Becoming a Godly Mom

When I gave birth to my firstborn and they placed that baby on my lap, I thought to myself, I’m the wrong person to be caring for a life.  A life?  Really?  What was I thinking when I said I wanted to have kids.  It’s not like they’re a dog.  No, they’re a human being!  All those thoughts ran through my mind.

Not too long after we brought our baby boy home I soon found out how unprepared I was to be a mother (and I was almost 30 years old!)  My son cried and cried and cried.  He was fed.  Changed.  Clothed.  And we put him down in his crib and he cried some more.  We stood there like the typical, first-time, anxious parents hovering over the crib thinking the worst about our son.

My husband asked me, “What’s wrong with him?  Is he okay?”

My response, “I don’t know?”

And then he said, “Well, you’re the mom, don’t you have that motherly instinct?”

Nope.  I’ve got nothin’, I replied.

Yeah, I felt like a total failure of a mom that day and my son was only 3 days old!

That baby boy is now 14 years old and I must say this mothering thing has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  And I’m so serious about that!  Goodness, I ran a company when I was only 26 years old and I answered to a Board of Directors!  Being a businesswoman was a cakewalk compared to being a mom.

So here I was, a new mom and a relatively new Christian back in 1999.  I so desperately wanted to raise my kids up in the Lord, but I didn’t know how.  I wasn’t raised with hearing Bible verses from my parents, or singing church songs, or even reading the Bible.  Sure, my mama raised me to have some morals and values but having Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior was not a concept I grew up with.

The fear and doubt overtook my mind.  I couldn’t help but wonder how on earth would I pass on a spiritual heritage to my children when one wasn’t passed on to me?  Would they follow the Lord when they got older?  Would they reject the Christian faith we taught them?  Questions.  I had a lot of them.

Now I must say, that in spite of me lacking a Christian upbringing, as well as me lacking the motherly instinct and nurturing heart, the Lord, in His faithfulness, is producing Godly young men in my household.  I’ve often wondered how that has happened, seeing how I’ve often lost my mind raising those boys!

Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!  Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints!  There is no want to those who fear Him.  The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing. Psalm 34:8-10

I’ll share a simple tip that I’ve done as a mom over these last 14 years to help minister to your mommy heart…

One Simple Tip to Becoming a Godly Mom

Give the Lord your heart.  Be fully surrendered to Him.  Submit to His headship in your life and most definitely He’ll transform your heart into that Godly mom you desire to be, whether you’ve been raised up in a Christian home or not. Exhale, mama.  Now you can relax. 🙂

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves as mothers.  Well, at least I do.  It’s in our nature to want to give our kids the best and give them better than what we had.  And Jesus…well, He’s the best and when we get more of Him in our hearts, He’ll naturally spill into the lives of our children.  He is exactly what they need.

Be patient, mama.  In due time you’ll see that Godly fruit being produced in your children.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.  Phil. 1:6 (NLT)

Now you might be surprised that I’m writing on motherhood seeing how I’ve spent the last couple of years of this on-line ministry writing on marriage.

Here are a couple of reasons why I shy away from this topic….

1.  It’s much easier to write on marriage, after all, I am my husband’s lover, encourager, and his help mate.  I’m not his mother.  I’m not responsible for the shaping of his life nor am I responsible for his spiritual, emotional, mental, physical and social well-being.  Sure, I come alongside him and try to build him up and minister to him, but at the same time, he’s a grown man and one who is already walking with his Savior.

But a baby needs their mama.  They’re completely dependent upon us for their basic needs the first few years of their lives.  And as time goes by we’re shaping their character and teaching them about Jesus.  And when you put all of those responsibilities together, that, my friend, is downright overwhelming!  It’s probably why most mamas lock themselves in the bathroom! Well, maybe not you, but it’s why I’ve done it. 🙂

It’s easy to see the fruit of an adult’s life, but in the life of your children, well, it takes time for the seeds that we plant to take root and produce fruit!

2.  The other reason why I don’t write much on motherhood is because it’s so easy for us as moms to focus on our parenting rather than on our marriage, yet, if we get these roles out of order or out of balance, then our marital relationship will suffer.  And I need to have a great marriage so I can be a better mother.

If you want to be a great mom, then become a great wife first!

Live a poured out life for Christ,

Jolene

 

Need some encouragement and guidance in your marriage?  Grab my latest book, Wives of the Bible:  25 Easy Lessons You Can Learn from these Imperfect Women that Will Radically Transform Your Marriage.