Following the Train of His Robe When You Can’t Really See It

It’s been awhile since I’ve showed up here because I took the summer months off from writing.  I had to go away so I could find rest and direction in order to hear the Lord speak into my life.

I do a lot of praying, seeking, and waiting for the Lord to unfold His will for this ministry since it belongs to Him and it’s for Him. Sometimes He gives me an immediate answer and other times I hear nothing.  Still waiting.  Still following Him and trusting in Him that He’ll reveal to me which path to take.

These past few months have allowed me to see and experience many things regarding this ministry that I’ve been praying about since last December.  As time has passed, the Lord is starting to reveal some of His answers.

I want to follow Him at all costs.  I try to stay close to Him.  I make sure I walk behind Him so He can protect me and guide me.  It’s a beautiful place to be really.  He might be going at a slower pace than a pace that I’d like to walk, but perhaps His slower pace is just what I need.

Or maybe He’s taking me on a path that I would be hesitant to walk- a path that I’m fearful of and one that would completely set me over the edge if He showed it to me in advance.

The good thing about following Him is that I can’t see the path, I can only see my Savior.  That’s a great place to be, don’t you think?

Yes, this process takes intentionality.  It requires trust.  Patience.  Faith.  A surrendered spirit.  But those attributes aren’t easy to come by when I’m looking at my situation rather than my Savior.

It’s been almost 4 years now when I first heard the Lord whisper to my heart, “Daughter, go write for Me.”

It was a vague request and one I ignored for a few months because I didn’t really think I was the right candidate to go write on His behalf.

But His voice got louder and I could no longer ignore what my Lord was asking me to do.  So, in March of 2011, I stepped out in faith to write for Him- my audience of One.

Several years have since passed, and honestly, I didn’t think I’d still be here doing this writing thing.  I guess in the beginning of this journey I thought I’d just show up and write for a few months and then the Lord would release me from this assignment.  But He hasn’t (and quite frankly, I’m thankful for that.) 🙂  Instead, He just continues to send me out further and further into the unknown of ministry.  And some days, this just totally freaks me out!

I can truly say that I didn’t choose to serve in this ministry but rather God chose it for me.  I’ve just tried to be obedient in answering His call- going where ever He sends me like the prophet Isaiah said:

Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:  “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”  Isaiah 6:8

But this ministry is growing in spite of my failings, shortcomings, insecurities, and lack of intentionality in trying to build it!  Sometimes I want to put the brakes on it when God is moving full speed ahead.  And the thought of it expanding completely overwhelms me, which is why I’ve been praying and seeking God’s direction.

I’m a gal who happens to like things planned out with a clear destination ahead, but the Lord doesn’t always show me a crystal clear path.  Instead, He makes me rely more on Him and less on me.  And I think that’s the way He likes it. 🙂

When God’s kids serve Him in their weaknesses, God gets all the glory.

He’s my God and He is enough.  I trust Him.  My heart belongs solely to Him and I want to give Him everything, every ounce of my being and sometimes that will require great faith on my part.  But I’m laying down my life and I’m going where He sends me even if I can’t clearly see His robe.  I’m following Him.  I’m trusting in the way He is leading me because He has my heart.

I look for the train of His robe and I see it most clearly when I read His Word.

I’m going to pursue Him to the unknown even if it’s scary and even if it’s hard.  Yes, this will require me to lose my life but I’m okay with that, after all, living for Him is the only type of life I’m interested in living.

“He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.  Matt. 10:30 NKJV

Here’s the New Living Translation…

If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it. Matt. 10:39

Now you might be asking yourself how does what you’ve just read impact you?

The posts you receive from me are now through a different 3rd party emailing system.  (Sorry for some of the glitches we’ve had this summer since it’s a new system we’ve had to learn.)

You’ve also heard me mention my new site, Christian Wife University.  When I first started that site I knew it was something the Lord wanted me to start, but initially I couldn’t see His vision, however, now He is starting to unfold His plans.

All of my future posts on marriage will be coming from Christian Wife University (CWU), because this ministry is what the Lord would like me to develop and build.  CWU is also the home of Biblical Wife Coaching, our new program that we just launched.  It will also be the home to future courses and conferences for wives. (Squeal!)

Perhaps now you’re wondering what’s going to happen to this site, JoleneEngle.com?  Nothing.  It will remain here so women can still access all of my archived posts on marriage.  I’ll still show up here from time to time to write on other topics like: Ministry, Growing in Christ, and Singleness.

Questions?  Comments?  Concerns?  I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments!

Live a poured out life for Christ,