23 Comments

  1. Christians are often the most horrid in attacking others because many don’t know that even many of their beliefs that they cling to out of ignorance or arrogance are lies from the enemy. When I receive criticism of this magnitude I remind myself that hurting people hurt others and that it’s the most wounded and desperate that are willing to leave their Christian roots to demolish another in any setting. The more attacked, usually the more your testimony is changing lives. Some criticism might be valid and bear truth but the enemy hits us with lies he wraps in just enough truth.

  2. I mentioned in a past comment how I was once living in rebellion to the truth in God’s Word regarding submission. This was largely because I didn’t have a correct understanding of what the Lord meant with this directive, but it was also because I just plain didn’t want to put aside my pride and obey God! And all this after the minister who married us spoke on the submission topic at our wedding! Because we Christians still live in a sinful world, we still believe lies and get upset when other believers try to point those lies out to us, even if it’s done in a very loving way. But here is me giving a big thank you to believers who did just that for me!! I would still be living in that place of deep frustration and downward-spiraling (in my marriage) because of my lack of obedience to God if it had not been for the timely advice of Godly women reaching out through the written word; a magazine, blogs (including this one!), and articles. So again, thank you Jolene! And please do not let the hurtful words of other believers ever stop you from this blessed calling that you are fulfilling so beautifully. You are an encouragement and a mentor to many. God IS using you! Thank you for your honesty and your hard-earned wisdom. God bless you!

    1. Hi Esther,
      Thank you for sharing your testimony! I love how God transformed your life when you surrendered to His plan. And then you brought me to tears with your sweet and encouraging words. Thank you, sister. The Lord knew what I needed to hear and He used you to bring that message.

  3. I am so sorry you had to go through this. As a new reader of your site, I love what you wrote in the submission post. I am too a very “thin-skinned” person, and I have been on the receiving side of very rude people – and here is what I do (don’t laugh 🙂 ) I picture us both in heaven, and I imagine them apologizing for any wrong they did, and if I had any sin issue in the matter, I apologize for my part, then we embrace in a hug and go on our separate ways. Sounds ridiculous, huh? It is just how I get over some situations since I tend to relive the negative moment over and over. I’m not sure how it would work with so many negative comments though 🙂 Good luck!

    1. Ashley, that sounds like a great idea! I think I’ll try it sometime. (I’m sure that will be in just a few short minutes. lol ) Oh wait, I mean seconds because there’s a comment coming in right now! 🙂
      Thanks for your encouraging words and welcome here!

  4. Jolene,

    I just stumbled upon your blog tonight from Pinterest. I have to tell you that it was a GOD thing that I was led to your website! Your singles series that you wrote was an answer to prayer and it was EXACTLY what I needed to read (I am almost 24 and single). Reading what you posted above, I felt God moved me to tell you that what you are doing here is absolutely a God send. You have been given a gift, and I am so thankful that this is what it is because it has helped me. Please, please, please don’t let the hurtful and mean comments by other people hinder you from getting on here and writing. What your son said is exactly right! Honestly, if those people really believed in God and have searched and read your stories like I have the past few hours, they would have no reason to make those incaccurate accusasions about you. In fact, I question whether they are really Believers, however, that is not for me to decide, but for God. Thank you for what you do, and thank you for being so honest and open. You are such an encouragement. May GOD continue to bless you!

  5. Jolene,
    Press on sister! Keep doing what the LORD instructs you to do. Love your blog. May God bless you and your family this year.

  6. Thank you. Thank you for being a willing vessel. I love the honesty that goes with your messages. It helps me realize I’m not alone so many times in thinking and actions of flesh and spirit. I am so grateful for the Lord’s grace to help me recognize my mistakes and grow from them. Thank you so very much for your willingness to share!

  7. You are so right in pointing out that unbelievers can’t understand The Truth, that it sounds like foolishness to them. That was a HUGE reminder for me. No wonder we don’t see eye to eye!
    I was raised by a very feminist mother and a RAGE-a-holic father, so I have not had Biblical character and perspective ingrained in me. My marriage is difficult, not b/c my husband is difficult, he’s so patient and loving. It’s b/c I’m difficult. I want to run everything. I don’t feel safe if I’m not in charge. I usually blow off posts about being submissive and such, even more than 20 years after placing my heart into the hands of a loving Lord.
    But Jolene, I’m going to save and review and chew on your post “Are You a Wife that’s Easy to Love?” It speaks to me, I just can’t take it all in at once. I’m being as sincere as I can, and crying as I write this. Thank you for caring enough and obeying enough to share the Truth. Our Lord must speak thru many different avenues to reach all the unique children he has created.

  8. I am a new follower to your blog, but the few posts I have read have left me uplifted and have left me wanting to know you as a person. In a way, I feel like you are a friend helping me get through some difficult times and giving me great advice. I think you are an amazing woman, and I think it’s ridiculous that people can be so rude. People will criticize anything, whether it’s because they are jealous, they don’t agree, or maybe they do agree but they are too scared to admit it. Stay strong, and thank you for continuing your posts!

  9. Thank you for writing this post. I had received harsh criticism and mean words just this morning. It’s amazing how words can rip a heart so much! I responded in calm, but, mostly, bit my tongue. My mind flooded with remarks and hateful responses, yet the Spirit was quick to reign my tongue (thankfully, as it would have just brought more pain and hurt)… I reached for my phone shortly after and saw your e-mail and post in my inbox. It made me smile to be reminded that not only am I not alone, but I can do the right thing by God. My reward is not just in heaven but on earth for not stirring up further issues.

    I am sorry for your hurt. You are loved and not alone. You are a shining example of a Proverbs 31 woman- never perfect, but always being perfected. Thank you for sharing your heart and life. It reaches who it needs to and how it needs to. It’s up to us to receive it how God intended, and not our flesh. You are a good & faithful servant.

    Thank you for making this morning madness a little easier! Laura

  10. I love your honesty and am saddened that you have been so affected by others comments. We Christians can often be the cruelest to each other. I find it baffling how people can come read a post, take one section/sentence/phrase in it and tear it apart or take it out of context. I also find it baffling how we in the marriage blogging world apparently need to preface all of our posts on things like submission (or divorce, as I’ve found) by literally reminding our readers that we aren’t talking about abusive relationships. When we make the claims, scriptural references or suggestions that we do, and then we are continually having to spend time creating disclaimers to our posts, it wastes valuable time talking about the real issues at hand. Obviously, no one is suggesting that people who are in abusive situations should create or continue to live in an environment that allows the abuse to continue. But, that just goes to show how misunderstood this topic is. Even among fellow Christians.
    I’m thankful that you are willing to talk about this issue of submission. Keep talking about it! Keep using your voice in a God-glorifying way! And, can’t wait to read your guide to biblical submission.

  11. Jolene,
    I just wanted to thank you for your blog and the things you share. As the days go by, it seems like the love of most is going cold. And to be a woman following Christ as the Bible teaches, can be so contrary to what “modern Christianity” teaches. I appreciate your honesty and the struggles and victories that you encounter. Out of all the blogs that I’ve come across the last few months, yours is a breath of fresh air. I acknowledge God’s wisdom and His truth that is poured out of you, but I also acknowledge and say thank you to you for being a willing and obedient vessel. It reminds me of the scripture in 2 Timothy 2:20-21. So, I encourage you to press on and persevere in sharing the Word that brings Light and Life to this dark world. 🙂 May the Lord bless you and strengthen you to complete the tasks He has prepared for you!
    Jordan

  12. I want to encourage you in our Lord Jolene. He is good, and His Word is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. It does not and will not change. Continue to lean on Him, trust in His Word, and believe it. He will never leave you, nor forsake you. He is good, and His will and His ways are always, always best. It took my pride a loooong time to learn that, and I am trying to teach those “younger” women the same, and maybe they will not struggle as long as we did. Continue on, press on toward the mark. In all of His love,
    Always Experiencing Him,
    Jody

  13. It took me a little while to find the post you were referencing, but I so respect you for tackling such a difficult subject in such a public way. I don’t know if I would have had quite the courage to publish that. There were some nasty comments, but there were also some really affirming comments.
    And this post is awesome! I am such a people pleaser – this is a really difficult thing for me. Thank you, and keep true to God’s Word.

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  15. I can only imagine how devastated you felt by unkind words and criticisms but I want to encourage you that you have been allowing God to do a great work through you and I thank Him for the men and women that stand up for the truth and righteousness amidst a perverse generation. Your honesty and practicality has been inspiring and a blessing Jolene!

    God strengthen and keep you always! Your son spoke words of wisdom…people call themselves Christians but are a poor testimony of it. According to Rom 2:24 “No wonder the Scriptures say, “The Gentiles blaspheme the name of God because of you.”

    James chapter 1: 2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

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