5 Steps to an Awesome Marriage

We sat around the campfire with our friends and family and that’s when I first heard our son’s thoughts on marriage. My boy proceeded to tell our adult married friend that he wanted to get married young. Our friend naturally asked him why.

I turned my mama ears toward the conversation and leaned in close hoping to hear my 13 year old son’s response.

My outspoken and highly opinionated boy emphatically replied, “Because marriage is awesome!”

I raised my eyebrows and was quite surprised to hear my boy say those words, after all, he’s with us 24/7. He sees the imperfections, the failures, the bad attitudes, the tears that fall, and the fears that sweep through our hearts. The boy has been immersed in watching my husband and I go through hard times; the chronic illnesses, the lost homes, the financial hardships, the broken relationships, and the persecutions.

So I couldn’t help but wonder what it was that we were doing that was so enticing to him. In no way, shape or form was he shielded from our reality because he doesn’t watch our lives from a distance and he certainly doesn’t read our story from behind a computer screen.

And so I pondered…

What made him think that marriage was so awesome?

What was the key ingredient that he was learning from us?

And did other teens have these thoughts too? I know I certainly didn’t think like that when I was his age!

Soon my mind drifted away from the current conversation as I took a stroll down memory lane to my own childhood.

I reflected back to what I saw regarding marriage…

Arguing was commonplace.
Discontentment was the norm.
For over 35 years, my parents never slept in the same bed.
I never heard the words, “I love you” and “I’m sorry” spoken to one another.
Divorce was always threatened.

But God…

He has a plan for us sinners.

Then I glanced back over to my boy and that’s when it occurred to me that what he sees is…

Marriage, the way God intended, works! (and yes, it just so happens to be awesome!)

God is the maker of marriage. He instituted it and He deems it as good. (A 13 year old boy just so happens to use the word ‘awesome’ instead. :))

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD. Prov. 18:22

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. Eccl. 4:9

Not only did our wise and wonderful Creator put forth a redemptive plan of salvation, but He also put forth a redemptive plan for marriage (that’s what I call it).

When God gave the commands for husbands and wives to live according to His Word, He did so because He wants us to have an awesome marriage! He knew these commands would cause our marital relationship to thrive, not just merely survive.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Eph. 5:24,25

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5:33

But we like to discount what God has to say on this subject matter because we think we know more than God.

Or we say these verses are demeaning or archaic and the Creator of the Universe certainly doesn’t know what He’s talking about. Really? Are we so filled with pride that we seriously think our loving and caring Father would want to harm us or chart out a path where we, His daughters, wouldn’t flourish? That’s just absurd thinking!

And doesn’t the Bible say that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever? Why, yes, as a matter of fact, it does say that! 🙂

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever? Hebrews 13:8

Since Jesus is the Word, then the Word can’t be archaic, now can it?

And again, the Word can’t be archaic because it’s living…

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

Live your marriage according to the Scriptures, not according to your feelings or the ways of this world. And when your marriage lines up with God’s Word….an awesome marriage is the by-product! 🙂

Yes, my boy sees the messes of our lives and he’s been told time and time again that we’re a poor reflection of the Savior, but I can only hope he sees us clinging and emulating the Lord when…

We try to say “I’m sorry” and “I love you”.

We try to be gracious to each other.

And most importantly, as we try to stand on the Word of God regardless of our circumstances and our feelings.

Now friend, if you don’t view your marriage as being awesome, please don’t get discouraged! God is in the business of transforming hearts and He gives us the Holy Spirit to guide us. Plus, a thriving marriage doesn’t happen over night! It takes a surrendered heart to the Lord’s plan for your life as well as intentionality on your part.