My eyes welled up with tears when I read the first email. The words on the screen said, “Appointment to meet with a publisher.”
I felt gripped by fear thinking, “who was I to be writing a book?” And mixed with my insecurities was the reality that my book wasn’t even finished yet. I felt like a failure before I even started this whole process.
‘Delete’ went the email.
But I was haunted by my reality. I needed to make a decision because my deadline was moving closer and closer.
A week passed by and another email came by the same person. I opened it and there was that pit in my stomach, again. Why? Because I don’t feel like a writer. It’s not something I have pursued or dreamed of doing. I don’t have a book proposal. No polished pitch. Nothing.
So why on earth did I sign up to meet with a publisher? Call me crazy, because really, I have no clue. Well, that’s not fully accurate. I signed up for a conference called SheSpeaks. It’s a conference to encourage and equip women who write or speak God’s message to others. I fit into that boat, but I feel like my fears and insecurities are one big fat anchor which is causing my boat to sink.
Yet, I can’t NOT help but be in the boat to answer God’s call to minister to His daughters. It’s an odd position I’m in. In one breath, I want to stay in that boat and then in the next, I can’t wait to get out of it! The battle is on between my flesh and spirit.
But I can’t stay in my safe zone of writing blog posts forever. I’ve come to realize that the longer I spend time writing in this on-line space, the more I need to put together some books in order to help minister to you more effectively.
When I started this ministry the call from my Lord was simply to write to His daughters. He didn’t give me any specifics on this one. When I asked Him what? A book? A blog? No answer was given. Just simply to write. And now after 2 years He’s revealing more of His plan to me.
But now that I can see more of where the Lord is taking me in this ministry, I’m faced with a crossroads. I’m waffling between self-publishing the books the Lord has birthed in my heart or go the route of using a traditional publisher.
Traditional publishing seems like an easier path if I have access to a publisher. (And now I have access to 2 of them next month!)
But I’m still hesitant to walk down that path.
And in my quiet moments with my Father I hear Him whisper to me…
Daughter, please go out on a limb for Me. I will be with you and you can trust Me.
After seeking the Lord and looking at all the different pros and cons to both sides, there’s really only one reason that’s holding me back from pursuing traditional publishing. It’s fear.
Doesn’t that just stick in your craw? To realize why you’re not pursuing something or moving forward it’s all because of fear? That just kinda disgusts me as I type that out. When I think about the logic behind all of that, it really ticks me off because I know I’m in a spiritual battle.
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Eph. 6:12 (NLT)
As a warrior for the Lord, I can either go into battle with Him or I can retreat because I’m fearful. Well, from one warrior woman to another, retreat is not an option! God has given us a purpose, and that’s to lift His name on high and glorify Him. Of course I can sit back and shake in my boots and keep my mouth shut, or I can tell Satan to get behind me while I do what God has called me to do, which is to write and speak on His behalf. 🙂
So this is what the Lord has taught me in my situation and what I hope to pass on to you when you find yourself at a crossroads.
3 Biblical Tips When You’re At a Crossroads
Choose faith over fear.
Fear is not of the Lord. Fear is of the Enemy. Don’t make your decisions based on fear.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Tim. 1:7
And without faith it is impossible to please God. Hebrews 11:6
Inquire of the Lord.
Do this over and over again. When you read about David in the Bible, who was considered by God as a man after His own heart, one of the things he did continually when he went into battle was he inquired of the Lord.
So David inquired of the LORD, saying, “Shall I go up against the Philistines? Will You deliver them into my hand?” And the LORD said to David, “Go up, for I will doubtless deliver the Philistines into your hand.” 2 Sam. 5:19
Therefore David inquired of the LORD, and He said, “You shall not go up; circle around behind them, and come upon them in front of the mulberry trees. 2 Sam. 5:23
Wait on the Lord.
Don’t move forward until you get your answer or the Lord’s given you more clarity into your situation so you can move forward in faith.
Be still, and know that I am God Psalm 46:10
Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD! Psalm 27:14
Soon I’ll share with you what I’ve been working on and the decision I’ve made. Plus I’ll give you some more biblical tips to help you in your decision-making process.
Now it’s your turn? Has fear ever held you back from doing something you felt God was calling you to do? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Live a poured out life for Christ,