As a new bride, the idea of not having sex with my husband was not an idea that would have ever crossed my mind. But when the newness of my marriage wore off and then intimacy struggles I faced were ushered in, I thought, now what? Do I just let the passion for my husband die? Well, I learned in those early years I had to fight to keep our spark alive.
But more years have been added to our marriage, along with more pressures of life and more wounds from the one I love. My natural default it to pull away from my husband. But I’ve learned this response won’t bring the result I’m seeking in my marriage.
A wife longs to emotionally connect with her husband. One way this happens is through sex. But if the sexual connection is gone then it won’t be long when the emotional connection is gone too.
I’m sure most wives want the emotional connection from their man.
We want to feel cherished by our guy, but sometimes we go about it the wrong way because we don’t have the relational skills needed to connect deeper to the one we married.
So, what’s a wife to do when she doesn’t want to have sex?
Personally, I believe most wives have dealt with this thought more than one time or another in their marriage. But do we just leave the thought there? Do we tell ourselves we no longer admire and respect our guy? We’re no longer attracted to him and just let our love story end? Or do we take a different action? One that is contrary to the culture and our feelings?
The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor. 7:4-5
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