The #1 Secret to a Great Marriage
It’s the most simplest concept you’ll ever hear, yet it’s the most difficult thing to do on a daily basis!
So…….. what’s this one little secret that will make your marriage great?
Die to self.
Yep, that’s it. I know it’s not what you wanted to hear. (Perhaps you were hoping the answer would be a new husband? Well, of course I’m not going to advocate that, but I can teach you how to influence him!) Truth be told, it’s not what I want to hear sometimes as well. In fact, there are times when the Holy Spirit is convicting me and telling me to do something and I just want to stick my fingers in my ear and say, “la, la, la…I can’t hear you!” But I know I’ll be blessed as a result of that whole die to self thing!
So….
Die to your pride.
Die to your self-centered rights.
Die to your sense of entitlement.
The more you die to yourself and lay down your life, the better your marriage will become. It’s an odd concept, I know. In fact, this is the LAST thing the world would tell you to do, yet these were the words that Jesus left with His disciples just before His death:
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34, 35
So what does love look like? Is it just warm fuzzy feelings and romantic notions that you once had for your man. No, of course not. Love is an action and the best way to express it is by showing your husband how you love him.
“So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” Romans 8:8
Ouch! That’s a convicting scripture, isn’t it?
For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. Galatians 5:13
You can’t die to self all on your own. You need the help of the Holy Spirit to give you strength as He moves you toward righteousness.
I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. Galatians 5:17 Okay, now I’m feeling a little bit better!
Now how about you, friend. Are you willing to die to self to better your marriage? I know you’ll be blessed if you do!
Need some more encouragement and guidance in your marriage? Join me at the Wisdom for Wives On-line Conference!
Live a poured out life for Christ,
Jolene
Sadly, this is part of my biggest struggle in my marriage, along with respect and submitting. I agree with the Bible and all of these things. It’s just that I’m an an independent, only child raised by a hurt single mother (shes operating in a classic Jezebel spirit, disrespecting my husband) and I didnt marry until 36 yrs old… This has been very very difficult for me to APPLY in my life. There are so many bad habits that I am finding very difficult to break. Thank God my husband that understands but it is still very very hard for him to not lose patience over this. Help!
Hi Star, I feel you; I was also raised a single child and my parents had (what I felt like) the worst divorce avaliable. Thing is, we ride our own horse as we live our own lives, and habits are not easy to break but acquireing conscience about them is easier. If it helps, I tello you; in order to change my life I got therapy to heal myself, I registered everything I did and felt and how I reacted, and asked what was hidden behind them. That clears a path where you know what and why you are doing certain things, so you can stop doing them. Before having patience with any husband, we need patience with our healing process. What I mean is that although at first I did not want to get married, I realized what I did not want was the concept my family had about marriage. So I needed to heal, forgive and get a clear view of what a christian marriage is. I really hope it gets better. 🙂