Day 9: Being His Friend

Missed some posts in this series?  You can read them here.

From the moment we take our vows, we are committing to a life time with our mate. A life time that will bring ups and sometimes, even some downs. A life time that will bring love and happiness. However, if there is no friendship within the marriage, it is going to be a long and lonely life time.

Friendship within the marriage is vital. Friendship brings about a closeness between two people. Friendship improves intimacy.

8 Ways to Being His Friend

• Talk to each other. Our closest friends are those we talk to regularly. I am not the kind of gal who goes to lunch, has coffee, or goes shopping with my girlfriends, but I do talk to them very regularly. We need to talk to our husband. Talk to him about our experiences, our heart, our plans, our hopes, and most important, ask him about those things too.
• Laugh. Life doesn’t always have to be so serious.  You laugh and joke with your girlfriends. He laughs and jokes with his buddies. So laugh and joke together. Too often we left the busyness of life bog us down. We laugh with the world and try to be everything they want us to be, but our spouse gets the tired, worn down, serious mate. It’s time to have fun.
• Do things he enjoys too. It’s not all about us. Sometimes we need to do things our guy likes. If he is into building things, be the girl standing next to him passing him tools. If he enjoys watching football, learn the sport and buy yourself a cute jersey. I am not saying become a die hard football fan, but watching the occasional game with him will tell him that you care about his passions.
• Never stop learning about him. The longer I am friends with someone, the more I learn about them. It may be things about their childhood, a dislike they have or a silly quirk. But I am always learning. Never stop learning about your husband. And when you do learn something new, file that information away as important.
• Be a listening ear for him. One thing we like about our girlfriends is that the listen to us. We need to be a listening ear for our man. Men don’t always share as often or in the same way women do, but they still need to know we are here to listen.
• Seek his counsel. It is always wise to seek our husband’s counsel no matter what. But when we need advice we tend to seek out a friend, not our man. We want to know what she thinks and how she would handle something. But if we seek our husband’s advice, it shows that not only do we respect him but that we also consider him a friend.
• Offer grace and forgiveness. We all goof up from time to time. We all need grace and we all need forgiveness. How come we are quick to offer a girlfriend grace when she wrongs us or has an attitude, but when our husband hurts us, we hold onto that grudge for awhile? Give him some grace. Forgive him and let it go.
• Pray for him. When we are having a hard time with something, we often turn to a friend. We want her to pray for us. And when a friend turns to us in a bad time, we pray for her. Do this for your husband. If he mentions a hard situation at work, not feeling well, or a strained relationship with someone, pray with him right then and there. And continue to pray for him. He needs to know he has a praying friend in his wife.

{If you do these eight things and feel like he is not responding to your plea for friendship, keep pressing on. Don’t give up on the idea and plan for friendship. Remember that to have a friend, we must be a friend. Continue to be his friend and let God work in him.}

Think about the things that makes you close to your best friend. Look for those in your mate. And more important be those things for him.

God gave us a built in best friend the day we said “I do.”