This post is not what you think. In fact, you might wonder if I’ve gone off the deep end by writing it from this perspective. And, well, if that’s what you think, I’m okay with that!
I’m not going to tell you that you can be dangerous to the Enemy by being a wife who prays more. (Although this activity will work.)
I’m not going to tell you to read your Bible more. (But this will bend Satan out of shape.)
What I’m going to tell you is something totally different. Yet this act will strengthen your marriage, which in turn will cause you to be dangerous to the Enemy. Anytime a marriage is strong and the couple is living for the Lord, who then gets that glory? Yep. The Lord! And who hates that? Yep. Satan.
So I get these letters from wives. Letters that say….
“All my husband ever wants from me is sex.”
When I read a statement like that my first inkling is to smile and then I think, “Well, don’t you want your husband to sexually desire you? I mean, come on now, isn’t that why you got married in the first place?” That’s why I married my man.
But then I process her thought even more and that’s when I realize Satan’s got a foothold in her marriage.
We already know God designed sex for marriage. This vulnerable and intimate act wasn’t intended for any other relationship than that of the husband and wife. Our Creator is pretty darn smart, don’t you think? I believe He knew what He was doing when He created the marriage bed. But Satan is hellbent on destroying marriages and if he can plant seeds into your mind that your husband is some kind of animal, well then, the Enemy will plant those seeds… and many times a wife will start to water them! Don’t listen to that lying and deceitful snake.
Here’s something for you to ponder in your marriage….
What if your man said to you,
“All you ever want to do is talk to me!” “And when will you ever stop?” Could you ever imagine him saying that?
That wouldn’t go over so well with you now, would it? If our husbands said that to us we’d feel deeply hurt and rejected by our man.
And by the way, is it such a bad idea that he wants to be physically intimate with you? Or would you prefer him to desire another woman? Just sayin!
Consider this….what if he stops desiring you? How would that make you feel? Beautiful? Probably not. Desired? Nope.
Sometimes looking at your situation through a different lens is all you need to adjust your perspective.
So now do you see that his desire for you is a good thing? Don’t worry now, I live in the real world….I know this does not mean you’ll automatically enjoy being intimate with your husband because the reality is, there’s a battle going on in your mind. (If sex is painful for you, then read this post.)
How a Christian Wife Can Be Dangerous to the Enemy
A husband who sexually desires his wife is a beautiful thing. Try saying that a few times to yourself so you can change your mindset. Again, your authority in this perspective is the Word of God, not your feelings and emotions.
Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. Prov. 5:18-19
Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor. 7:5
Physical intimacy for a wife starts in her mind…
Ask yourself if you’re inviting Satan into your marriage bed when you tell yourself you don’t enjoy being intimate with your husband?
And are you buying the lie Satan has perpetrated in your mind that all your husband ever wants from you is sex? He might want dinner, as well.
1. Renew your mind regarding physical intimacy.
Think on what is true, noble, lovely…. God designed the act of marriage, therefore it’s a lovely thing! Score 1 point for the wife. 0 points for Satan.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if [there is] any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things. Phil. 4:8
A wife generally connects with her husband by talking with him and a husband generally connects with his wife through physical intimacy. You want your husband to connect with you, don’t you?
2.Prepare your mind.
Don’t just leave physical intimacy to chance…like after you’ve worked hard all day long. Now you’re exhausted and you can’t wait to collapse into bed but the next thing you know, you feel his hand reaching for your body…When you approach physical intimacy like this, you can’t exactly expect to enjoy it. After all, your body is saying no and so is your mind. The mental battle has already been lost. Score 1 point for the Enemy.
3.Plan and Protect.
Satan does not want you to draw closer to your husband! If he can get the two of you to have very little sex or stop you from having sex, or convince you that you despise having sex with your husband, then guess what? Your marriage is now under attack! Be intentional about defeating the Enemy in regards to this aspect of your marriage. Plan your times of intimacy with your husband so you’re not so exhausted at the end of the day. Put the kids to bed earlier. Don’t over-commit yourself to outside activities. Take a nap.
4.Fight the battle.
Be a wife who looks forward to being intimate with her husband.
Be a wife who places a higher importance upon her marriage rather than on motherhood, a career, outside relationships, ministry, etc. One simple tip is dressing like a hottie that day instead of a mommy. That’s what I try to do even though, I’m, well, older than hottie status.
Be a wife who embraces what God has ordained specifically for marriage rather than a wife who rejects it.
I guarantee you if you take these measures to strengthen your marriage, then the by-product will be a marital relationship that’s flourishing. And when a marriage is thriving and not merely surviving….it’s one huge threat to the Enemy!
Dare to be a dangerous wife!
Live a poured out life for Christ,