“My husband and I are so different, in fact, you can call us opposites.”
“I’ve often wondered what I was thinking when I married him. I mean, after all, this is not what I thought married life would be like!”
“Sometimes he’s so rude in the way that he speaks to me that I feel like he never considers my feelings.”
“He just doesn’t understand me.”
“He hardly ever spends any time talking to me.”
“He’s certainly not very affectionate like he was when we were dating.”
“I don’t like they way he handles conflict with others. Sometimes he does absolutely nothing about it and sticks his head in the sand. Other times I wish he’d handle things my way because I’d be much more caring and gentle.”
“I don’t think he works hard enough. Or he’s always working and he’s never home.”
“I wish he’d make more money for our family.”
I’m not sure he knows how to parent our children well enough. Sometimes he acts like a distant father. Or he acts like a child himself.
“He never helps out around the house. Or he expects the house to be in perfect order.”
“He’s a tight wad with the money. Or he does a poor job handling the money.”
“Perhaps if he was a better spiritual leader, maybe all my problems with him would disappear?”
Unfortunately, these are the many things that I hear from wives about their husbands.
Let’s face it, our husbands fall short, (as do we!) And because of this, it’s always easier to look at our husbands as being crummy. We see their faults and short-comings because of our own self-centered, sin-filled nature. In fact, Satan just loves it when we view our husbands through the lenses of criticism and condemnation.
Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall. Luke 11:17
Now take a step back from all that is on this list. Realize that there are two different paths you can take in your marriage. You can take the road that leads you to seeing where all your man’s weaknesses, faults and failures are. Or you can take the road that leads you to seeing his strengths.
Whatever path you choose, it’s your decision alone. No one can force you to change.
Now I can tell you if you’d like to have a better marriage and one that is pleasing to the Lord, then I encourage you to take the path that sees the good in your man. (By the way, this is not the easier path because it goes against our human nature.)
Be intentional about taking the path of becoming a gracious wife, a wife that builds her husband up and encourages him. After all, you were created to be his help mate, coming alongside of him and ministering to him!
Tips to Becoming a Gracious Wife
- Realize that your husband, even though he is appointed by God to be the head of the home, he is not nor will he ever be, perfect.
- Forgive him as Christ has forgiven you.
- Be content with your man.
- Recognize that you and your husband are one flesh, so if you’re picking him apart, essentially you’re picking yourself apart.
- Lean on the Holy Spirit for your strength and guidance.
Tips to Becoming a Wife Who Builds Up Her Marriage
- Encourage your husband today.
- Be mindful of the words that come from your lips. Will your words build your man up, or will they tear him down? Think about how you’d like to be spoken to or thought of by your husband.
- Learn to become a Philippians 4:8 Wife…..Think on the character traits that your husband has that are:
- Good report
- Or praiseworthy
We all know how quick and easy it is to demolish and tear down something. Yet, when you build something it takes a lot of thought, planning, determination, work, perseverance, etc. It’s the same premise within our marriages…building them up requires effort. That’s why grace, the leading of the Holy Spirit, and the renewing of our minds are vital building materials for a Christ-centered marriage.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
Need some encouragement and guidance in your marriage? Grab my latest book, Wives of the Bible: 25 Easy Lessons You Can Learn from these Imperfect Women that Will Radically Transform Your Marriage.