Why the Bible Calls Me the Weaker Vessel…& a Link Up!
When I was a single gal and new in the Lord I was going through the Bible learning what the Word had to say about being a godly wife. As I read the following verse in 1 Peter, I must say I was rather insulted by it!
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7
What? Why would I be a weaker vessel? I’m just as strong as a man. I’m independent and I can take care of myself!
Then I started to date my man and that’s when the Lord began to dish me out some humble pie. And to this day I still don’t like the taste of that stuff.
There are several areas in marriage where husbands can be stronger than their wives and today I’m going to share on 3 of them.
Physically
My Beloved and I had been dating for maybe two weeks and we decided to go on a hike. While on our trek we came to a stream that needed to be crossed. Well, my man, being a gentleman crossed the stream and said to me,
“Here, give me your hand and step on my foot as you cross over.”
In my mind I said this, “Well, I’m a woman and I can get across this itty-bitty stream just fine and I don’t need your help!”
With a sweet smile on my face I politely declined his offer. Then I stepped across to the rock and my foot slipped on the slimy thing and I fell straight into the stream. My boots, socks and pant legs were soaking wet. Now had I allowed my man to help me I would have stepped on his foot rather than the slippery rock. But not me. I was too strong-willed, self-sufficient, and most certainly a woman who didn’t need help from some man. Oh, how I had much to learn.
A few months later we were serving in an outreach handing out school supplies for underprivileged youth. I’m about to lift a pallet of 3-ring binders and take them down off the truck bed when my man offered his help again.
“Let me get those,” he said.And in my mind I said, “What? I workout. I’m strong. I can handle this myself. Backup man!”Again, with a sweet smile on my face I politely declined his offer of help. Then I turned to the binders and I started to remove the box. As soon as I had the entire weight of the binders in my arms I completely dropped them! There wasn’t even the slightest bit of struggle to hold them because they were so incredibly heavy. One would think that I purposefully moved them off the other pallets just so I could throw them in the air. Binders flew out of the plastic wrapping and were now everywhere. I felt utterly ridiculous and embarrassed. I looked at my man and gave him a weak laugh as I knew the word, ‘fool’, was written on my forehead.
In my mind I thought. “Next time I’ll let him help me.”
Well, that didn’t happen.
Now we were married for about 3 months. I was in the hospital recovering from surgery to my cervix. The anesthesia was wearing off and I was starting to get out of bed so I could go home. The nurse looked at me and told me to just get some more rest, and my man said,
“Do you want a trashcan to throw up in?”
Apparently the color on my face didn’t scream supermodel.
I politely declined his offer of help as usual. I proceeded to get out of bed and my Beloved came to my side to help me get up.
“I’m fine,” I said. And as soon as the word ‘fine’ came out of my mouth so did a bunch of vomit all over his shoes!
I obviously wasn’t fine.I was starting to learn that physically speaking he was stronger than I was especially as we moved into the next 10 years of my own chronic illnesses. Weak and feeble were the words that would have described me best.
Mentally
He could handle the financial affairs of our business and personal accounts much better than I could. Being that he was self-employed, it was challenging to say the least to figure out how much income we would receive each month. So I’d always stress out over paying the bills. It would keep me up at night and eventually I’d just freak out over the pressure. Even though I spent many years in the business world and prided myself on being a strong career woman, my man was just so much more level-headed and mentally tougher than I was.
Emotionally
I thought I was one tough chick, but I was wrong again, as usual. On numerous occasions my man handled family, friends, frienemies, and ministry issues much better than I did. He didn’t get nearly bent out of shape and all emotional like I did. He handled things with much more composure than I ever would. I’d just get off the phone and cry or throw an angry fit over the situation. He, on the other hand would be very diplomatic, yet firm. I saw time and time again how his emotions were much more controlled than mine were.
So after all these years, I’ve come to a conclusion. God does know what He’s talking about when He referred to wives as being the weaker vessels. After all, God made man’s shoulders bigger than a woman’s for a reason. It’s because they can handle carrying more than we can.
Sometimes we get caught up in doing everything by ourselves, yet marriage is not designed to be that way. Husbands are to dwell with us with understanding, but sometimes our men don’t know how to do this because we show them that we are fine and that we’ve got everything under control. Well, from one wife to another, we all know that just ain’t the truth! We freak out. We cry. We eat chocolate. And maybe we’d just like to slap someone from time to time.
Now of course not all men will have the same strengths that my husband has and not all wives will have the same many weaknesses that I have. The purpose of pointing out this passage of scripture is to remind you that God fashioned your man to be stronger than you in some ways.
As you go through life with your husband, don’t be afraid to let him know you can’t handle certain things. By him knowing your weaknesses this will give him insight in how to dwell with you and it also helps him to minister to you. We’re designed to work together and lift each other up.
4 Ways to Help Your Husband Dwell with You
- Communicate to your man that you need his help. I know, I know, you’ll have to swallow your pride on this one.
- Let him know you welcome his help and appreciate it.
- Let him intervene with your problems but do not criticize him for the way he is handling the situation. If you let him know he’s not doing it right, be prepared for him to stop helping you.
- If you’ve developed a relationship with your husband where you are doing everything and he no longer offers to help you, then eat some humble pie. Wave your white, ‘I surrender flag’, and let him know you need him. A little bit of honesty, humility, and sincerity can go a long way in your marriage.
Your relationship, your one flesh union with your husband will grow stronger as a result of him learning to dwell with you. Welcome him to be the hero to his damsel in distress.
Live a poured out life for Christ,
Now bloggers, it’s time to link up your posts!
I’m looking for posts on any and all things related to being a wife, i.e. homemaking ideas, ways you minister to your husband, dating ideas, and/or hearing what the Lord is telling you about your most important earthly relationship!
Link back to this community, either by using the button below or a text link. Link to your actual “Marital Oneness Mondays” post, not just your general blog address–that way if readers come by later in the week, they can click your relevant post.
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Lessons from Ivy, Unveiled Wife,
Great Article! I used to be offended by that verse too. But I’ve come to realize it’s a blessing, and there are certain things we can do because we are the weaker vessel, not just in spite of it. Like comfort and support our husbands for example.
Thanks Misty. And yes, that verse IS a blessing!
Misty, you make it sound like all we can do because we’re weak vessels is pat our husbands on the back and give him whatever he wants. That doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship to me.
And Jolene, I seriously doubt that men carry more on their shoulders than women. We’re the ones that have to go through the pain of having the children and responsible for most of their care and growing. We’re the ones that are expected to cook and clean and be pretty and perfect despite what goes on during our day simply to please the one who wears a tie. We’re the one that is expected to swallow our pride and get over ourselves and “submit” despite that we may be better at some things than the almighty man. We’re the ones that have been programed to feel so deeply and ridiculously. We’re the ones with the disadvantages physically, culturally, and even religiously. We are not the weaker vessels. We are different. And I am not convinced that God said this. It was written by Peter, a human author with opinions, experiences, up-bringing, and cultural prejudices. I have a seriously hard time believing that God would mark women as “weak” when we are the ones that have to have our bodies ripped to shreds to bring life into this world and then have our hearts live outside us for the rest of our lives.
u are not a weaker vessel but a chosen generation don’t be emotionally manipulated.there is no difference between man and wopm an in Gods eyes God created us to support one another not to dishonor one another or undermine our gifts either physically or spiritually,there is no greater gift for a man than a woman who acceptys Jesus as their Lord and savior than life and everlasting.The whole world is guilty of sin and when u confess your sins before God u r no longer a subject of sin Christ is now in your head.a physical man is bneither God or Jesus u don’t pray in the name of a man remember bin the head of a house is an office.if Jody has personal experiences she is entitled to wateva she feels not evry woman is her buit its left to u wat u decideher humble pie is that she lacks many gift and a level of intelligence and finds a man coming to her rescue doesn’t justify everyone is like her.i know many intelligent and woman more clever than many men and women.afterall they are not idols or Godthey are just humans like us .there is no reason for stigmatization..a guy insulted me one day with the name eve I wasn’t just angry but I remember ppl taught him what he said.he said to me u r merely her offspring.well that’s what he was taught in church.most ppl forget that that same bible u read says there is no difference between the jew and gentiles,male or female,masters or slave.,does that mean slavery is good?no,does dat mean stigma is good,but so that we may humble ourselves cos Christ also took our place so that we may be one with him.Randee u r a chosen child,u can heal the sick even open the eyes of the blind u r noit ordinary infact u r more than a ordinary man who ius merely physical.u r not a weaker vessel until u AGREE U ARAE COS A WEAKER VESSEL IS SOMEONE WITH AN BROKEN WALL WHO LACKS SELF CONTROL A PERPTRATOR OF WRONG DOING,A POOR DECISION MAKER,A DISORDERLY PERSON,SO WHICH ONE DO U CHOOSE IN ORDER TO BE HUMBLE,jESUS CONQUERED HIS WEAKNESS BE LIKE HIM That’s why he came.i dnt choose my genmder neither will I take blame of eve or adam but admitting am a sinnerand confessing my sins makes me perfect in Gods sight.its not by power nor by might but by the spirit of God.ur unque and special u dnt look exactly like me,no physical man can even do wat u do as a woman.u r a child of God.be wise dnt let bloggers and respondents define who u are pick edifyiong verses of Gods word.God bless u Dearly
in gospel we correct and rebuke in love infact we don’t dishonor imperfect leaders we do everything with a clear conscience most importantly we don’t undermine each other.men don’t need to brag over women and women don’t need to .all our gift were given to us as a blessing and a special purpose.The bodies of women are unique that men will never be them no matter or they try ,so no need for muscle bragging its not bible minded as well women don’t need to prove something to men.God created men and women as companions not competitors remember.i don’t need the bad examples of anyones life cos I read my bible and I understand it properly that we are all images of God.A man cannot create a woman neither CAN A WOMAN CREATE A MAN.INFACT OUR PHYSICAL GIFTS HELPS US TO UNITE NOT TOO SEE OUR SELF DFT FROM EACH OTHER,SO GET IT jODY WE NEED EACH OTHER ITS A SIMPLE PHRSE THAT DOESNT IDOLISE ANY BODY.THATS THE NATURE OF gOD,WE ARE ALL gODS CHILDREN THEDECEIVER WILL BE JUDGED THEN WE WILL ALL BE LIKE ANGELS SO NEXT TIME PLEASE EDIFY DONT BRING UP THINGS THAT MAKES PPL GIVE UP ON gODS WORD.aM A CHILD OF FAITH ,I WILL RATHER TEACH FAITH THAN MERELY QUOTING SCRIPTURES LIKE A TRADITION AND TELL PPL TO SHAKE OFF THAT NAME WEAKER VESSEL, I WILL NEVER CALL ANYONE THAT NAME NEITHER MY SELF COS ITS A DEMEANING NAME AND IT DOESNT HONOUR THE BEARER OR THE GOD,I WILL TEACH LOVE IN SUCH WAY THAT SHOWS SENSITIVITY.I DONT HAVE TO BE A MAN BEFORE I FEEL PERFECT OR KNOW MY PLACE IN CHRIST BUT ADMITTING AM A SINNER4 AND CCOMING TO GOD MAKES MY LIFE A GREATER VESSEL.SUBMISSION IS NOT JUST A WORD BUT DOING WHAT GOD WANTS WITHOUT FEAR OF MAN.TEACH LOVE NOT JUST OBLIGATIONS WE KNOW PPL LIKE THE WORD SUBMISSION BUT CHRIST WAS NEVER A DICTATOR BUT HE KNEW DESPITE HE WAS SUBMISSIVE HE DID NOT SUBMIT TO THE WAYS OF MEN.TEACH RIGHTEOUNESS
God has changed me over the years as well. How I wish we could learn these lessons early and not have to struggle so much, but sometimes we must fall, and fall hard, for us to listen. I’m trying to teach my daughters these lessons now so maybe it will be a bit easier on them. Thanks for the reminders.
Always Experiencing Him,
Jody
Hi Jody,
That is so great that you are teaching your daughters this early on! Yes, things should be a bit easier for them. 🙂
Jolene, I see what you’re saying here, but I have to politely disagree. I believe that God does not call us the “weaker vessel” because our men are stronger than us (what about my cousin’s husband, who has congenital spinal issues?), or better able to handle finances and all of the details that go into money and resource management (I handle those in our home, with my husband’s 100% support and appreciation because I do it well and it stresses him out exactly as you described it affects you, above), or because they are more emotionally balanced that we are (what about the husbands who struggle with depression?). I read a sermon once that addressed this question, and did it very well, and this was not at all the reasoning, and this reasoning was in fact used as example of what this passage doesn’t mean. I’m sorry that I cannot in this moment remember exactly what the sermon gave as the reason, but it was an ah-hah moment for me, and I would encourage you to look into this issue a little more for yourself, and for your readers.