Years ago, I was talking with my husband about the topic of prioritizing wifehood. He asked me if “wifehood” was even a word.
I smiled and said, “Well, if it isn’t, it should be!” And if it’s not, I’ll coin it myself — because I’m going to keep using it to encourage wives to treat their role as a wife as a priority. After all, the wife holds a powerful and influential position in the home; therefore, wifehood should absolutely be a word.
Motherhood is a word.
Widowhood is a word.
Why wouldn’t wifehood be? Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?
It’s funny to think that if I don’t hold a job outside the home, society would label me a housewife. For the record, I’m not married to a house!
Now, I’ve been pondering the concept of wifehood a lot lately as I’ve been spending time with an engaged woman and some single women who desire to be married. I asked all of them what their plans are once they marry. Their answers surprised me. So this got me to thinking about the role of a wife, more specifically, why is it so diminished and undervalued in our society?
Motherhood isn’t diminished. It’s elevated.
Being a businesswoman isn’t diminished. It’s respected.
A woman in ministry isn’t in a diminished role, either. It’s greatly revered.
But what about the position of being a wife? Is it only the husband’s job to view her worth as far above rubies?
Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10
Has the church culture and society in general not given us enough teachings on the prominent and priceless position a wife holds?
And/or have we been deceived by the enemy of our souls to think that being a wife is merely a relationship status because we donned a white dress, walked down an aisle, and had a fancy celebration called a wedding? Is that the extent of being a wife?
Now, let me ask you a few questions…
What would happen to your children if your marriage fell apart?
If you have a career, how would you handle a failed marriage? Would your difficult personal life make your business life easier or harder?
Or, what would happen to your ministry if you divorced your guy?
So, bride, go back in your mind to your wedding day. Think about what you wanted for your lifelong love story — and ask yourself what you’re doing right now to protect and invest in that pursuit.
As women, we wear a lot of hats, but the one we’re so quick to take off is the wife hat. Probably because our feelings for our spouse cool down over time, and it’s easy to hold a grudge and quietly check out of a relationship. Or the day-to-day demands of raising kids are outright draining, overwhelming, and exhausting. We wonder how on God’s green earth we can actually have the emotional energy at the end of the day to prioritize our marriage.
When I became a mother, it shook the foundation of my marriage. Figuring out how to be both a mom and a wife at once felt almost impossible. Every waking moment belonged to my little boy — and with a newborn, that’s just how it goes. But he grew, and today he’s 26. Somewhere along the way, I had to learn to be intentional about my marriage so that my son — and the son who came after him — could grow up in a home where their parents loved Jesus and loved each other.
I want you to consider the why — the reason — for prioritizing wifehood.
2 Crucial Reasons to Prioritize Wifehood
1. As believers in Christ Jesus, our marriage is to reflect Christ and the Church.
The way we tend to and prioritize our relationship with our husband is a testimony to the world — to believers and non-believers alike. When we live out the gospel in our marriage, that pursuit will galvanize our marital union. It will also draw us closer to each other and to God.
“Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” — John 13:35
2. How we live out our marriage will teach our children how to live out theirs.
One of the best things I could teach my sons growing up had nothing to do with words — it was showing them, through my daily example as a wife, what a Christ-centered marriage looks like. (But above all else, what mattered most was teaching them to follow Jesus.) Those two things were never separate; the way I lived out my faith as a wife — rooted in my intention to be a wife of the Word — quietly shaped the kind of woman they would marry.
During those years of building a life, I often had to ask myself: What did I want them to see and learn about a godly marriage? And was I truly showing that to them? Looking back now, with both of my sons married, I can see how those everyday moments of living out my faith within our home laid the foundation for the marriages they are building today.”
Prioritizing wifehood doesn’t just affect your marriage; it also shapes your children’s lives and their future marriages.
Action to Take
Ask your husband some or all of the following: What does he need from you? How can you best minister to him today? How can you help him or love him right now?
Here are four areas you can touch on throughout the coming weeks:
Mentally — Are there things on his mental to-do list that you can take care of?
Emotionally — Is he weighed down or concerned about something? Does he need your support or encouragement?
Physically — Does he want some time to himself? A nap? Some recreation? Physical intimacy?
Spiritually — Is there something you can be praying for? Is there a scripture that would minister to him in the battle he’s facing? Find one, write it on a note, and leave it for him.
What are you willing to do today to prioritize your role as a wife?
