The Day I Chucked My Bible Across the Room
It was a season of my life when I was unemployed, going on one job interview after another only to hear that I was either overqualified for the job or I was their second choice. I was always thrilled to hear those words.
As a new Believer, each time I headed into an interview I would pray for God’s will…because honestly, I didn’t know what else to pray for. I didn’t have wisdom and I didn’t even know what the word ‘discernment’ was, in fact, I’m sure I never heard the word before.
So my simple prayer to a Savior I hardly knew was this,
“Lord, if this is the job you want me to have then I pray my interview goes well. If you don’t want me to have this job, then please shut the door to this opportunity.” (I know, what a deep, theological, praying giant I was. Try not to be jealous. :))
Well, God shut many doors for me, meaning, I exhausted all my employment opportunities, well, all but one, and it was the one job I didn’t want to have but it’s the one the Lord gave me. Looking back to that time, which was well over 16 years ago, I can see how the Lord protected me and gave me the job that was best for me in order to grow in Him. He always has a great plan for us even if we can’t see it.
But during those months of job interviews let’s just say my disposition was less than happy and peaceful as a new Christian. At that time of my life I was a career woman, and I was good at it. In fact, I prided myself in how talented I was in the business world. So I just couldn’t understand why I wasn’t landing any of the jobs! Hmmm, sounds like the Lord needed me to eat some humble pie, now doesn’t it? Yes, that was certainly the case, but I didn’t have the spiritual maturity to realize that. What I saw from my perspective was discouragement and fear of the unknown. Fear being that I was short on cash and discouraged because I was running out of job opportunities.
So I wondered….where was my God in all of this?
Yeah, yeah, I know I prayed for the job that the Lord wanted me to have, but it’s not like I really knew how painful the process was going to be! And I wasn’t privy to witnessing too many of God’s miracles during my early months of walking with Him. Basically, I didn’t know how this whole ‘faith’ thing worked.
After much uncertainty in the job market and now questioning my God, I sat on my bed one day reading my Bible because that’s what a Christian should do when you’re needing peace, comfort and direction, right? But, that’s not necessarily what I felt I found that day in the Word of God. When I read the following verses, the last thing that transpired in my mind was peace and direction.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. James 1:2,3
What? Pure joy? Why would I find trials joyful? I thought that was the dumbest thing I had ever read! So in my flesh-filled state, I hurled my Bible across the room. I chucked it hard. It hit the wall and then landed on the floor with the pages all crumpled. Yes, I was a born-again Christian who threw her Bible because I was angry at what I read in there!
Those verses in James made absolutely NO sense to me. (But now they make complete sense.)
During my season as a new Believer, the following were things I was lacking in my spiritual walk:
And let’s not forget reverence for the Lord. By the way, I haven’t thrown my Bible since then, I promise! 🙂 In fact, my Bible is precious to me. After all these years I still have the same one. Of course it’s a little beat up…being thrown and all.
Maybe you can relate to this story? Perhaps you feel a little lost in following the Lord? Well, let me tell you I do understand! I do know where you’re coming from because I’ve been to that town as well.
But there is hope, my sweet friend! Our God knows all things and He is more than willing to show us and guide us into all truth, that is, if we’re hungry for His truth!
For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness. Psalm 107:9
Stay in the Word so your faith will grow.
So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17
Soon I’ll share with you my story of how I was dumber than a hammer and then how the Lord gave me a bit of His wisdom. And if you feel your brain happens to resemble a tool from the tool shed, then my encouragement to you would be to remain diligent in pursing the Lord because He gives wisdom to those who ask!
Stay with me on this journey because my heart is to equip you to grow in your faith and to increase in wisdom!
Live a poured out life for Christ,
Oh how tough the Bible can be to swallow sometimes, but still how true it is. Today has been one of those days.
You got that right, Jess! Boy, did I sure have a hard time chewing on the Truth as a new Believer! Thankfully I learned to surrender my will to the Lord early on in my walk!
Be encouraged, tomorrow is another day and your Savior is always with you!
I was just thinking about the day that I threw mine across the room, and came on here to blog about it when your post was at the top of my list of blogs I haven’t yet read today. Now, after reading yours I may just save mine for tomorrow, and think on it some more.
The song Blessings by Laura Story has not left my mind in days, and while the situations that brought us to that point are different, I more than can understand what you are describing as I went through the same thing a few years back, and can say with certainty that it’s hard to find faith in a place where everything seems like a constant uphill battle, and options are running out, but sometimes as you have stated that is God’s will for us, because he is trying to show us something.
Great post, I enjoyed reading it.
That’s just plain funny, another woman who throws her Bible! (This is NOT something I recommend by the way!)
I was thinking of Laura Story’s song as well today, especially since I heard it too! But my trial way back then was nothing compared to what I’ve gone through over the years, so I refrained from sharing it in this post. Her song always ministers to me as I reflect back on a time in my life I went through some serious valleys.
Yep, God’s will for our lives will sometimes just plain hurt our flesh! But our soul will grow deeper into the heart of our Savior. And that, my friend, is priceless!
Thanks for being so open. I have those feelings some days…then God puts me a position where I truly need him, no matter how mad I may be with Him (yes Him). Some days I want to say screw the Word because I am just that upset that my life isn’t parallel to the scriptures. And partly I am paying too much attention to the world (flesh) and I get irritated. I have to remind myself that He does not operate in flesh, so I have tune it out (it’s just a distraction) But my faith always brings me back. Glad to know there are others who go through the same things.
Laura Story’s song is on my mind also. I am a fairly new Christian and there are days that I wonder why.
Thank you so much for this post. I am lacking patience and discernment. I am three weeks away from my temp job being done, not hearing anything about them keeping me, my hubby is probably four weeks away from even starting to look for work, and cash is very tight. I am tired, discouraged, and losing faith. I want to fix it all myself. I really don’t want to work, I want to go back to being home and homeschooling my daughter by myself. Yes, I am in the middle of a horrible pity party.
I really needed this today. No, I haven’t thrown my bible. LOL That did make me laugh. I could imagine throwing it.
Have a blessed day.
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