons of life come crashing down on a couple.
I held him and would not let him go. Song of Songs 3:4
It’s easy to let go of the one you love. In fact, it takes no effort at all for this to happen.
From the minute the happy couple utters the words, “I Do,” their marriage is either headed for divorce or a platonic marriage. And here are 4 reasons why.
1.The emotional high, those gushing feelings of, “I want to spend every waking moment with you”, will dissipate over time.
This is normal. Every couple goes through the newness of being ‘in love’. But as time goes on and the newness wears off, every couple needs to embrace doing love. Love is a choice. It’s an action. Not a feeling.
2. We married a sinner.
I fall short every day as does my husband. I can either expect my marriage and my husband to be perfect, which means I’m delusional. Or I can expect imperfections and learn to do wifehood with a gracious spirit. I can either blame God or my husband when my marriage doesn’t meet my expectations or I can do what God has called me to do as a wife. It’s my choice. And it’s your choice.
3. Satan wants to destroy our marriages.
He wants you to say, “I’m not in love with my husband anymore.” Satan wants you to buy his lie that love is a feeling, not a choice.
He wants you to hold a grudge and be bitter toward your guy instead of being forgiving and Christ-like.
He wants you to put your children before your husband. Any mama knows this isn’t hard to do.
Satan wants you to be so consumed with life, your pursuits, and your to-do lists, that your love story will get placed up on a shelf covered in dust and forgotten.
4. We unintentionally neglect our marriages.
The idea of cultivating a loving and lasting marriage did not cross my mind as a young bride. Maybe it hasn’t crossed yours, either?
And what does cultivating a loving and lasting marriage even look like? How does a wife even go about this pursuit?
I’ll give you a few hints on this one.
- A loving and lasting marriage requires work.
- A loving and lasting marriage requires wisdom.
Last week my husband and I had plans to stir up our love story by strolling down memory lane. We were heading back to the place where we had our first date. I was excited to go. To be with the one my soul loves. My Beloved as I refer to him. But instead of going on a date with my man, I was at home vomiting all day long. Yes, life happens.
Whether your love story is filled with pages of disappointment or it has become a snoozer of a book that you’ve put down and tossed aside, it’s never too late to stir up your love for one another.
How important is your marriage to you? Do you just want to survive in it or do you want your marriage to thrive? If you’ve said yes to having a thriving marriage, then join me for some mentoring in your marriage!