The 4 Benefits Mentoring Has on Marriage
As I have poured out in this on-line ministry, it has cost me dearly. It has cost me my time. My money. My leisure. And even the amount of sleep I get.
Pouring into the lives of countless women requires me to be vulnerable and transparent (unless I want to be known as a fraud). I share wounds that I don’t care to remember, respond to emails and comments that are tough to deal with, and I write and speak when my emotions are screaming to go run and hide from the spotlight.
But regardless of what I’ve given up for the sake of the ministry, I wouldn’t trade it for the world because there is a biblical mandate I hold close to my heart and it is found in Titus 2:3-5.
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
A few decades have passed since I first came across the passage in Titus and I couldn’t help but wonder, ‘Where are all the older women? More specifically, where would I find mine?
I didn’t have a Godly example to follow, so I was thrilled when I read this verse, but soon became disappointed with my reality. It’s not that I didn’t want a mentor, I truly did, but unfortunately, I couldn’t find one.
So I prayed for one, and God, in His infinite wisdom, gave me… Him. I’ll have to admit, it’s not what I expected. I thought surely the Lord would give me someone in the flesh to learn from. But that wasn’t His plan for my life.
So over the years, I read His Word and He revealed so many things to me as I learned from Him.
Then He pierced my heart to teach others.
At first, I was quite apprehensive to do so. I started to lead my first Bible study when I had only been following the Lord for 5 years. I felt ill-equipped especially when the majority of the women in my group had been walking with the Lord longer than I had.
And then my husband would remind me of what the Apostle Paul said to Timothy:
Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. 1 Tim. 4:12
So I pressed on and poured into women in spite of my insecurities and I’m so thankful that I did because of the benefits that I received by being a mentor to them.
4 Benefits Mentoring Has on Marriage
On-going student of the Word of God
I can’t teach what I don’t know. Period. There’s no way around this. I’ve got to be in the Word in order to teach the Word. And when I’m reading the Word, it just so happens to convict me, encourage me and equip me in my own marriage.
Mentoring other women holds me accountable to walk the talk. For example, I can’t, in all sincerity, share with a wife and encourage her to respect her husband if I’m not willing to do so. This accountability has allowed my own marriage to flourish.
The Gospel is Advanced
When marriages become either stronger or restored through mentoring with the Word of God, lives are transformed. And when this takes place, the Gospel is advanced because a Christ-centered marriage reflects Jesus Christ and the Church.
Fellowship and Friendship
A few of my favorite things….talking about the Lord and what He’s doing in our lives (fellowship) and building a deeper friendship with another Christian woman. Speaking to a sister in Christ about our Lord just so happens to make my heart sing! When a friendship is developed, it’s easier to lean on one another and share our struggles. Once we arrive at that vulnerable place, that’s when the Body of Christ can really minister to one another. Every marriage needs someone who will come alongside and help them out.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
Need some encouragement and guidance in your marriage? Grab my latest book, Wives of the Bible: 25 Easy Lessons You Can Learn from these Imperfect Women that Will Radically Transform Your Marriage.
Jolene, I am sorry that writing this blog is a trial for you, but it has been a lifeline for me. I have been married for 27 years, to an unbeliever. It didn’t matter at first, because I had fallen away in my teen years. As we grew older and our marriage became difficult, I turned to God for help, and have been his since that time. The Lord is my deliverer, my comfort, and my sounding board. Even with daily scripture reading, the beam was in my eye as I look askance at my husbands unrighteous decisions. One day within the last year I stumbled upon your blog – it has change my life and my attitude. I realized that I had lost respect for him, that I refused to let him lead (I was the one in conversation with God, so how could he make the right decisions?). I was very convicted by your writing, and have used it as a springboard to creating a better marriage. I praise God that he has inspired you. I pray that he will strengthen you to continue in your work. I am sure that you have many readers who feel that same as I do. You are a beacon in this struggling world. Thank you for your sacrifice! Thank you for your wisdom! Thank you for sharing!
What a blessing to hear that your marriage has grown stronger as a result of this ministry! God is good like that. He knows what we need, when we need it. And He knows what I need. He continually shapes me, refines me, comforts me, and challenges me right here in this ministry. One minute my flesh is bent out of shape and the next, my spirit is soaring! In all honesty, I can’t even imagine my life without the opportunity to pour into God’s gals! I love it and I believe He has wired me to do it but sometimes I just let my own insecurities rob me of the joy He wants to extend to me. When I take my eyes off of myself and compare this world to heaven, then the reality is, there is no sacrifice in what I do here. Building God’s kingdom rather than my own is what I always want to be the driving force of my life. But sometimes I grow weary or become wounded, or I’m just flat out discouraged and what does God do? He sends you to encourage me! Thanks friend. <3
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