In my opinion, casual dating or dating for fun, as I like to call it, is a lose-lose situation. I believe it can cause lots of baggage to your future marriage; suitcase after suitcase filled with emotional, mental, physical and spiritual issues. Scars, rejection, comparisons, and perhaps even shame are brought into your life-long commitment with your future husband. Those things are hard to forget and overcome. But of course it could be done through our sweet Jesus! But wouldn’t you want to be as whole as possible for your most important earthly relationship?
I know this is a single series but I’m going to write a note to parents in hopes that the right marital foundation can be laid as early as possible!
My Beloved and I have made the decision that casual dating is not something our boys will participate in. We have taught them from a young age that when they are old enough to take a wife, then that is the time to date. In other words, date with the intention to marry. My man has a saying in our house and it goes something like this: “Why shop if you can’t buy.”
All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 1 Corinthians 6:12,13
- a wife is to respect her husband (Eph. 5:33)
- she is to submit to her man (Eph. 5:24)
- she is to give her body to him sexually and not deprive him (1 Cor. 7:5)
- the Bible says to be fruitful and multiply (Gen. 1:28)
- she is to love her children and train them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord (Titus 2:4, Pro. 22:6, Eph. 6,4)
- and she is to be a keeper at home (Titus 2:5)
- He has a heart for the Lord. You’ll see him pleasing the Lord with not just his words, but his actions as well.
- He puts the Lord first in his life. He’s concerned about his spiritual growth and well-being.
- He attends church on a regular basis. He goes without you prodding or asking him to go.
- He is more into your heart for the Lord rather than your outer appearance. He should ask you about your testimony or how you’re growing/serving the Lord. He wants to know about your spiritual pulse so expect him to ask these type of questions.
- He encourages you to grow in the Lord.
Next in this series I’ll discuss, who not to marry!
Also, can you please pass this post on to others that might benefit from it?
Prior posts on the Smitten for Him Single Series:
What Not to Settle for in Your Future Husband