Whether a husband has turned to pornography, embraced a path of alcoholism, computer gaming, or what-have-you, it’s hard for a wife to continue to trust her man once he’s chosen to live a life where he’s only seeking to satisfy his flesh.
What’s a wife to do in this situation?
Here’s my response to this problem via video.
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If you can’t view the video in your feed reader, you can watch it here.
One of the best things a wife can do if she’s struggling with trusting her husband is to ask him questions rather than parent him.
It’s never a wife’s role to be her husband’s mother. I KNOW there are women out there who feel like their husbands act like children, therefore, that’s why they treat them like kids. But when you take this approach in your marriage your man most likely won’t man up and lead his family. In his mind, why should he? He doesn’t feel like he can please his wife anyways.
As a wife you need to find the balance between the two: condemning him in his sin and enabling him in his sin. (My video will give you the answer to the balance needed in all marriages.)
A man needs grace (just like a woman) and he needs encouragement, not condemnation (just like a woman). But because there are dangers to the children (alcohol consumption) and porn (which is a detriment to the marriage), then boundaries need to be established so you can protect the marriage and family.
Ask him how you can encourage him in his role of a husband, father, protector, and provider.
Ask him where he needs you to extend him grace.
Ask him where he thinks it’s best for there to boundaries in the marriage/family.
And because of the areas that he’s struggling in, I’d ask him if he’d being willing to join a men’s Bible study or seek accountability from another Godly man because you don’t want to discourage him in his journey of growth.
Now, he might not have answers right away so give him time to pray and process all of this.
When you communicate this to him with the intentions of bringing God glory in your marriage and family life, rather than to make him feel like he’s not measuring up in your eyes, your man might be more apt to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord.
Let him know you want to be a gracious wife and you’re learning to grow in the Lord as well. And let him know your desire is to build him up and not tear him down.
A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1
Ask him if he’s willing to help you strive in this area of your marriage. (It’s always easier for a husband to show humility when his wife does too!) 🙂
Live a poured out life for Christ,
Need some encouragement and guidance in your marriage? Grab my latest book, Wives of the Bible: 25 Easy Lessons You Can Learn from these Imperfect Women that Will Radically Transform Your Marriage.