I receive a lot of emails from wives sharing about their financial struggles and the strains it has placed on their marriages. Of course, I can totally understand their concern being that my Beloved and I have lived through an IRS audit, was dragged through a lawsuit, had our home foreclosed upon when we lost our business, couldn’t afford to pay rent for the rental home we were living in, and then we had to live with friends. But other than those few minor hiccups in our marriage, I totally get the strains these money problems can place upon your marital union. And yes, I said minor hiccups with complete sarcasm!
Many women have shared with me their struggles and fears because I’ve been very open about all of mine. No sense in wearing a mask portraying that my life is perfect. It does you and me no good. And by wearing a mask, in essence, we’re telling the whole world that we’ve got everything under control. Hmmm, it kinda sounds like we have no need of a Savior with an approach like that, now doesn’t it? Quite honestly, though, I chose this path of openness and transparency because I have a heart to come alongside the wounded, weary, and worried woman. Therefore, it just makes plain sense to share my pain and life so others can identify with me, which in turn, allows me to minister in Jesus’ name.
So this brings me to today…
I kinda feel like I can write a book on the topic of financial struggles based on all that I’ve lived through but instead, I’m going to write a series on this stuff so you can be encouraged and equipped in your mess life.
And if you’re new here, I encourage you to subscribe to receive my future posts on this extremely important and sometimes, hair-raising, hmmm, maybe that should say, ‘hair-losing and hair-pulling topic’ instead??
Are you concerned about your finances? Welcome to the club! Below is a list of so-called country clubs that I’ve attended and experienced in regards to finances. Perhaps you’ve been to these places as well?
- I know what it’s like to have our electricity turned off because we couldn’t pay the bills.
- I know what it’s like to not have much food in our pantry and not know when we can buy more.
- I know what it’s like to not know where we’ll get money for our health supplements/medications.
- I know what it’s like to not have health insurance and a loved one is in need of medical attention. A trip to the ER can really set a wife over the emotional edge and cause an enormous amount of anxiety!
- I know what it’s like to have only a few bucks in our pockets and there’s no work on the horizon.
- I know what it’s like to not know where we’re going to live.
- I know what it’s like to forget where my home is. I’m so not kidding on this one! We moved so many times in such a short time that as I drove through town and my brain was on autopilot, I actually drove to the wrong house!
- I know what it’s like to question where God is in all that we’re going through.
- I know what it’s like to say, Is God’s grace really enough, like the song says, when in reality my boy needs shoes because he’s got holes in his soles and it’s raining outside.
- I know what it’s like to feel uncertainty, fear, exhaustion, anger, despair, apathy, and frustration. I also know what it’s like to feel forgotten and forsaken. I was well acquainted with all those words and emotions for years on end.
Most Believers know the Bible says that the love of money is the root of all evil. (1 Timothy 6:10) Now it’s probably hard to think that we love money when we’re just trying to pay the mortgage/rent and put food on the table, right? Come on now, it’s not like we’re asking the Lord to give us some money so we can buy a new car or go on some elaborate vacation. Yet, looking back over our 8 year period of financial storms, the Lord not only taught me a few things from our experiences but He also revealed to me a few things about the concept of money and the love I have had for it.
- Do I love money so much that I distrust God?
- Do I love money so much that I take my frustrations out on my husband and children or those around me?
- Do I love money so much that it lessens my respect towards my man?
- Do I love money so much that I allow it to threaten my marital oneness by letting it come between me and my Beloved?
- Do I love money so much that I turn into a snappy, contentious, and controlling woman because I lack faith that the Lord will provide for us?
Why did I feel this way? Because I’m selfish.
Why did I distrust that God would provide? Because I lack faith and I was fearful of our future.
Why did I lash out or take out my frustrations on my husband or children? Because I lack control over my situation.
The 3 Root Issues that Cause Us to Freak Out Over Finances
1. A Fearful Heart
It’s scary to lose what you’re used to. You’re not sure of what’s going to happen to you. Where are you going to live? Where’s the money going to come from? What do you do when medical attention is needed? What are you going to eat and will you have clothes to wear? Honestly, I really think we need to look at birds more often!
“Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Matthew 6:26
Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you. Genesis 3:16 (NLT)
Not only do I want a beautiful roof over my head, a soft bed to sleep in, blankets and covers to keep me warm, but I want a nice fluffy pillow for my head too. Yet, when I reflect on the verse below, I can’t help but think I’m pretty darn selfish! And why do I say this? Because the Lord has provided all of these things for me, however, I’m still not satisfied. I want more, and I want things my way! Take a look at how our Savior lived so you can have a better understanding of this viewpoint.
And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” Luke 9:58
Yes, the reality is, the love of money causes God’s daughters to do some strange things! When our finances are low (or non-existent), we become more fearful, controlling, and selfish.
In a nutshell, turning our eyes to Jesus is what we need to do to overcome these issues. Meet me back here next week where I’ll address these concerns and share how to deal with them in a biblical way.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
5 Days to a Better Marriage
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