1. I think I remember something that men actually like woman that are a little bit overweight. Not sure what source that was.

  2. Congratulations for being chosen Star Blogger at NOBH! You certainly don’t shy away from difficult issues. Thank you for your honesty and more importantly for writing from a scriptural perspective. Every blessing, Jolene.

  3. Hi Jolene – great post, tough subject. Glad your blog is around with such great advice.
    God bless

  4. Yes!! This is one of my soapboxes about marriage…I have three boys ages four and under so I know it’s hard to find the time to take a shower, wear makeup, exercise, but I think it is so important to try to stay attractive for your husband according to his standard of beauty (to a reasonable degree…I mean, if he expects a supermodel walking around the house in a little black dress with pearls and high heels, forget it!) My mom managed to always have a decent outfit (meaning no sweats) and makeup on when my dad came home even though she was homeschooling 6 kids, and my mother in law did the same thing with her two crazy boys running around. We can do it, but it is a matter of discipline and prioritizing.

  5. Well! I’m no exactly sure what sex is suppose to be like. I’m a christian and believe im my wedding vows. But my husband on the other hand doesn’t believe in those vows. We have been married 45 years and I’ve only had sex once and that’s it for my entire life. As soon as the I DO’s were over my husband changed. We had a wedding night and that was it. I was informed that he hated sex, it was gross and disgusting, and he wasn’t going to do it again. Also he decided to move all his things to the basement and he was going to work the midnight shift until they throw him out to retire. That was over 40 years of not being with me. Since our marriage we have never been together for dinner, vacation, date, watch TV, slept together nothing. He has his apartment and I have mine, I have been upset, depressed, confused for so many years. I’m in my 60’s now and accepted the fact I will never be loved again. I no longer trust men and never will again. Maybe some day I just won’t wake up and the LORD will take me away.

    1. I’m saying a prayer for you right now! Know that you are precious in his sight! The God of the entire universe loves you enough to sacrifice so much so that He can have fellowship with you. I am praying for blessings in your life and am so sorry for what you have had to endure!

    2. Dear Anonymous,
      My heart breaks for you and what you’ve had to go through all these years. You are so loved by the Lord Jesus and I do hope you know that. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

  6. Dear Anon, I am sending my heartfelt prayers to you now. Please believe me when I say not every man is like your husband.
    You are loved by the Lord and a sister of the Lord I love you too.

  7. This is exactly what is happening in my marriage! I have a great & loving husband but he just doesn’t want sex as much as I do. He is very stressed about our bills plus he is on meds for a heart condition and he works two jobs. Plus we hardly ever see each other as he works days for his main job & I work 2nd shift. Plus he says I always point out the stuff that he doesn’t get done (and he’s right, I need to change that.) Plus I have had four kids and am overweight (trying to lose but its not working very well). I just came to the realization today that who would he be more attracted to me with my overweight flabby body or a nicer looking, trim & fit person. Duh, I know what I would be more attracted to!
    I just need advice on how to go about making things better. It is really hard for me to talk about this face to face with him.
    I know this post is a year old but I hope you can help me!

    1. Kristen, do not be disheartened. I know its hard. I married an older man with a low sex drive. It hurts my heart so much that we aren’t intimate often. But- this does cause me to turn to the Lord. God says in Matt 7:7-8 that we need to Ask, Seek, Knock. Meaning Persist in your prayers. Pray often about this. Show God you desire his will in your marriage by continually taking it to Him in prayer. Our Heavenly father is waiting to fill your desires, having unlimited resources, and infinite wisdom and wants us to FULLY depend on Him. I see where my husband cannot( or will not) meet my needs, I am pushed to turn and ask Our Sweet Lord for strength to be understanding and forgiving, not holding onto bitterness. I want my heart to be soft toward my husband, and be able to be transformed by God’s grace. I encourage you to Persist in your prayers, asking the Lord to change your heart. I haven’t come from a family that talks, but God has shown me that if I want openness with my husband I have to be open! Ask your Husband for forgiveness, and repent. Show him the grace you want extended. Be honest with him.

      1. Thanks! I have talked to him and he knows it is something that needs to be worked on. I have been trying really hard to not say negative things about him but haven’t noticed much difference in him. I guess it takes time. Currently we are in the process of moving so I don’t even want it right now anyway. I have also been working on not being the victim and going after what I want more. That has helped some also.

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