1. Such a great post!!!! I am a servant at heart and these are great things to remember. Sometimes we just want to take all the hurt and pain away and we can not necessarily do that so it then causes stress in our lives. We can not allow that. Thank you for these tips. Hubs and I are spending some time together this weekend bc we have been pouring into other a lot lately. We need some us time!

    1. Oh, I hope you and your hubby have a lovely time! Sometimes we just need to get away together with our spouse and not talk “church talk” or “family” talk but just leave all the stress (be it good or bad) behind! Enjoy your WE time! 🙂

  2. Thank you! I have had to do this recently, break off an unhealthy friendship and I’m very much at peace with it. I pray she finds God at the end of what she’s searching for, but I realized she didn’t respect the boundaries of my relationship and child.

    1. Good for you for having the wisdom to know when you needed to set some boundaries. That’s hard to do but sometimes it’s necessary, isn’t it?

      I had to do the same. Sometimes you can work a relationship out with people who will hold to your boundaries and are able to stay in your life, but some people won’t. But that is *their* choice.

      I set a boundary that I would hang up the phone whenever my person crossed over into yelling and screaming and verbal abuse and demands. She was told the boundary but didn’t like it.

      I felt at peace with my decision, knowing that I and my family were safe and healthy and not verbally abused nor burdened with unreasonable demands.

      And sometimes people grow and mature and then the boundaries can be moved or prayerfully lifted even! 🙂 But sometimes they can’t and, as you said, we just continue to pray that they will find God’s peace and direction for their lives.

  3. Thank you so much! This is something I really struggle with. Everyone needs help but my priorities should be set in such a way that my prime energies are reserved for my husband and kids. #3 and 5 are especially helpful reminders. Too often I feel guilty for having to say no due to my physical and emotional limitations.

    1. It’s so stressful and difficult when you’re pulled in two different directions with the needs of others and trying to balance your own families needs. I’ve been there too!

      I have felt guilty for saying “no” many times too, but many times I have felt even worse saying “yes!” There have been times when I will jump to say “yes” without even prayerfully considering it. Those are the times I usually regret, lol!

      In the past, I had to set a boundary for myself to prayerfully consider a decision for 24 hours before I gave an answer for something that demanded a big commitment or a lot of my time, but sometimes I crossed my own boundary, lol!

      The difference is the peace that I have when I say “yes” to the right thing and “no” to the wrong thing. It’s not the wrong thing for someone else, but the wrong thing for me! 😉

      So keep saying “no” when your priorities demand it and don’t feel guilty. When you say “no” to one thing you’re saying “yes” to something else, and sometimes that “yes” has to be to yourself and your family’s needs!

  4. Nan…what a fabulous post. I wrote about saying no a while back because I was struggling with that but after allowing myself the okay to say no sometimes, I could breathe and not put my marriage, family, or self last on the to-do list. Delegating was a new way of doing things and gave others the opportunity to serve more deeply without me having to step away completely. I could still serve and be a wife and mom which are my first heart tugs. Thank you friend for a great list of ways to preserve our roles as wife and mom while still serving.

    1. Thank you for your sweet words, my friend! I know that there have been times where I have been torn between someone else’s needs and my family’s needs, and sometimes I needed to reevaluate my priorities. I realized that I didn’t have to be the one to step in and “save” the situation every time, and could allow others to be blessed by serving and meeting a need.

      I LOVE delegating, lol! 🙂

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