When the Roles are Reversed in a Godly Marriage (Part 2)

If you missed Part 1 of this post, you’ll want to take the time to read my story so you’ll know where I’m coming from.

Today I’m discussing some how-to’s regarding this sensitive topic.

So what can you do when the roles are reversed in your marriage?

1. Talk with your man.  Share your heart with him.  Let him know how you’d like to stay at home and take care of him and the family.
2. If it’s not something that is financially feasible at this time, ask him when you can start to transition towards this goal.
3. Make a goal towards this type of lifestyle.  Write down what it will take for you to stay home and commit to this plan.  Scale back on your spending and your lifestyle choices.
4. If your man is not working at all, ask him when he thinks you can quit your job. Yes, this will put a little pressure on him, (which may cause him to rise to the occasion)  but you can say it in a way where you still think highly of him and he doesn’t think you’re attacking him.  Most men don’t like feeling useless and when they’re out of a job, this is how many of them feel!  Let him know you want to stay home and take care of him regardless of how big or small his income is.
5. If quitting your job and him getting a job is not something that will take place anytime soon, then talk with him about your home life.  Let him know you have a tendency to stress out and freak out when you come home to a house that’s a mess.  Let him know how you’re designed to tend to the home and that’s why it bothers you so much when things are not done around the house.  And if you’re lacking intimacy in your marriage, let him know it’s one of the reasons why you’re too tired or don’t want to want to have sex.  Yes, this might get his attention!  Put a plan of action together for the running of the home so you don’t feel like you have to do it all.  By the way, you doing it all is not good for your marriage, I don’t care what society has to say about that!  You’ll be at odds with your husband when you have to juggle too many plates.  Tell your man this and let him know you don’t want to be angry, bitter, or resentful towards him, but rather, you want to enjoy each other like you did before you married.  After the two of you have laid out a plan for the home, you’ll need to be extremely gracious towards your husband when he doesn’t do the things exactly like you do.  In other words, don’t micro-manage him and learn to let things go.
6. If it is a desire of yours, as well as a possibility, then get out of the workforce as soon as you can.  This will help both of you to thrive in your God-given roles rather than the two of you just merely surviving in your marital and family life.  Your marital relationship is more important than money in the bank.
7. Pray without ceasing.  Pray for the Lord to give you the patience and strength to endure the workplace if it’s not His timing for you to come home and pray for your husband to be sensitive and understanding towards your heart’s desire to be a keeper of the home.

For those of you that don’t have the option of getting out of the workforce for whatever reason, remember that God has a plan for your life.  Don’t grow weary or become discouraged because there is a purpose for why He has you on this path. Remember, He works all things together for good. (Romans 8:28)

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.  Colossians 3:23,24

Prior posts in the Helping Your Husband to Lead series:

• 14 Reasons Why a Husband Doesn’t Lead His Home
• Helping Your Husband to Lead When He Doesn’t Know How
• Helping Your Passive Husband to Lead
• When He Doesn’t Want to Lead
• When You Don’t Want to Let Your Husband Lead
• When the Roles are Reversed in a Godly Marriage

Now how about you, friend.  Have you ever struggled with the roles being reversed in your marriage? What have you done to overcome this problem?

Live a poured out life for Christ,

I’m linking up with:  Time-Warp Wife