1. Great post! I struggled with this critical spirit in my marriage for many years. Once I made the conscious effort to step out of the way and let God lead my husband, the stress factor was greatly reduced and it did wonders for our marriage.

      1. When I first read this I thought it was satirical. I hope that one day you find God, because honestly your marriage doesn’t sound Godly. It sounds abusive. A Godly marriage is one in which your man treats you as Jesus treated the church. Would Jesus snap at the church for giving Him advice?
        Think on this. It sounds as if you respect your husband, which is great, but a marriage is made of two people. Your husband must respect you as well.
        God bless

  2. We’ve had these issues as well in our marriage, in fact, almost the exact same thing (I’m not sure it was pears and pees), and I reacted the same way. Now this really is two issues, the one you described, and the way I reacted. Both have to be dealt with. There is a big difference between pushing the bowl away and saying “Do you want to do this?” and calmly saying “Perhaps you would like to rephrase that starting with ‘Thank you for helping, can I offer a suggestion?'”. One is a defensive posture out of fear or pride, the other is from a position of leadership.

    So much easier to think about when not in the situation. Haven’t managed to pull it off yet while in it.

    1. Yes, it is two issues, Jay, but seeing how I’m not writing to men, I don’t give wives counsel on how to ‘fix’ their guy! 🙂
      It’s a wife’s gentle and quiet spirit along with her loving influence that can generally soften her husband’s response towards her.
      I’ll write a series soon on the husband who tends to be overbearing or somewhat harsh towards his wife. This post, although very applicable to most marriages, is designed for the husband who has a hard time leading his home.

        1. Ha! I wasn’t offended, Jay. You’re a man, and men respond differently than women! I was raised with all men, I’m married to a man, and I’m raising all men! I’m surrounded by testosterone so I get your position. I just responded the way I did to make sure my female readers understood. 🙂 You know, those relational beings?

            1. That’s funny!
              Women are simple…although not as simple as men, I might add! The female gender needs to feel loved, cherished, thought beautiful of,(even when we think we’re ugly), we need to be heard, validated, helped when we want help (usually often but only if it’s done our way! Every woman struggles with this! 🙂 We need a man who protects us but not one who makes us feel like we’re our husband’s daughter. And we need our guy to be okay with the fact that we change our mind, often. What can I say, we’re insecure human beings! Start by listening to her heart and make sure you don’t stomp on it when she shares it with you. 🙂 Tell you wife I said, Hi.

              1. I will tell her.

                In the last few years I’ve realized 3 methods of dealing with a spouse (on the line that they are of the opposite gender):
                1) Be a mind reader
                2) Communicate
                3) Be miserable

                I’m not so good at #1, I don’t like #3, so that leaves #2. Works surprisingly well.

  3. I love this post and hope it helps many women.

    Mothering is not so easy. I am twenty years a mother now, it was not easy to find the right path/way together as husband and wife. A large part came down on my shoulders, because we have a private business, where he had to be present. Now, after so many years, we do much more together.

  4. Hi,

    Really enjoying your posts. Good advice that I can use.

    I can’t find the link to these 2 posts you mentioned above though…

    “When He’s Not Changing Fast Enough” and “When You Don’t Think He’s Doing a Good Enough Job in the Leadership Department”. Could you please send the link?



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