1. Oh Tehila, I loved this … “As believers, we are Academy Award actors. We could get an Oscar for being radiant, shiny, happy people”. How many times I have done that. We used to try our best to look “We are a happy family”…but in truth it was hurting inside! But as you said one day God intervened. What I have now is His work..He restored my marriage!

    1. Praise the Lord, Sunu! That is so encouraging to hear. Whenever we would go into a public place, I’d always say to my husband, “Be lovey dovey to me!” I wanted that exterior impression that people got of our relationship to be something they would envy. How sinful that was of me! Amazingly, in the past few years since I’ve stopped saying it, my husband is far more affectionate to me in public than he ever has been before. It’s coming from his heart, and is a reflection of what the Lord is doing in us as individuals and as a married couple. When we drop the facades, the truth does come out, but isn’t that what we want? If we’re hurting, do we really want to go through it alone? We need the help, love, support, prayer, and encouragement of others, don’t we? Lovely to hear from you xx

  2. Tehlia, this was beautiful. I love your transparency. So many struggle with marriage and yet put the face of “everything’s great!” on in front of others. When things aren’t going great it helps to have the body of Christ surrounding us in prayer and encouragement to keep persevering.

    I really loved this quote from you…”because God knew that your specific husband would be the absolute best instrument to transform you into the image of His Son!”

    In my own personal experience, this couldn’t be more true. I only knew of God, but didn’t really know God or have a personal relationship with him until after I met my husband and saw his amazing faith in action during some of our difficult trials and seasons. I’m a completely different woman now as a result, totally passionate about following Christ. 🙂

    1. Boy I wish I knew how to edit comments. I’m so sorry for spelling your name wrong. Got those last few letters turned around. :/

      1. What a wonderful testimony you have, Rosann. God is clearly pleased with your humble heart… Thank you for sharing here xx

  3. Tehila,
    Such wisdom in this post! Thank you so much for your transparent and provoking advice. In order for God to receive all the glory He deserves, we must be willing to share how bad it was or His goodness wont shine as brightly. It reminds me of a Puritan Prayer from the book titled, Valley of Vision:
    “Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision, where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory. Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up, that to be low is to be high, that the broken heart is the healed heart, that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit, that the repenting soul is the victorious soul, that to have nothing is to possess all, that to bear the cross is to wear the crown, that to give is to receive, that the valley is the place of vision. Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine; let me find Thy light in my darkness, Thy life in my death, Thy joy in my sorrow, Thy grace in my sin, Thy riches in my poverty, Thy glory in my valley.”
    Thank you for giving me fresh Truth to meditate on this morning!

  4. This really hit home with my heart!!! Thank you for this awesome wisdom and showing me that it’s ok to be real and transparent! God bless you!

  5. Tehila…My favorite line: “He has chosen that very man you married for you, because God knew that your specific husband would be the absolute best instrument to transform you into the image of His Son!” God is awesome and so amazing, isn’t He? Who said being conformed into the likeness of His Son would be easy? And marriage is definitely one area we are always growing in to be transformed. Thank you for the encouragement today.

    1. Totally agree with you, Naomi! Wise words… It’s not always comfortable when God works in us through our spouse, but it’s necessary in our own process of sanctification. God bless you, sister!

  6. Tehila,
    Thanks for opening your heart to us in this post! I was blessed by reading it. Charles and I have been learning and focusing on the AMAZING truth we are finally realizing about marriage: That God uses marriage to make us more like him, and our first goal should be to try and be holy, not happy! AND whatever we do to our spouse we are doing to Jesus…so it better be all things loving. 🙂 I wish more people were more open about their every day struggles in the marriage journey. What freedom it would bring! I love you friend! Thanks for allowing God to use you to share with others.

    1. Oh you sweet thing! Thank you for your beautiful comment and encouragement. I totally agree with you. I have found that when I am open about my marriage, or anything really, then others follow suit and feel more comfortable to share things that would otherwise be hidden and withheld. God bless you beautiful friend! xxx

  7. Our closest relationships are no doubt the ones God uses to do the most work in us. It’s easy to put on that “everything’s fine” facade because in some ways I think we convince ourselves it is. Until one day you realize it’s really not okay. That happened to my husband and I. It was eye-opening and the beginning of a difficult journey to live out our marriage as God intended. But with all thanks to God, we are certainly in a much better place in our marriage. Thanks for the encouragement to be transparent so others can see God’s work in our lives and for sharing how He’s worked in yours.

  8. Oh my sweet friend, what a wonderful testimony. I never saw it like that where we need to share openly about our marriages so God can be glorified. It is so precious to weather the years with the same man. I do mean weather. As time goes on our marriage mellows into a beautiful relationship.

  9. Such a great post, and the hard work really is worth it. I think the longer you’re married too, the easier it comes to trust the other person is going to be there for you no matter what. 🙂

    I am a firm believer in divine intervention too, when you ask for it. 🙂 Have a great weekend and thank you for linking up to Super Sunday Sync.

  10. This was a really tough one for my husband… in his home there was absolutely no arguing. His parents simply grew apart and the first hint he had of any trouble was when they divorced. In his mind, any argument equalled a dissolution of the marriage. It took several years for him not to respond to each and every disagreement with “Okay, so you’re throwing me out now”…. it was so frustrating! He’s slowly getting a little better (and I have a much better understanding of where he is coming from!)

  11. The truth, through confession, to those we trust and who have our best at heart can be so healing, Tehila! I’m so glad you made the hard choice to be authentic and face the areas that needed strengthening and yielding to Christ. And I love how you’ve challenged us to focus on the ways we’ve improved and grown as spouses in our marriages. There’s so much that we often take for granted that can keep us motivated, moving forward and persevering. Thanks again for inspiring us through your vulnerability here, my friend!

  12. Well done for writing this book and God Bless you!! I say this with all of my heart. Years ago I read a book called “Lord Change Me.” and it helped me so much. Yes, we can’t change the other person, but we can change ourselves. Selfishness is usually a problem in marriage, together with competitiveness. But partners should not compete, they should work together as a team, best friends and lovers. I will get your book…I don’t believe we know it all or can ever stop learning. Blessings from Oz.

  13. Two selfish immature persons can certainly cause a marriage to have problems. Early on I learned to be quiet when my husband was angry. I still am so quiet, but there are times when a wife must speak up. Recently I missed a golden opportunity and things went sour. Not for us but for other family members. God is able to heal the hurts as we walk in forgiveness each to the other. Thank you for sharing your beautiful post with us here at “Tell me a Story.”

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