10 Comments

  1. My Rooster got a text message from a girl that works where he does. He came to me and told me that she texted him. He told me also that he didn’t know where she got his phone number. He talked to his supervisor at work and let him know. She had gone into his personal file and got his phone number. My Rooster let the supervisor at work handle it.

    Yes, I felt weird about it. But I trusted him to deal with the issue.

  2. While I agree with most of your “Don’t”s, I’m not in total agreement with I Don’t Have Friendships With the Opposite Sex. So does this mean I can’t be friends with my husband’s best friend or friends with my best friend’s husband? I don’t see how that is possible. I don’t confide in these people, but what how would you qualify a person of the opposite sex that you share time when you are with your spouse? Are they not your friends, as well?

    1. There’s a difference between being close friends with someone and merely being acquaintances. You can be acquaintances with people of the opposite sex. You can be nice to everyone, have conversations, etc. But you can’t be close friends and share intimate details of your life without asking for trouble. I wrote more about this on my blog (it’s my most-viewed post, too): http://lindsays-logic.blogspot.com/2012/10/opposite-sex-friendships-after-marriage.html

  3. We have certain boundaries and things in our marriage that we don’t cross.

    We don’t text or facebook message or chat on the phone with friends of the opposite sex. For example, I have men who are friends within the boundary of my marriage, but I don’t hang out with them apart from my husband and we don’t text or chat on the phone or whatever every day.

    My husband is a pastor and so often he will get a phone call or an email from a woman asking him a question about something. So he will answer the question (if he can) but they don’t sit and chat back and forth and he doesn’t confide in them, have lunch with them, etc.

    Thanks for hosting today!

  4. I learn so much from you posts, Jolene. Thank you! And like you say…give the benefit of the doubt…my husband is fond of saying “Always ascribe the best intentions to the other’s heart.” Be blessed and thanks for the link up.
    sheila

  5. My husband and I have always been able to communicate in this arena. He is a huge sci-fi fan and computer gamer. Sometimes the images in the games can be distasteful in my opinion (as they are massively targeting a male audience). Anytime I feel like I’m uncomfortable with a particular game or show or photo from an game/show/movie, etc, I tell Adam and he removes it immediately. He always checks with me first before purchasing certain things wanting to know my opinion and my preference. I also have access to his phone, desktop, laptop, and tablet so if I wanted to check something I could. I appreciate his honesty and openness with me and I do the same for him. He continually reminds me how beautiful I am, and how much he wants me and no one else. This does wonders for boosting my confidence. He leans over to kiss and say he loves me when we see another beautiful woman in public, or it comes across on the TV or during a movie. I also strive to sort out marital issues with him first and between God and I before I ever consider bringing someone else into the matter. I had a bad habit of running to my family and my friends to complain when things weren’t working when Adam and I were first married. I don’t do that anymore. These are things we do to protect our marriage. We also trust one another, knowing we can ask each other questions if we need to. Both of us have been trustworthy and faithful in our relationship leading to more trust and more fidelity.

    When I feel even a hint of jealousy or when I feel my husband is neglecting me, I remind myself that my beauty and worth aren’t in my husband. They are wrapped up in Jesus Christ. And I know I can always go to my husband and tell him I need to feel his love and know that he loves, values, respects, appreciates me and finds me gorgeous. He’s always eager to comply!

  6. I think your suggestion that men and women can’t be friends is out of line. If you can’t control yourself around people of the opposite gender, then sure. However, if you’ve had friends of both sexes for years it doesn’t make any sense for you to not have friends of the opposite gender just because you got married. Things like this are why so many marriages have resentment in them. Of course, this is just my opinion. Be blessed.

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