1. Jolene, Thank you for this. You are so wise and could easily be a counselor! I’m serious. I can’t wait to meet you in person.

    1. Shanda, you’re so cute. I’ll settle for the title of Daughter of the Most High God and a broken vessel for the Lord rather than a Counselor any day! Can’t wait to meet you as well!

  2. Hi Jolene – I love how you tackle issues head on! I think we need so much more of this kind of approach. Great post. Looking forward to your next post on this
    God bless

    1. Thanks Tracy!
      They’re not easy issues, but they are issues none the less. My heart is for women to grow in the Lord, not wither, and sometimes what we go through makes life so difficult. Jesus is always with us.

  3. Other reasons might be that he’s a morning person and she is a night person and he is just to tired when she is ready. Another question is if he refuses even if she initiates? May be the wife is to busy and he is to phlegmatic to initiate, but goes w/ her if she initiates?Blessings

  4. My husband hasn’t desired me since our honeymoon and that was 45 years ago. He moved to our basement and worked the midnight shift all these years. He doesn’t want anything to do with me, I’m suppose to leave him alone and don’t talk to him. He has no TV, phone or computer,he just stays cooped up in the basement. All these years I’ve been confused, depressed and wondering what went wrong. I try not to be at home to much, I have a part time job, and alot of friends. I wish I had some male friends but I just don’t trust them. I’m in my 60s now and pretty much accepted my life for what it is. I no longer have the desire for sex cause no one wants an old woman. Espically one who has been dragged through the mud. It will end some day and thats good !!!!!

    1. I’m so sorry for you. I understand why you would leave this comment anonymously. But if you check back, I want you to know that I prayed that God will give you comfort and guidance and do a miracle in your marriage. God bless you.

    2. Oh sweet friend, when I read your comment, my heart just broke for you. I can’t even imagine the rejection that you have felt over all these years. I hope you have found comfort in our sweet Jesus. And you are right about it all ending someday. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

  5. This is a very good list! It’s important to consider all of these possibilities because an individual man could be affected by any one of them or more than one.

    I would add: Before he met her, he had many experiences of being rejected by women. He fears feeling rejected so much that it’s hard for him to initiate sex with her, even though she is committed to him, because making that effort stirs up bad memories. (This is a situation in which he probably responds just fine if SHE makes the advance. But hardly anyone likes to be the initiator ALL the time, so it’s still a problem to work through.)

    Anonymous who has been married 45 years, I am praying that you will find the courage to talk with your husband and try to work it out. It’s not just about sex; you are estranged from him on so many levels, and although you say you’ve accepted it I can tell it still hurts. I hope the two of you can find peace and love.

  6. Thanks so much for linking up to Bible Love Notes B&BB. I love having your quality devotions/articles on the blog hop. You did a great job of dealing with a difficult subject in this one…thorough and thoughtful. thanks so much. I’m praying that God continues to bless your blogging ministry, and I hope to see you next week on B&BB.

  7. I have the problem that my husband wont spend time with me, he comes home gets on his comouter or reads his books, he says he worked all day ok i know hes 50 works out side all day and tired but come on i’ve been home all day with kids and I’m tired been married for 22 years . you know the saying its all over once they marry you. the gifts and all go away. and having sex that is not often he wates for me to say something or do something and then i wait for him.

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