To a woman it sounds like a deadly word.
A belittling word.
A word that can make you feel like you live in a cage.
A word that makes you angry.
A word that could leave you feeling like a second-class citizen.
Yet, that is not what the word means, nor how God intended it to mean in the Bible. Of course the enemy comes and distorts the truth, just like he did when he tempted Jesus during His 40 days in the wilderness. Satan has done the same thing with the meaning of submission. Unfortunately, many Christian men and women have also bought into the lie… hook, line and sinker.
This brings me to the reason why I am writing this post.
I recently spent some time the other day in an online, public forum (non-Christian, btw) and it was an interesting time, to say the least. Now, I usually don’t spend much of my time in forums because of the time factor involved, but this forum was different. This forum had my post, the 3 Types of Wives posted within a group, and let me tell you….it raised all sorts of eyebrows! Women were bent out of shape that I would even think to say that the husband was to be the head of the home! I am sure they viewed my post as if I was some weak-minded woman who had no opinion and one who was being controlled by my husband. That’s just funny to write. To think of me like that. It’s hilarious….I am sure those that know me personally are laughing out loud as well. 🙂
Now, not all women disagreed with what I had to say or what the Bible had to say for that matter, but there were certainly those that had some serious issues over the post. Many expletives were used for me, the post, Christianity, the Bible, and of course, God Himself! It drew quite a bit of comments. The last time I checked, it was @ 200!
And of course, me being me….I had to chime in. 🙂 I promise though, I was doing my best to be kind and gracious remembering Who I was representing, yet, I still stood firm on the Word of God. I made a few friends too. Really. I am not being sarcastic this time!
But what I found to be the biggest issue that didn’t go over so well in the forum was the whole submission thing and the man being the head of the household. Let me remind you that this particular forum is not a Christian forum, although there were Christians who were in it. If you have followed my blog for any length of time, you obviously know I write from a Biblical perspective to encourage Believers in the Lord Jesus Christ. It is all about the Lord over here at JoleneEngle.com. So, in a nutshell, my post, the 3 Types of Wives, went over like a lead balloon in the forum.
Now, on to my point.
I realize there are some reading this post that are Believers, and you yourself have a hard time with submission, as well as your husband being the head of the household, especially if you think he is an idiot. I get that. I understand your viewpoint.
Know that my voice is very loud and stern as I say these words.
God’s Word is true.
God’s Word is true.
God’s Word is true.
Let me ask you this. Do you know what the beginning of wisdom?
If you don’t know the answer/verse and you’re married, then I encourage you to memorize it because it will help you to have a better marriage!
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments. His praise endures forever. Psalm 111:10
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 9:10
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7
I don’t know about you, but I don’t care to be a fool in God’s eyes. If others think I am a fool, I’m okay with that. It’s not them that I will be standing before when my life here on earth is over. It will be the King of Kings, the Great I Am, the Prince of Peace, the Almighty God.
Here’s the deal. Everyone’s knee is going to bow to the Lord at some point. His Word says it.
I choose now to bow.
I choose now to submit because it is the Lord Jesus Christ that I am ultimately submitting to.
Here’s what submission is. It is a willful thing. It is without resistance. It is you choosing to yield. One can not force you to submit because that is not the definition of the word. If you are forced, then you are being bullied. Point blank.
Look at your relationship with the Lord for a better understanding so you can apply this principle to your marriage.
Is God forcing you to follow Him?
Is God forcing you to love Him?
Is God forcing you to serve Him?
I am sure your answer is no to all of those questions.
Take that same heart attitude and apply it to your husband and the concept of submission.
Now has your view of submission changed in any way? Perhaps your perspective has been tweeked just slightly?
Lots of women in the forum had a skewed view of submission as well. Many had thoughts that the wife needed to be quiet and passive because I wrote that the wife was to submit to her husband. That’s a biblical principle by the way. I didn’t just make it up. They took that as meaning the woman didn’t have a mind of her own, couldn’t think for herself, didn’t have her own opinion, and God forbid if she had a strong personality! By the way, I am the epitome of all those attributes. Just ask my husband. Yet, I, being that type of woman, I choose to submit. Go figure that one.
Then there was the big issue about the man being the head of the woman. They weren’t willing to let their husband lead because they were brighter. They were insulted by such an idea. They felt they were the more intelligent of the two and they would do a better job as the leader of the home, or they felt there didn’t need to be a head in their marriage.
Here’s what I have to say about all of that…
They are wrong and they are deceived and I feel sorry for them. I truly do feel sorry for them because they are missing out on a wonderful marriage; the kind, God, the Creator of the Universe, intended.
God is no dummy. He knew what He was doing when He said in His word,
But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3
In any relationship, organization, institution, etc., you need a final authority. God established that final authority in your home to be your husband, even if he isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Remember, it is the Lord who appointed him as the head of your home. Now, before these words are taken out of context (smile) what I am trying to say here is this: as you and your husband discuss the issues that are before you, it is NOT WRONG to express your opinions, thoughts, and ideas. Quite the opposite in fact. You should be sharing your heart because you and your husband are one. That’s what God desires in your marriage.
If you are struggling with some of the poor decisions that your husband has made or you don’t think he can figure life out without you leading, trying praying first before you open your mouth to tell him he is not measuring up to your standards. Again, it’s all about your heart attitude here.
As a reminder to my critics, this is a blog post, not a marriage book. I can’t expound on every little detail I write, although I am prepared for those who do tear it apart, for those of you who don’t, I thank you in advance for your graciousness.
Let me close with this.
You are ultimately submitting to the Lord when you follow His Word for your marriage.
And NO, you are not an idiot if you submit to your husband, quite the contrary, in God’s eyes you are very wise.
Remember, the Lord is the BEST MARRIAGE COUNSELOR and He doesn’t even have a degree nor does He charge you by the hour. Don’t buy into the world’s garbage of how your marriage should be, after all, it is God who created the institution of marriage in the first place.
For more on Biblical Submission, grab my free ebook, A Wife’s Guide to Understanding Biblical Submission.
Live a poured out life for Christ,