10 Ways a Wife Can Deal with Her Fears Regarding Finances

Many wives can relate to having financial pressures in marriage, after all, money is one of the top 3 issues that couples fight over. So, if you put a woman in a marriage and then not have enough funds to pay the bills, you’ll see her freak out real quick.

When my man and I went through our financial struggles, I often became a different wife.  I’d worry and stress out, and I became what I call, the crazy lady.  So, if you’ve turned into the crazy lady because of fear of your financial situation, know you’re not alone. However, I’ll share with you how to get out of that fearful state so you can live in peace.

Read the following scriptures and see what the love of money, the pursuits of it, and the hope we put into it can do to us.

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.  Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.  But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness…Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.  Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.  In this way they will lay up treasures for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age; so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life. (1 Timothy 6:10, 11, 17-19)

10 Ways a Wife Can Deal with Her Fears Regarding Finances

1.  Keep an eternal perspective.

Seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.  If you haven’t read my earlier post in this series, Becoming Stable When Your World Feels Unstable click on over so you can learn how to set your feet on the proper biblical foundation.

2.  Search your heart to figure out the reason for your response.

My first post in this series, The 3 Root Issues that Cause Us to Freak Out Over Finances will help you gain a better understanding of why you’re freaking out.  Are you fearful of your situation? Controlling? Acting selfishly? Knowing the cause of why you are responding the way you are will help you gain some self-control in your situation.  Also, I encourage you to share these reasons with your husband.  Your guy is not a mind reader, and it’ll help him communicate with you, lead you, and protect you when you’re having a tough time in life.  Plus, if he’s a believer, he’ll know how to pray for you.

3.  Know your role.

Who’s responsibility is it to make the money for your household?  If it’s solely your man’s like it is mine, one of the things my Beloved constantly reminds me of when I freak out over our lack of finances is this…  “Are you now in charge of making the money for this family?”  It’s his sweet, gentle reminder that I don’t need to be worrying over his area of responsibilities.  I do my part in our marriage and family life, and he does his.  If I feel he is not doing enough in his role, then I take my concerns to the Lord first.

4.  Hold your tongue.  

No amount of blaming will cause your bank account to grow larger, and neither will it foster love in your marriage.  I know this is a hard one.  But as Godly women, we need to be mindful of how our words can either tear down or build up our marriage.

5.  Pray.  

Pray without ceasing.  Pray for your husband and your situation.  Ask the Lord to give you the strength and faith needed in your situation, then rest in the Scriptures and the promises of God.

6.  Speak the Scriptures to your husband.

If he’s fallen down, lost his job, is experiencing business woes or concerns, then breathe the Breath of Life into him.  By doing this, you’re strengthening and encouraging him spiritually, and you’re protecting your marriage from the Enemy.  And, since the Word of God does not return void, those Scriptures will minister to you too.

7.  Give thanks.

Be thankful for the blessings that God has given to you and keep in mind that someone else is always in a more difficult financial situation than you are.  Think of those living in poverty in a third-world country.  When I take this perspective,  I am always so grateful for what we do have.

8.  Serve the Lord so your eyes are not on yourself and the kingdom you’re trying to build.  

When we turn our eyes to our Maker and seek to live a life of service to Him rather than ourselves, we are no longer in the midst of our daily pity party.

9.  The loss of your finances is not the end of the world.

I know it may seem like it is, but it’s not. I’ve lived in the land of financial famine, and I’m still breathing. And Job got through his financial loss too. So I encourage you to take the path of bettering your marriage over the path of destroying your love and marital commitment all because you don’t have enough money.  That even sounds ridiculous to type out.  Why would anyone break up their marriage over finances?  Logically, doesn’t that concept sound absurd?  Well, we all know the truth of how we feel when we’re put in a tough financial situation with our guy, don’t we?

The blame game starts.

The criticalness begins.

Bitterness starts to grow in your heart.  And the next thing you know, you’re no longer talking with one another, sleeping in the same bed, or even having sex.  The marriage has eroded all because of our love of money.

10.  Weather the storm together.

Don’t bail emotionally, physically, mentally and/or spiritually on your husband during such a difficult time in his life.  Lean into him, not away from him.  He needs your support, acceptance, and belief in him, not your condemnation and criticism.  Hold fast to your marriage vows even when you’re in a season of ‘poorer’ rather than ‘richer.’

Give God time to work in your life.

I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint. Jeremiah 31:25 NIV

Jolene Engle

Related:

How to Get on the Same Page as Your Spouse Regarding Finances

How to Find Peace as a Wife When Facing Financial Storms