How I Got Beyond My Identity Crisis

“Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God’s people. 1 Peter 2:10 (NLT)

I have struggled with my identity for well over 30 years.  Today, I’m now in my mid-forties and hopefully what I’ve learned will help you with who you really are.

The three little words, “Who am I” have woven their way through my heart and mind at a very young age.  I believe my identity crisis started long before it should have since I didn’t feel like I fit in or belonged with my adoptive family.  Everyone looked alike, except for me and they all shined in the area of athletics and I did not! Clearly I was the different one in the bunch.

But as I got older, I found my sweet spot in life.  I shined in the area of business and the ‘career woman’ became my identity.  It became who I was.  My persona, if you will.

But then one day I met Jesus and He became my Savior.  Things took a drastic change in my world, not only in my worldview, but in my view of me.

This proud, highly sufficient, and capable young business woman got fired from her job.  Wait, what?  I shared in confidence to a ‘friend’ of mine that I needed to look for a new job because of some health challenges I was facing.  Next thing I know, I’m getting fired from my job because what my friend shared in confidence to my boss.  I was flabbergasted over what took place.

Not only was I stunned I got fired, but I felt betrayed by my ‘friend’.  Even more so when I learned that she applied for my position!  She didn’t get it, by the way.  Yeah, I did a happy dance when I heard that news.

So, there I sat bewildered over all that took place in my life.  At the time, I was only a Christian for about 5 months. I was alone.  Jobless.  And friendless.

Who I was was now gone.  What I thought was my identity was now stripped from me.  I felt completely humiliated and worthless based on my circumstances.

But I figured I’d just pull up my bootstraps and replace my old job with a new one and life would go on with me being ‘the career woman’.  However, God saw fit to not allow this to happen.  Thank goodness! Instead, He taught me some important lessons about who I was in Him, not who I was in my skill set or in the roles I filled in life.

Whether you fill the role of a single woman, wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, woman in ministry, or woman in the workforce, all of these positions are merely roles.  Our roles are not our identity.

What defines the Christ follower is laid out in the Bible, not what’s laid out in our to-do list, job description, or our social media status.

Satan so easily distorts something good, like our roles, talents, and abilities, and he uses them to distract us from the Truth-which is what defines you and me.

Our identity is not found in our past, our present, our positions, or our performance.  It’s found in our personal Savior, Jesus Christ.

This is what the Bible has to say about who you are:

5 Attributes of Who You Are

1. Child of God

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. John 1:12,13

2. Heir to the Throne

Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir. Gal. 4:7

3. Adopted

For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”  Romans 8:15

4. A Royal Priesthood

But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9 (NLT)

5. Chosen

We know, dear brothers and sisters, that God loves you and has chosen you to be his own people. 1 Thes. 1:4 (NLT)

You and I have done nothing to obtain these attributes.

We didn’t apply for them.

We didn’t sign up to serve in a particular area.

We simply, ‘are’ them.  Isn’t that such a freeing statement. We can simply rest in being daughters of the King.  There are no performance evaluations that God is going to give us based on who we are in Christ.

Now here’s my point in sharing all of this with you…

If we’re not rooted and grounded in who we are in Christ, then there’s a good chance that either fear or pride will govern our hearts, our minds, our choices, and our attitudes. 

Fear or pride can motivate us to hide or try to be someone other than the woman Christ made us to be.

Did you catch that? We’ll either start wearing a mask or wearing a cape!

• Wearing a mask is fear-based.
• Wearing a cape is pride-based.
• Both of these motives are sin-based.

These two counterfeits weigh us down and trip us up as we pursue the race God has set before us.

We need to get rid of the mask and/or cape because we are created in Christ Jesus for good works, not self-works or no-works.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Eph. 2:10 (NLT)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. Hebrews 12:1 (NLT)

Respond:

Do you have more of a tendency to rest in who you are based on your roles and abilities, or based on what the Bible says about you?

Live a poured out life for Christ,

Jolene Engle