What to Do When a Husband Isn’t Spiritually Leading the Home
Spiritually unequal in marriage? Husband is a prodigal? How is it that he’s still the head of the home? Or is he? This is what one wife is dealing with in her marriage. Here’s her story…
If your husband has fallen away from Jesus, Our Lord, the wife must take the lead in the household for Jesus and the religion part, right! This is a problem when one leaves the church, and becomes the prodigal son! How would you answer that?
So, what’s a girl to do?
Click below to hear my response.
When Your Faith is Deeper than Your Husband’s
10 Ways to Handle a Spiritually Unequal Marriage
Dear Weary Wife in Need of Hope
Living in a Difficult Marriage
In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. 1 Peter 3:1-6
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Live a poured out life for Christ,
This could not have come at a better time. God is confirming these things to me through this answer. Thank you for obeying God.
My personal experience for this topic is that I have been the spiritual leader at our home because my husband has never stepped into this role. I have prayed and had devotions with our children since they arrived starting 16 years ago. Now that we have teens, they don’t want to come to pray or have devotions and their first response was, well dad doesn’t. I have always prayed about this and given the opportunity I would mention how it was important to me for my husband to be a part of this time with me and our children and he would fade in and out for a while. But when my child used that as his excuse a hurt and resentment began in me toward my husband. I understand the ladies response that sometimes you must take the leadership role because someone has to.
I loved your podcast and it really spoke to me and my situation. I would love nothing more than for my husband to join me in my walk with the Lord.
I was hoping you could offer clarity for me. Currently, I’m studying my scriptures in private. My husband knows that the I have recently come back to the Lord, but is skeptical. He ‘believes in God,’ but puts the breaks on when it comes to embracing the Word and living in the Scripture. Society has taught him that it’s all hokey nonsense and all that believers want to do is bible thump anyone who isn’t like them. That is the image I’m really trying to avoid projecting to him. So instead, I pray for him, I keep my study quiet (although not completely invisible to him), and teach my children about God (he knows that we read the Bible every night before bed). This is where I need clarity. Am I disobeying the Lord when I choose to teach my children and read the Bible with them, when my husband will not? Is that taking spiritual leadership in my home? Please help me understand, and if you can, give me some guidance on how to keep God in our home without going against His will.
You are in no way being disobedient to the Lord when you teach your children about God and read the bible to them. The Lord is to be head of your household before your husband and the Bible states that we are to raise our children in His ways. You are to be submissive and obedient to your husband up to a point. If he asks you to disobey, sin or go against what you know you should be doing in God, such as teaching your children, reading your bible, going to church, then your husband is being the one in the wrong and you will need to go against his direction in that. You are obeying God in teaching your children and reading the bible to them. Good Job.
You are right on track, Kelly! Keep teaching your children the Word of God because the Lord desires Godly offspring. (Malachi 2:15) A wife is to follow her husband as unto the Lord. (Eph. 5:22) If your guy is against you reading the Bible and teaching the Word to your kiddos then you don’t follow his requests because his request is outside of the will of God. Obey God first, husband second. When it comes to the term ‘leading’ the home, I think that’s the part that tricks up many women. The husband is the head, whether he’s a good head or not. Many husbands don’t lead their families in devotions but that doesn’t mean a wife is now the spiritual leader of the home just because she is doing those things. Don’t get caught up in the title. Be humble and be an example to an unbelieving husband. Does this help?
Thank you both for your insight. To be clear, he’s not against me studying or reading to my children. He just doesn’t want to be a part of it. This is all very helpful. Thank you for all you do, Jolene. God bless.
Remember this short but effective sermon: JOY = Jesus first, O=Others next and Y=Yourself last and you will experience JOY inside! My priest taught us this years ago. God always comes first and His teachings! My husband, used to come to church with me and we attended together, even when we were first married — now 30 yrs later, he has fallen away from GOd and the church and I continue to be obedient to God and His church.
You can only encourage your husband to return and pray to God that one day he will ! We cannot fix them, only God can
change their heart!
Teach your God children too, Godparents are responsible for them to KNOW CHRIST once we get to the other side – heaven!So to anyone reading this, STAND TALL and CONTINUE TO BE A CHRISTIAN – even if it hurts …we all have our crosses to bear.
Jolene- always a joy and never less than encouraging when I get a chance to stop by! This is a topic of serious ramifications and quite frankly something I personally have been dealing with. Thank you for your no nonsense approach and always the appropriate Scripture reference.
Thanks for stopping by and for your sweet words of encouragement! Well, I’d have to say EVERY wife struggles with this issue (me included!) After all, our guys aren’t Jesus!
Wow! What a spiritual smack in the face challenge for me! If I feel that I am so much more spiritually able than my husband then I should know what I should be doing if my man isnt leading the home. I have struggled with this on and off since I’ve been married (14 years ago). I just haven been very receptive or obedient. Thanks Jolene once again for your candidness.
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