Living in a Difficult Marriage

Are you living in a downright difficult marriage?  Perhaps your husband is unloving, uncaring, non-responsive, and cruel towards you?  Some of these husbands even claim to be Believers, men who have made a decision to give their hearts to the Lord, yet something isn’t right about their lives.  There seems to be no evidence of spiritual fruit in their walk.

“You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles?  “Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.  “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.  Matt. 7:16-18

These men live in such a way that their actions and attitudes towards their wives (and even their children) are unbecoming of a Christian husband and father.  (Now, I’m not referring to a man who is growing in Christ but is falling short as all men and women do, but a man whose heart is hardened towards his wife and his God.)

I’ve received email after email from women writing in, sharing their heartache and pain, not knowing what to do when their man is not obeying the Scriptures or when he’s not looking to change for the better.

If you have a difficult marriage where you’re living with a cold, angry, or heartless man (whether he’s saved or not), I’ve put together this post to serve as a resource in hopes that it’ll minister to you in your current circumstances.

Living in a Difficult Marriage

8 Earmarks of a Christian Husband by Jolene Engle

The Backbone of a Submissive Wife by Eric Engle

Help!  I’m Married to an Unrepentant Husband by Jolene Engle

Hope for a Hurting Marriage by Jolene Engle

When a Husband Makes Poor Choices by Jolene Engle

How to Respectfully Communicate Your Needs to Your Husband by Jolene Engle

Living With an Angry, Abusive, or Violent Spouse by FamilyLife

Responding to Physical Abuse by FamilyLife

And check out this series by me:  When a Husband Isn’t Loving His Wife with Christ-Like Love.  You’ll find a few more posts here that may help minister to you in your situation.

Regardless of your circumstances, ultimately, the only person you can change is you.

You can’t change your husband’s heart.

You can’t make him love you.

You can’t make him more considerate and caring.

You can’t make him spiritually lead your family.

You can’t even make him get saved if he’s an unbeliever.

All of these areas belong to the workings of the Holy Spirit.

The role of the wife (regardless of the state of her marriage) is to make sure you pursue godliness.

Should you pray for your husband?  Absolutely!

Should you be obedient to the Scriptures?  Absolutely!

Should you protect yourself and your children if you’re being physically, emotionally, and mentally abused?  Absolutely!

In the meantime, you live in such a way that is pleasing to the Lord, regardless of what your husband says or does.  When your time here on earth is over, there is only one person that you will stand before and give an account of your life, and that person is Jesus Christ.

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.  1 Peter 3:1,2 NLT

This verse does not mean you should become a doormat!

Live a poured-out life for Christ,

Jolene Engle