1. I just mentored a young woman today who said the same thing to me. She said her husband doesn’t even like to be around him because she argues with him so much. I was the same way! I told her to stop arguing with him immediately. Do a word study on arguing and strife in the Bible. It is far from the heart of God. We are to pursue peace with ALL men, especially our husbands. I told her to begin smiling at her husband and be joyful! You must continue earning his love and men love joyful women. We are commanded by God to be joyful. Ask your husband what pleases him and start doing it and for sure, do not deprive him of sex. Strive to be a better wife than mother! For you were created to be his help meet. Ater telling her this, her eyes lit up and she was excited to start putting it into practice. Men respond SO quickly when their wives change their controlling and manipulative ways.

    1. I’m, by nature, a controlling person . Shame on me for continually caving in to my sinful desires! I work daily on these issues, because I want a marriage my Lord and husband would be proud of!

  2. Wow, I cannot begin to describe the clarity that just came to me by reading this . I truly understand a little better now of why sometimes it’s so hard. I not only learned more about our awesome God, I learned more about my own heart. Thanks so much!
    P.S. That whole “dying to self” thing will getchya if you don’t pay attention:-)

  3. Jolene,
    I can’t even tell you how this post hit home today. My husband and I were both in our mid-30’s when we married a little over a year ago, and we both were pretty set in our ways. I grew up in a Christian home, and my faith is very important to me, while he’s a fairly new Christian. This has led to many struggles already in our marriage, especially for me; as much as I want to be a Biblically-submissive wife, I keep finding myself arguing with him, and pushing him to test his faith in areas he’s not ready to test, just because I think he should . . . . God has been working on my heart in this area, and has brought numerous posts from some of my favorite marriage bloggers this week to help me and to convict me, and I thank you for your “cooperation” with God’s plan!

  4. Wonderful post. I liked the way you tied submission to your husband to submission to God. If we can’t submit to God, we can’t submit to anyone.

  5. How does a wife submit to her husband when he writes secret emails to his pastor about his intimate detailed sex life with me…surely that should be private between husband and wife…this is a pastor who had the cheek to call me a prostitute because I asked why my husband was filling up his fridge with food when ours was empty…?….submission…….?its over rated!… I think only when a husband deserves it……and certainly not when he belongs to a cult church that only see the dollar signs!…

    1. Hi Lisa,
      I’m so sorry for the behavior of your husband as well as your Pastor! Yes, your sex life should be kept private and your man should be treating you with respect and honor and loving you the way he’s commanded by God to do so. But just because he and the Pastor have skewed the concept of Biblical submission this does not mean it is skewed in God’s eyes. Here’s a post that might help you further on this topic: The Backbone of a Submissive Wife.

  6. Thanks for this article. I’m continuously checking my attitude concerning this issue. Are we supposed to submit in all things? In areas that we know are sin? Christian husband wants to engage in sexual sin with wife (threesome). Surely, I’m not supposed to give in to this?? What about when wife has submitted repeatedly to awful financial decisions made by husband and the family is in lots of debt now? Do I continue to go along with horrible judgment??

  7. To add to your thoughts (which were terrific!) on what every man wants, the book “Love and Respect” hits on this. A man needs respect like women need love (quick gist).
    Thanks for addressing a difficult subject.

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