When Your Spouse Has Sexual Fantasies about Someone Else
Everyday choices can either build a marriage or break it. Personally speaking, if I don’t bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5), it won’t take much for my self-centered, flesh-filled thoughts to hijack my mind so I make destructive choices not God-honoring ones.
Every human being on the face of this planet has to deal with their thought life. We have to wrangle our emotions and get them under control before they control us because the road to sin starts in our minds.
Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. (James 1:14,15 NLT)
One wife is dealing with her husband’s destructive thought-life in her marriage. This is her story…
Dear Jolene,
We don’t know where to turn. We have a very good marriage and love each other deeply. We enjoy one another’s company and communicate very well, probably better than most.
We are both strong believers and are active in our local church.
For the past few years, we have struggled with my husband’s fantasies during intimacy. He occasionally speaks another woman’s name during climaxes. I know this woman. I know this is hard to believe but I know this is a fantasy and not an affair. He is very remorseful after these “episodes “.
This has affected my ability to respond to my husband. I am so afraid to have sex with him because I never know when this will happen.
I do not want a divorce but I do not want to live as though we are roommates either.
It’s not like we can talk to anyone we know about this.
How would you advise us?
So, what’s a wife to do in this situation? Both Eric and I weigh in on this heavy situation.
Click below to listen.
Scripture references:
Matthew 18 Principle
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. “But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ “And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. Matthew 18:15-17
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Live a poured out life for Christ,
Jolene Engle
