Marriage Challenge

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1. some really mean and hrfutul things to my girlfriend. I even accused her of cheating and told her I wanted to get a DNA test on the baby. My girl is not the kind to cheat either, she is a great and good girl. Very responsible, serious, respectful, beautiful, the perfect package. Anyways we had a long talk about why I didn’t trust her. I really did trust her, its just that I was mad about other stuff and for some reason I don’t know how to express how I am feeling so I just get mad about other stuff. I took my anger out on her. I know how wrong and despicable I am because I needed to be more considerate of her because she is pregnant and very sensitive at this time. Treating her this way can be very dangerous.Anyways on the day after, she told me about how she cried all night and the she didn’t want to be with me anymore. I begged her to take me back like a pathetic fool and she kept saying no. I told her to tell me that she doesn’t love me anymore and I would leave her alone and she said no because she still does love me and she can’t tell me a lie about how she feels. She said that she would take me back if we kept our relationship a secret and I said no because that made me feel like she was ashamed of me. She then told me that she needed time. I called her that night and she told the same things. Anyways I sent her a week of teddy bears with roses and very nice chocolates and apologetic love letters. On about the third day she got online and I talked to her and she said that everything was very nice and that she liked but she can’t take me back because she would feel like a dumbass and that her family would talk sh*t about her because they found out about the situation. I kept begging her and she kept saying no and she said she is never going to forgive and never going to take me back. I told her that I had changed for real and that my eyes were open and things would be different but she won’t beleive me because I have made this promise before. I kept pleading with her and she told me that I was driving her nuts, that she made her myspace again (she deleted it before because we would get mad about each others myspace, this will have significance later)to leave her alone, and to never speak to her again.On the fifth and final day of gifts, which was a plush sad sam puppy stuffed animal with roses and a sad note, I told her brother (who has been helping me out the whole time) to tell his sister to get online so I could tell her something important and real short and that it would not make her mad. She got on and I told her that I agreed with her decision to end our relationship. She asked me why and I told her that I understood that this is what she wanted and I have to respect that. I apologized to her for bothering her and acting so crazy after the break up. I told her that I didn’t wanted to be friends with her and that to not worry about the kid that I am going to support it no matter what and that if she ever needed help with anything that I would have her back no matter what. She said thank you that is what I want. She said that she doesn’t know if we going to be in the future together and I was like ok that’s cool not really showing interest and I told her goodbye and take care and signed off right away. After I signed off she said goodbye take care like two minutes after I signed off, meaning I think she kept looking at the screen thinking about it. Anyways, I prayed to God after that and i asked him to help me out with this problem with my girl.The strangest thing happened later that night. She called me really late at night and when my mom gave me the phone I said hey how are you? she said good and I said good and immediately she said Jayson I love you I still love you alot. I couldn’t hold my feelings for her and I told her that I love her too. She thanked me for all the gifts she had been recieving and said she really loved the sad sam puppy that she received. I couldn’t hold back and told her that I still wanted to be with her and that I wanted to have a family with her. I told her I wanted to take care of her and our child. I apologized and I said that I really am cI apologized and I said that I really am changed and that if she gave me another chance that I could make her happy. She told me she wants to be with me and that she doesn’t want anyone else. I kept apologizing and I told her that what really hurt me the most was not that she left but that I hurt her and that the one thing in the world that makes me feel good is when I know that she is smiling and feeling good because of something that I did to or for her. I told her that it wasn’t that I needed her but that I wanted her. We talked for like an hour and I know this is a mistake but I love her and she has my child I can’t play these break up games with this girl because the stakes are so much higher. Well we talked on the phone for like an hour and we just kept telling each other about how wemiss each other and love each other and want to be with each other and telling each other about what has been happening in our lives this week. I asked her if her myspace said she was single and she said no that she didn’t want to change it. That the only reason why she put it back up was to check for messages from friends and family. She asked me why I deleted mine and I told her that I did so because it was distracting me from doing what I need to be doing and from my training by the way I forgot to mention that I am going to marines bootcamp in like three weeks. She said that she would really think about getting back with me this time and that she was really considering it, but she doesn’t want what has already happened to happen again. She just doesn’t want to get hurt again. I am really hoping we get back together.Do you think that we are going to get back together? What should I do in the meantime? Do I call her and leave her messages telling her how much I love her or do I leave her alone and give her time to think and some space? Did I give in too easy when she called me? I’m so confused right now and I’m scared of losing her. Please, any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you ladies.

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