The Grace Challenge: Grace in Managing Your Home
I felt like a defunct Christian woman when I wasn’t able to do all that I needed in order to care for my home.
Somehow I thought I was supposed to be like Martha Stewart as I tried to emulate the Proverbs 31 woman.
A perfectly decorated home. Matching linens. Coordinating baskets and such.
But there was one problem.
I was exhausted and sick, day in and day out, for years on end.
It was a struggle to keep an orderly home and all that goes with it- laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, cooking, etc. Then you throw in the mix that I’m not a domestic diva (nor do I care to be) and you’ll find a woman who felt like a complete failure on a daily basis. For years!
So I’ve learned a bit about this thing called ‘managing your home’ and how the Enemy will seek to discourage and condemn a homemaker. And ironically, I learned this lesson through my husband…
Many years ago, he and I had a conversation about my day. He asked how it was and I told him it was a great. Then I proceeded to tell him about all of the stuff I got accomplished that day in the home. I felt so accomplished and successful as a homemaker!
And that’s when he asked me something that has stuck in my mind for years to come, “Why do you equate a great day with completing tasks?” Can’t you just have a great day without marking things off of your to-do lists?
Hmmm, the man made me think.
Why did I assume that the more I accomplished in the home, the better woman I was? Jesus didn’t measure me by those standards so why did I measure myself by them?
Thought-provoking.
I quickly realized that my comparisons of others, my OCD tendencies, and my perfectionist ways were holding me captive and destroying my joy of taking care of my family. I needed to learn how to get rid of these issues.
And that’s when I found God’s grace for the homemaker.
The one who’s not good at it.
The one who doesn’t enjoy it but is obedient to serving her family anyway.
And the one who feels like a failure.
I’ve learned to embrace the people in my home over the perfection. A perfect home might look beautiful, but usually my countenance doesn’t!
I’ve had many messes and mishaps in my homemaking, but one thing I want to make sure of…that I’m a woman who is more concerned about the relationships in my home rather than the things I DO in my home.
I want my children to rise up and call me blessed, not stressed. But if I’m stressed all of the time because of the state of my home not measuring up to my standards, then essentially, I’ll push my family away from me. Who wants to be around a stressed-out woman?
Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.”Proverbs 31:28,29
Challenge:
Will you embrace God’s grace for your homemaking? No matter the mess of your home or the latest recipe that was a flop? Choose grace over discouragement!
Join me here next Wednesday for week #6: Grace in Your Ministry
Prior posts in this series:
Week #1- 7 Truths You Need to Know About God’s Grace
Week #2- Grace in Your Marriage
Week #3- Grace in Your Marriage Bed
Week #4- Grace in Your Mothering
Live a poured out life for Christ,
A defunct Christian woman. That is exactly how I’ve felt as I’ve battled thyroid problems. Some days I feel fantastic. Other days, horrible. I feel like the moment I start to gain momentum again, i have a major hormone shift and crash. It has been so frustrating. But, I’m thankful for God’s grace and for grace from my family. Thanks for sharing your story, Jolene. I can completely relate.
Oh yes, the land of ill-health is so challenging to live in! But God…He knows what we need to go through so we can be more like Him. Don’t lose heart, friend. He’s with you!
Jolene, your words never disappoint and I always feel like they were meant for me! So glad I was prompted to take time and visit today.
So glad to hear this Shannon! Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
I love this! I so need to learn to just let go of my perfect standard so to speak and enjoy my life as messy as it can be at times because my kids wont be little forever.
Yes, Regina, perfectionism can certainly rob us of our joy. Don’t let the Enemy win that battle! Enjoy your kiddos!
How do you go about “letting go” when it has been sooo long? I know that what you say is truth but HOW? I fight this battle everyday and I’m exhausted. Along with PRAYER (which is never ending) are there any “take action” suggestions for getting out of the funk?
Oh, what a great question, Lynn! Well, some quick to-do’s because I can probably write a book on this topic, would be to:
Apologize to the one you’ve offended if/when you lash out or lose it.
Read the Word on a regular basis because it is through this process that the Holy Spirit will convict and transform your heart.
Have a biblical perspective of why you do what you do. Keeping the home a certain way can definitely turn into an idol so be mindful of your motives.
Hope some of these pointers help!
I work and earn just as much as my husband, yet I am still expected to manage our home, whilst he relaxes.. Is this fair? Should I rather quit my job and stay home then?