1. Jolene, well said! Great points and every words written is amazing! 🙂 I actually can relate to this… learn to forgive and love! When I feel bitter at times of the things my Godly spouse committed in the past, I always read 2 Corinthians 2:5-11, this truly helps me to give forgiveness to the offender with an open mind and heart.
    “What God united let no man separates…”
    Visiting you from the Happy Wives Club Link Up.

  2. Jolene, this is excellent advice! I agree that forgiveness is absolutely the most essential ingredient in any marriage.

    However, I feel like your post was almost entirely about how the husband has to forgive his wife in this situation, and not what the wife’s responsibility is. Now, I agree completely that this husband needs to forgive his wife and not hold her past sins against her. However, that does not mean that the trust will be restored in the relationship right away. From what the wife shared, she has done a lot to break her husband’s trust. He has seen her pattern of behavior in the past and it makes sense to assume that she could mess up again.

    Does that justify his behavior (name-calling, etc.)? No, of course not. But this wife has responsibility here too. She absolutely needs to repair the trust she broke. That will take a long time, because her husband will have to see over a period of time that she will not be unfaithful to him again in any way, either physically or emotionally. It would be wise for her to have very little interaction with men other than her husband until he can fully trust her once again. She has messed up; she needs to work on her part of this. Of course he needs to forgive her too. But to make a marriage work it always takes both partners giving 100%.

    1. Just wanted to add, the reader specifically asked what she can do to help her husband see that she’s not the person she was. Simple answer to that: don’t be that person anymore, and show him you’re trustworthy by your actions. Give him every reason to trust you and don’t betray his trust again.

    2. Hi Jaimie,
      I understand your concern. I felt the woman who wrote in was dealing with condemnation from her husband rather than how does she start to build trust again. I have links within this post to point her to becoming a virtuous and trustworthy wife just in case she needed that encouragement as well.:) Sometimes we know where we’ve screwed up and we know how to change but maybe our spouse is having a hard time with letting go of our past?? That is the slant I took with this post. Thanks for sharing.

  3. I’m the one struggling to forgive in our marriage. As God has brought to a place where I can trust Him with my worries, stresses, and fears, and as I’ve come to understand my identity in Christ, my husband has retreated, going so far as to consider divorcing me. This has been difficult to forgive. I’ve prayed and prayed for understanding, and what God has done is help me to really rely on Him, not myself, or my husband. I never really understood what that meant until it just happened one day. Now, I’m not as self-righteous with my husband. I’m not trying to point out all the ways he’s hurt me and broken my trust. I just want our marriage to be healed, and I will own my actions regardless of his willingness to own his. I still feel fear on occasion, that he will decide to leave me anyway, but I understand now that there is nothing I can do to change that if it does happen. It’s all in God’s hands. It’s freeing.

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